MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

** Now that the dust has settled, Max Scherzer's deal is NOT $28 million per year for 7 years. It's actually $14 million per year for 14 years. Before you get too comfortable, understand that for 7 years, he'll be paid in the neighborhood of $60,000 for each inning he pitches. Then for 7 years, he'll be paid that same $14 million for sitting at home watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory. Uber-agent Scott Boras has outdone himself this time.

** Because of some silly tax deal, the IRS has auctioned off the balance of  Darryl Strawberry's contract to an unnamed bidder. The winner paid $1.3 million to receive an annuity of $9,000 a month for the next 18 years. I know it sounds like a Scott Boras deal, but it actually is the IRS. So this deal ends sometime in 2033. Still not as silly as the fact that the Mets will still be paying Bobby Bonilla his $2 million a year for two more years after that.

** Dave Stewart, GM of the Arizona Diamondbacks, has said that the D-backs would be willing to make a an offer to free agent James Shields if Shields would be willing to make concessions to the D-backs because, "...they are a true baseball team." And he said this with a straight face. If you need some reasons why this won't  fly, re-read the first two paragraphs of this post. It's been a while since my dog ate my homework, but even he couldn't choke this one down.

** Are Belichick and the Patriots at it again? Now we have Deflate-Gate. Word is that 11 of the 12 game balls were under-inflated by about 2 lbs. Supposedly, the referees inspected and approved all the game balls 2+ hours before the game and then turned them over to the home team (New England). This is the two-week period before the Super Bowl, so the media will write 500-word columns on ANYTHING related to the game, so that explains some of the hype, but I have some questions.
1) How secure is this system when one team has 2 hours to do whatever they want to the footballs?
2) Wouldn't you think that professional quarterbacks would notice right away if a ball was under-inflated by 2 lbs out of 12?
3) Since both teams had to use the same balls, what is the advantage one team would have over the other?
4) The most obvious question is: How did they miss the one football?

** Here's an ESPN headline to ponder: "A-Rod gets tips from Bobby Bonds" About what? Hitting tips? Retirement tips? Proper use of the cream and the clear (Bonds PEDs of choice for you novices)?

** This one is hard to believe. Last month, the Arroyo Valley Girls High School basketball team beat Bloomington by a score of 161-2. More questions:
1) Is there really enough time in a game for them to score  161 points?
2) What possible reason could a coach have to let his team do that to another team?
3) Why did Arroyo Valley employ a full-court press for the entire game? The Bloomington coach reported that his team only crossed half court 4 or 5 times in the game.
4) Why is the Arroyo coach still employed?

** With all this talk about why James Shields is still on the market, there is another big name free agent still unsigned. That's right, boys and girls, it's none other than Joba Chamberlain. Another couple of weeks and he might be interested in signing with a "true baseball team."

***THEY SAID IT***
"The NFL is investigating the New England Patriots for allegedly deflating game balls in the AFC Championship Game. With any luck, the NFL will announce the results of the investigation in time for the Super Bowl in 2028."  -- Brad Dickson
"Ohio State’s recent football hero, third string QB Cardale Jones has decided to stay in school rather than declare himself eligible for this year’s NFL Draft. Everyone is saying that this is the absolute right decision for him, except the Buckeye’s 4^th string QB."  -- TC Chong
"The Mariners acquired lefty pitcher Mike Kickham: “I’d suspect their plan is to use Kickham when they’re down."  -- Larry Stone

"Q: What was even more impressive last week than Ohio State’s Urban Meyer winning his 14th college football game in 4½ months?   A: Joe Paterno winning 111 in one day."  -- Dwight Perry

"Ohio State football coach Urban Meyer was at it again on CBS’s “Late Night with David Letterman,” refusing to use the word “Michigan” when discussing his team’s No. 1 nemesis. He used to do the same thing (during his Florida tenure) when asked about the Gators’ biggest rival — the Gainesville Police Department."  -- Mike Bianchi

"Police were recently called to Newark International Airport to calm Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia after he missed his flight. I didn't realize that police provided this service. If he was that upset over missing his flight, wait until he finds out there's no meal service."  -- Brad Dickson

 "Heard about the latest flu inoculations? Since only about 1 in 5 shots succeeds, it’s been dubbed the Knicks vaccine."  -- Gary Bachman

"Jim Harbaugh has hired his son, 25, as a coach. Of course Michigan fans don’t care if Harbaugh puts his dog on the payroll, as long as he can beat Ohio State."  -- Janice Hough
"There is speculation that Peyton Manning will retire. It’s kind of embarrassing, because he’d be leaving with the same number of Super Bowl rings as Vladimir Putin and, worse, one less than Eli."  -- Brad Dickson
" NASCAR driver Kurt Busch testified in court his ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll is a trained assassin. A friend of mine said the same thing of his ex-wife, but only about her cooking."  -- RJ Currie


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