Monday, May 13, 2013

SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING OLD

## How does a team that's thrown together from cast-offs, second stringers and promoted-before-their-time minor leaguers, lead the toughest division in the AL, maybe in both leagues, for almost 25% of the season? There are Yankees standing on the field in Cleveland right now that I'm sure never expected to be there back in February.
What is going to happen to some of these players when the "first-string" guys start returning from the DL? Some will just go back to Triple A, as I'm sure they expect, but what about the major league players that Cashman has picked up as insurance when more and more players got hurt? A couple of them have to realize that there will be no room on the roster.

Ten ways  you know you're a temporary player:
10. When the traveling secretary tells you, "We're playing in Toronto next. See if you can catch a ride with somebody."
 9. Your post-game meal is a peanut butter sandwich and an orange. 
 8. Your "locker" is a stool in the groundskeeper's closet.
 7. You're paid in cash after every game.
 6. You bed is a cot in the trainer's room.
 5. You ask for a bat and the batboy tells you to get it yourself.
 4. You're not allowed to use the hot water in the shower.   
 3. You have to buy a ticket to get into the stadium.   
 2. They won't tell you what the signs are.
And the number one sign you're a temporary player:   
 1. They send you out on the field in your street clothes with your number written in magic marker on a piece of paper pinned to your back. 

***THEY'RE BAAAAACK***
The umpires are really distinguishing themselves this year. Let's review the last week.
++ Three umpires can't tell if a ball is home run or a double looking at replays that are so definitive, that even Stevie Wonder said, "Hey, c'mon dude!"
++ An umpire is so confused that he allows a manager to change pitchers illegally.
++ A home plate umpire awards first base to a player with a 3-2 count.
They can't see, they can't read and they can't count. A triple threat.

Actually, a manager cannot protest a game on any play that is a judgement call. A protest is only allowed when a rule is broken or incorrectly interpreted. In reality, an umpire breaks a rule a number of times in every game. This rule is very specific. An umpire is NOT ALLOWED to call time once a pitcher is in his windup or in his stretch position, ready to pitch. There is no room for judgement in this rule. Even if the batter has a heart attack and falls dead, play must continue. And I am not exaggerating here. It would be interesting to see a manager protest this call once. If it's on Joe West - even better.

***THEY SAID IT ***
 "The Lincoln Marathon drew entrants from all over the world, possibly because Lincoln is a cosmopolitan center full of entertainment and dining options. Or, more likely, it’s because Lincoln doesn’t have one hill."  -- Brad Dickson
"NFL free agent wide receiver Titus Young was arrested twice in 15 hours, tying the record set by Otis on “The Andy Griffith Show.”  -- Brad Dickson
"Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia bicker so much, are we sure they didn’t used to be married to each other?"  -- Janice Hough
"Some 78,000 people have applied to take a possible one-way trip to Mars.  Actually, it's 77,999.  Dennis Rodman's application is considered a return flight."  -- Dwight Perry
"Star Trek Into Darkness" is opening in theatres. The crew of the Enterprise boldly goes where no man has gone before - to a Miami Marlins game."   -- Alan Ray
"Five people have been arrested after fans tore out their stadium chairs during the recent Under-17 Glasgow Cup soccer final between the Celtic and the Rangers. They obviously misunderstood 'Please take your seats."  -- Ian Hamilton
"A Texas Longhorn baseball player used pitcher Cory Knebel's urine to beat a drug test - only to have it test positive for Adderall.  That's one blown save."  -- Bill Littlejohn
"The Los Angeles Angels, off to their worst start in franchise history, played a game against the Astros under protest. The Angels vs. the Astros – the only ones protesting should've been the fans."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-








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