Friday, September 27, 2013

IF I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING INTERESTING...

...I'll make it up.

## Mariano Rivera says he didn't know what was going on when he pitched the ninth inning last night. He said he was getting flashbacks  and was in some sort of daze. "I didn't know what was happening," he said. Which must have made the two guys he got out, feel really good. Rivera didn't know where he was and they still couldn't hit him.

## In an odd turn of events, Eric Wedge, manager of the Seattle Mariners, fired the Mariners today, depriving General Manager Jack Zduriencik of a GM's favorite job - canning the manager. This is double trouble for Zduriencik, as Wedge was the only candidate he was able to find who could spell Jack's last name.

## Miami owner, Jeffrey Loria, has fired team president, Larry Beinfest. He also fired Beinfest's assistant, Jim Fleming, after he found Jim hiding in a closet in the trainers room. Loria said he will have more announcements later. Translation: he hasn't found all the hiding places yet.

## Bunglin' Bud Selig has announced his retirement, which will take place after next season. I don't think Bud can expect the same kind of retirement tour that Mariano got.

## Mariano Rivera may play centerfield for New York on Sunday. Is this a fulfillment of a lifelong dream or the start of a new career?

## What's the worst job on the Yankees right now? Being the broadcasters on the YES network. Ken Singleton and Michael Kay have nothing to talk about, nothing to get excited about and are forced to sit in the booth and talk for 3 and a half hours. They beat the Mariano Rivera story to death, brought it back to life and then beat it down again. Even bringing in Meredith Marakovitz for an inning didn't help. That woman sure talks fast. I have to push the slo-motion button on replay in order to understand her.

## Tampa has lost, Cleveland is way ahead and Texas is tied. If the Rangers win, it's going to be ver-r-r-y tight in those three towns this weekend.

## Amazingly enough, my friend Tony Chong used to watch Angel Scull play ball for Vancouver back in the 60's. Reminds me of when Vod and I used to root for Ike Delock, Dooley Womack and Bob Casube, back then. Their only qualification was an odd name. Had he played in the majors back then, Angel definitely would have made our team.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Mariano Rivera, 44, left the mound at Yankee Stadium tonight for the last time. “A promising career ended so young” said Jamie Moyer."  -- Janice Hough
"The Pittsburgh Pirates clinched a playoff berth for the first time in 21 years. I'd like to caution players and fans in Pittsburgh not to get cocky and expect to make it every 21 years."  -- Brad Dickson
"An ESPN analyst asked for one reason why Nick Saban would leave Alabama to coach in Texas. I’ll go with the only mainland state big enough for Saban’s ego."  -- RJ Currie
"Yankees honor Derek Jeter, retire his number, forcibly remove him from stadium."  -- TheOnion.com
"Oracle Team USA, down 8-1 to New Zealand, amazingly won eight straight races to snatch the America’s Cup. Or as the comeback is destined to be known: The Miracle on Melted Ice."  -- Dwight Perry

CP-
 








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