Thursday, December 14, 2017

THE NEVER-ENDING BOWL GAMES

It used to be a really big deal to get into a bowl game. There were about 10 of them when I was a betting...er, a young man, and you had to have a great record to get into one.  They had names like The Gator Bowl, or The Sun Bowl. Of course, there were the big four played on New Years day: Sugar, Cotton, Orange and the Rose Bowl, daddy of them all. Notice too, there were no sponsor's names cluttering up the titles. And forget your record. any excuse a bowl could come up with got you in.
Now, there are some 40 games and they ALL have sponsors. There are so many now that soon the bowls will have to come up with gimmicks to attract fans and teams. Here's what I can see coming up in the near future:

(These are the actual names of bowls)
The Military Bowl
Both teams must remain at attention the whole game 
The Camping World Bowl
No hotels for the teams and no locker rooms. You can shower down by the crick. 
The Play Station Fiesta Bowl
The teams sit in the stands and play Maddon Football on their gameboys.
The Walk-on Independence Bowl 
This one's hard to promote because the game will be played by whoever shows up. 
The AFR Celebration Bowl
There's no game, just a beer party 
The Dollar General Bowl
It won't be much of a game, but hell, it's only a buck. 
The Franklin American Mortgage Bowl
You get in free if you bring a foreclosure notice on your house.

The Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl
Next year, you'll be eligible for the Franklin Amer. Mort. Bowl
The CheriBundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl 
After dinner, you come here for dessert. (Record holder for the longest name) 
The Bahama's Bowl
Make sure you see the guy in the parking lot. "I've got the best stuff, Mon."

The oddest sponsor pairing belongs to The Bad Boys Mower Gasparilla Bowl. Lawn care and a pirate. You figure it out.

Enjoy whatever games you prefer. Remember, it's all about supporting colleges and the sport. Or as My Uncle Al used to say., "I'm taking Notre Dame and the points." 

***THEY SAID IT***
"I just saw the video of Edmonton coach Todd McLellan reaming out the Oilers during a recent practice. Profanity? It reminded me of the last call from my ex-wife."  -- RJ Currie
"Reportedly Astros saw that Yu Darvish was tipping his pitches in World Series. Question of the day – why couldn’t the Dodgers see it?"   -- Janice Hough
" On “Monday Night Countdown,” Steve Young bit the head off a raw fish. If this doesn’t restore ESPN to ratings prominence, I don’t know what will."  -- Brad Dickson
"After explosives failed to raze the Silverdome on the first try, they had to rename it Cleveland Browns Stadium to get it to collapse."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"The IOC is considering pole dancing, poker and foosball for the Olympic Games. At the current rate, soon we’ll have Olympic Hangman and beer pong."   -- Brad Dickson
"LiAngelo Ball just got a tweet of sympathy from Bluto Blutarsky: “Three months of college down the drain!”  -- Dwight Perry
"A Florida couple hoping to sue their landlord for not fixing a door faked a break-in by shooting themselves in the leg. Who gave them legal advice? Plaxico Burress?"  -- RJ Currie

CP-





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