Tuesday, May 28, 2013

MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS

**WHO ARE THOSE GUYS?**
So the big story all year has been the ability of the Yankees to compete successfully in the AL East with a bunch of replacement players. Right now, there are five 'starters' on the DL for New York: Granderson, Jeter, Teixeira, A-Rod and Cervelli. And that doesn't include the pitchers. Currently they are in 2nd place with a .600 winning percentage, but let's face facts, boys and girls - the replacement guys are not really scaring anyone at the plate. The six replacements (Wells, Overbay, Stewart, Nix and Youkilis/Adams) are hitting a combined .259, with 26 homers and 108 RBIs. You can't win when five of your full-time guys average 17 homers and 54 RBIs for the season. The Yanks really do need to get their big guns back on the field in a hurry or it's going to be a long painful summer.

**WHAT'S IN A NAME?**
Tampa Bay's Roberto Hernandez, who used to go by the name Fausto Carmona when he was a very effective pitcher with the Cleveland Indians, is now using his real name (we think), Roberto Hernandez. Apparently, his skills stayed with his alias, because Hernandez isn't doing well. Last Friday, the Yanks rapped him for 6 hits and 5 runs in 4 innings. Joe Madden, his manager, made this comment after the game - "He's just not himself, lately." Uh, maybe he is, Joe, and that's the problem.

**I DON'T FEEL A THING** (In tribute to my Aunt Kay)
When Aroldis Chapman came in to pitch the ninth inning for Cincinnati last night, he threw his first pitch to Nick Swisher way over his head and back to the screen. His second pitch came within an inch or two of Nick's head. At 100 MPH, this is not very pleasant. Chapman's manager, Dusty Baker, said "It wasn't a big thing." Sure, Dusty, it wasn't your head.

10 people were injured when part of the CAMCAT suspended camera broke loose and fell into the grandstand at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. Three people were taken to the hospital. Fox Sports released a statement saying they "...were relieved to know that the injuries to the fans were minor." Let's see if the subsequent lawsuits are also.

[My Aunt was the resident surgeon extracting slivers from fingers and hands in our family. If you screamed at the pain caused by her needle, you got the above comment.]

**WE REMEMBER**
Since I didn't post yesterday, I will say now that thanks go the veterans who fought bravely for us in various conflicts, and a special thanks to those who gave their lives in the performance of their duties. Our prayers  are with all of them and their families.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Ian Kennedy missed his start today because he cut himself washing the dishes. And all over America, men are going “See, honey, I’d love to help clean up but for men that stuff is dangerous.”  -- Janice Hough
" A long-term study of chess players and musicians has led scientists to finally conclude that practice doesn't make perfect. Wouldn't it have been easier to just follow the Chicago Cubs?"  -- RJ Currie
" Over the three-day weekend, Omahans flocked to see a replica of Sue the Tyrannosaurus rex on display at the Durham Museum. T. rex roamed the earth 67 million years ago. To put that in perspective, it's the length of two NBA playoffs."  -- Brad Dickson
"Beleaguered Cowboys QB Tony Romo had surgery to remove a cyst from his back: "Doctors report the thing was shaped like a large monkey."  -- Ian Hamilton
"An Argentinos Juniors soccer fan got so upset during the team's fifth straight loss that he tried to give manager Ricardo Caruso Lombardi a mouthful — as in, he threw his dentures at him. Alas, in keeping with the team's fortunes, his throw-in missed."  -- Dwight Perry
"A minor league baseball team in Greensboro, N.C., is using Labrador retrievers as ball boys. I feel sorry for the kid who was fired. “Sorry, Jason, we found someone who performs your job better.” “A ... a dog?”  -- Brad Dickson
"To the surprise of many, Niners coach Jim Harbaugh was chosen to drive the Indy 500 pace car. Less surprising? He finished second."  -- RJ Currie
"Sergio Garcia says he hopes to meet up with Tiger Woods in person to apologize for his “fried chicken.” Many fans would prefer the two wait to meet up until “Celebrity Boxing.”  -- Janice Hough

CP-






 

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