Wednesday, January 02, 2013

MAMAs, DON'T LET YOUR BABIES...

...grow up to be pro football coaches.
 A coach once said that the day after you're hired, you're already one day closer to being fired. The day after the season ended, seven coaches reached that fateful day. There was less carnage at the Little Bighorn Battlefield, but then Custer didn't have 80,000 fans calling for his removal. His termination was just a little more permanent
The list looks like this:
Romeo Crennel, Kansas City (2-14)
Andy Reid, Philadelphia (4-12)
Ken Whisenhunt, Arizona (5-11)
Pat Shumer, Cleveland (5-11)
Chan Gailey, Buffalo  (6-10)
Norv Turner, San Diego (7-9)
Lovie Smith, Chicago  (10-6)
Why is Lovie Smith gone? The Bears were 10-6 and missed going to the playoffs because of  some tie-breaker rule. The really sad part of all this is that you could just scramble all the cities in the above list and it could be the roster of coaches for this coming season.
Andy Reid's name is all over the news as the favorite for at least two of the openings. If he couldn't get to the playoffs with the talent he had in Philly, what makes an owner think he can get there with a new team?  Do they think he held back some of his coaching genius waiting for a better contract?
Another sad thing, is that Buffalo will hire some new no-name coach who won't be able to win with the also-rans his General Manager will provide him with. I don't think Ryan Fitzpatrick could lead the Oswego Buccaneers to an Oswego County league championship.

***CHAD'S HALL OF FAME***
I mentioned earlier, that I had certain players that I rooted for. For a few years, I had  help from Vod in choosing that player, so Mr. No-Name will have to share some of the blame.
Mickey Mantle was the first and probably the best
In the early '60s, we went with Dooley Womack. You gotta love that name.
When Dooley was traded, there wasn't a Yankee that we could agree on, so we choose Ike DeLock of Boston (I know, I know, what were we thinking?)
When Ike was released, there was no one, so, for the  rest of the 1960's, we rooted for Bob Casube, who flew the crop duster in the Atlantic gasoline commercials. Well, it was either him or  Horace Clark. Horace was a second baseman and when he played, the 2nd base bag was more impressive.
The 70's featured Sweet Lou Piniella. I liked Sparky Lyle, but I knew the Yankee brass wouldn't put up with his shenanigans for very long. And they didn't, banishing him to Texas the year after they acquired Goose.
I went without a hero through the '80's and '90's until Scott Brosius showed up and Matsui after him.
Now, I'm without a hero again until a new one arrives and who knows when that will be?

***THEY SAID IT***
"NASA is reportedly testing new insomnia-fighting lighting on the space station to help occupants stay awake. Interested potential customers include the Washington Wizards, Chicago Cubs and Toronto Maple Leafs."  -- RJ Currie
 "The Chicago Bears fired coach Lovie Smith after a 10 win season. In Washington, wonder if 10 wins will be enough to save the job of Randy Wittman, coach of the Wizards."  -- Janice Hough
"Tim Tebow's time with the New York Jets is nearing an end. The rest of the Jets are relieved; now they no longer have to put up with Tebow showering with his clothes on."  -- Brad Dickson
" The NFL Pro Bowl rosters have been announced. Perfect timing. After the hustle and bustle of the holidays, the players named can catch up on their sleep during the game.  One guy named to the NFC team already left a wake-up call for early in the fourth quarter"  -- Brad Dickson
" Jacksonville Jaguars fired GM Gene Smith: To make sure the players were nowhere to be found, the announcement took place in the end zone."  -- Alan Ray
"Philadelphia's Andy Reid was among seven NFL coaches fired Monday, and the locals seem to approve his departure. At least, all the hardcore Eagles fans gave it two fingers up."  -- Dwight Perry

"Twin sisters Lucy and Kelly Knott, 24, of Stockport, England, are teaching assistants by day and pro rasslers by night. Classroom discipline probably isn't a problem."  -- Dwight Perry
"Tim Tebow may be headed for the CFL next year. Wait until he finds out that it’s not The Christian Football League."  -- TC Chong
 
CP-
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