MARCH MADNESS

It's my favorite sporting event. Why?
1) Well, it's not just one game, it's many.
2) If you root for your team and they lose, there's another "favorite" team playing later that day (Actually sounds like my dating history).
3) College teams have cheerleaders who actually get excited about the game and aren't paid to jump around in skimpy outfits.
4) The cheerleaders jump around in skimpy outfits
5) EVERY game is sudden death. That makes for exciting finishes because teams go all out even if they're behind by 10 points with 30 seconds left.
6) Coaches run up and down the sideline getting more exercise than they've gotten in years.
7) I don't need Dick Vitale to tell me it's an exciting game.    BABY!
8) There's a hero in every game.
9) Did I mention the skimpy outfits?
10) I love the odd nicknames for some of the teams. (Can you say you root for the Hokies with a straight face?)
11) Did I mention...oh yeah, I did.

The usual comments on match-ups
There are odd match-ups that occur accidentally because the "committee" picks them by the team records. My way is much more fun.
** It can't happen, but wouldn't a Final Four consisting of Villanova, Kentucky, Arizona and Kansas State be interesting? You could root for the "Wildcats" and not be disappointed in the outcome. (Sorry Davidson, but I had to choose four)
** There's only three Tigers in the mix this year: Clemson, Auburn and Missouri. If Princeton had made it, we could have had another fun Final Four. Or a better Elite Eight.
** Some nicknames I don't recall seeing before.
     Brooklyn Blackbirds (If they lose, you could sing "Bye Bye Blackbirds)
     Radford Highlanders (Could be embarrassing to play in those kilts)
     Lipscomb Bisons (Bisons, Yes. Lipscomb, not so much)
     Marshall Thundering Herd (I understand the starting five averages 295 pounds)

More on match-up tomorrow, In the meantime, a sad note. The Omaha World Herald has decided to drop "Breakin' Brad," a humor column written by my friend Brad Dickson. Apparently, newspapers aren't above making dumb decisions. There's enough bad news in the world and humor helps us to deal with it. Mr. Dickson was one of the best at providing that valuable humor. Anne Murray sings, "I really could use a little good news today."  We've just lost some.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Heading to March Madness,   64 down to 1.  And besides the possible Trump administration resignations, there’s a basketball tournament going on."  -- Janice Hough
"Ex-Nebraskan Molly Schuyler won the Wing Bowl by downing 501 chicken wings, an average of 16.7 wings per minute — breaking the old record held by a garbage disposal."  -- Brad Dickson[I'm going to miss this - CP]

"Forrest Whitley, the Astros’ 6-foot-7 fireballing mound prospect, has been tagged with a 50-game suspension after failing a drug test. Club officials figured something was amiss last season when his errant spring-training pickoff attempt in West Palm Beach, Fla., finally rolled to a stop in Okeechobee."  -- Dwight Perry

" WWE legend and porn star Sunny was arrested on contempt of court and fugitive charges. She is reportedly in jail, where all holds are barred"  -- RJ Currie
"The U.S. is sitting sixth in the medal count halfway through the Winter Olympics — behind Russia, Which isn’t even officially here. I was pretty fired up about that. That’s like losing a bar bet to an empty stool."  -- Michael Rosenberg

"Reports are that Peyton Manning could make $10 Million a year as an analyst for Fox Sports or ESPN. And that’s before he mentions Budweiser or Papa John’s every 15 minutes."  -- Janice Hough
"Arkansas landed an inside linebacker named Bumper Pool. Now the Razorbacks are searching for an outside backer named Lawn Darts."  -- Brad Dickson

"Danica Patrick’s NASCAR career ended with a win-loss record of 0 for 191. “See? Now leave me alone!” said  Anna Kournikova."  -- RJ Currie
"The U.S. topped Canada to reach the gold-medal match in men’s curling. That’s like the U.S. beating Italy in pasta-making."  -- Roy Neese


CP-