Sunday, June 14, 2015

I DON'T GET IT

ESPN - All sports. all the time.
Except when it isn't. When you tune in, you may see sports highlites but you might also see other things. You may see rock stars pretending to be sports anchors. You might see current athletes pretending to be sports analysts. You may even see sports anchors, pretending to be comedians. The pretense is over, guys - you aren't. I don't mind seeing one of the hosts trying to do an off-beat, funny intro into a segment; what I don't like is two of them trying to amuse one another, basically forgetting why they're there: SPORTS.
They have a number of women hosting the show now, and while I was dubious at first, they have proven they know sports, sometimes having a better understanding of the games than some of the guys. The short skirts don't hurt either.
Today, they had a fellow who does art using only a box of table salt. Is this a future Olympic sport?

Abby sits, Sweden laughs
Sweden's coach, Pia Sundhage, who used to coach the American team, said if she still coached the Americans, she would put Abby Wambach on the bench. The USA coach, Jill Ellis, fell for the ploy and Abby did not start. She did play the 2nd half, but the USA team lost 20 minutes of her talent which might have been the difference in the game. Wambach has it all: size. speed, strength and ability. She also has a knack for being in the right place at the right time. Plus, she's a bull. She runs opponents into the ground. But the biggest factor is her mere presence. Opponents often have to have two or sometimes three players mark her because she's a goal scoring machine. This frees up her teammates. If there is one maxim true in all sports, it's this: You can't score while sitting on the bench. The final score was 0-0, but it was really Sweden -1, USA -DNP (coaches decision).

Where have you gone Larry Lucchino?
Lucchino. president of the Boston Red Sox, put together what he thought was a World Series contender and boasted enough about it that he conned most of the media into believing him. He did it by spending a few million on some hitters that were going to strike terror into every pitching staff in the AL East. "Buying" a contending team is what Lucchino claims the Yankees did every year. Now that he's doing it, it's um...okay. Pablo Sandoval is not playing a gold glove 3rd base and he's hitting sporadically. Hanley Ramirez began by hitting a lot of home runs and then just stopped and continues to play left field like Manny Ramirez with a pulled hamstring. The pitching staff did have a lot of question marks coming into the season. There is no question now - They're terrible. The Sox are in last place and finding new depths to sink into every day. Watch out, Larry, Owner John Henry is starting to come to the games - and he's not smiling.

When will the Yanks figure out which team they are.
For a week, the Yanks look like the class of the AL East. The next week, they'd have trouble beating the Fargo Redhawks of the American Association. They are second in the majors in homeruns, but they lead the league in errors. They have arguably the most potent bullpen in the league (when healthy) yet they lead the league in wild pitches. Girardi and Cashman are in full panic mode when it comes to the bullpen. Have one bad outing and BOOM, you're pitching for the Lincoln Saltdogs. We'll probably have to wait until October to find out who the 2015 Yankees are.

Who should be the starting pitchers for the All-Star game?
Why is this an ESPN segment? Who cares who the starters are/ They're only going to pitch one inning anyway. Besides, most managers don't want ANY of their pitchers in the game. Why not just let retired-commissioner Bud Selig draw a name out of a hat?
There is talk that Alex Rodriguez should be in the All-Star game. Why? His numbers don't justify it. Sure, they're terrific for a 40-year old man after two hip surgeries and sitting out a full year, but there are a few DH-types out there with much better numbers who merit the choice.

***THEY SAID IT***
"A sample daily schedule for LSU fans this week at the College World Series in Omaha: breakfast, horseshoes, beer, more horseshoes, more beer, barbecue, more barbecue. Followed by a baseball game.* (*Time permitting.)"  -- Brad Dickson
"After the Cavaliers’ one-man show helped win Game 2 of the NBA playoffs: "LeBron James said it was a huge win, and he couldn’t have done it without the ball."  -- Jimmy Fallon
"There is a push for American Pharoah to be named Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year. There’s also a much smaller push for American Pharoah to be featured in the next swimsuit issue."  -- Conan O'Brien
"The owner of American Pharoah had already sold the breeding rights before he won The Belmont last Saturday. That guy doesn’t horse around when it comes to selling shares for “horsing around”.  -- TC Chong
"South Korean soccer player Kang Soo-il is blaming a moustache-growing cream for flunking a steroid test. Of course, it’s mere coincidence he has to shave it five times a day."  -- Dwight Perry
" The College World Series started today. What a shame that the Philadelphia Phillies just missed qualifying."  -- Janice Hough
"The way the Boston Red Sox are playing these days, fans are starting to refer to the Bobby Valentine era as "the good old days."   -- Mike Lupica
"The NFL announced October’s Bills-Jaguars game in London will only be available on the Internet. Network TV shows in that time slot promptly doubled their advertising rates."  -- RJ Currie 
"Part of the deal to keep the Arizona Coyotes was a favorable lease arrangement with the city of Glendale Arizona to keep the team there. That deal calls for the city to pay the Coyotes $15M a year to play in the arena; I would call that a “favorable lease”; how about you?"  -- The Sports 
Curmudgeon 

CP-
 

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