Thursday, November 29, 2012

Fore


Thanks to the USGA and the R&A for proposing rule 14.1.s.t.u.p.i.d that defines the putting stroke in such a manner as to effectively eliminate the use of long putters. This rule will have greatest impact on amateurs, seniors, recreational, and physically impaired golfers – just the people that we want to keep off the links.

Golf has taken a tremendous hit over the past decade. Hundreds of courses have closed. The number of rounds played annually has been, in good years, flatter than Twiggy. The proposed rule will get duffers off of the remaining courses, open up additional tee times, ‘preserve the purity of the game’ (their words) and assure that the game will continue to be played ‘as its founders intended’ (also their words) – by Scottish sheep herders with feather-stuffed golf balls.

We know that those with short putters have always envied those with long ones… so I congratulate the ruling organizations for their patience in making this decision – waiting nearly 50 years since the appearance of long putters on golf courses before issuing the ruling.

The organizations were most disturbed that young amateurs with long putters have been recently been beating older, short-puttered professionals. How embarrassing.

Beginning in 2016, if the rule is adopted, everyone’s putter will be short. 

Hi Ho!

HERE WE GO

***WHO GOES INTO THE HALL?***
I've gone over the list, which became much easier when you eliminate the 'cheaters,' and I've come up with four that I would vote for.

Jack Morris - He pitched for 18 years, won 254 games and had a career 3.90 ERA. He also won 7 games in the post season. He was the go-to guy wherever he played.
Lee Smith - 18 years, 478 saves, c'mon. What does a guy have to do?
Tim Raines - 23 years, 2600 hits, 808 stolen bases and a .294 career average. He was also a good fielder with a decent arm. He should already be in the Hall but I guess he didn't play for the Yankees long enough.
Craig Biggio - 20 years, all with the Houston Astros. He had 3060 hits and a .281 lifetime average. He also scored 1844 runs, 15th on the all-time list.

And the biggie - no suspicion of  steroid use for any of them.

***THIS YEARS FREE AGENTS***
18 have already been signed, but that still leaves 147 players waiting for offers, pens at the ready.  Nine of them are 40 years old or more. Historically, not much more than half of them will end up with jobs, which means that about 60 of them will begin their quest for the Hall of Fame in 2018.
Nick Johnson is one of them. His position is listed as DH, which, in his case, stands for Designated Hurt.

***RUMORS***
Mariano Rivera will probably sign with NY for $11 million plus some incentives, before the Winter Meetings.
Josh Hamilton is reportedly asking for 7 years at $25 million a year. Based solely on his ability, he's probably worth that, but he brings an awful lot of baggage with him, too much for a team to gamble on 7 years.
David Wright of the Mets has been offered a 7-year extension. He should take it. I don't think he could get that much more elsewhere. He's not the power hitter that  usually commands huge money.
The Red Sox may come back from the meetings with a new first baseman - Joe Mauer. Two years ago, this rumor would have been laughed out of the rumor-monger mill. His recent physical problems seemed to have soured the Twins on his value.
Nick Swisher to the Red Sox? Be still my heart. Wasn't Jonny Gomes enough?

***THEY SAID IT***
" A new study finds people who have just been playing music have a higher tolerance for pain. In a related story, fans at Washington Wizards games will be given kazoos."  -- RJ Currie
" Ndamukong Suh was fined $30k for kicking Matt Schaub in the groin, but claims it was “inadvertent.” Right, like he’s going to say “Of course I meant to kick a QB in the nuts?”  -- Jancie Hough
   [I love Janice Hough - CP]
" New York Giants tight end Martellus Bennett is being called a hero after catching a fan who fell from the stands. The fan has a lot to be grateful for, mostly that a Kansas City Chiefs receiver wasn't standing below him"  -- Brad Dickson
" It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas. Holiday decorations are going up, carolers are singing and Colorado just fired its football coach."  -- Brad Dickson
"To take four people to a Dallas Cowboys game with hot dogs and Cokes and some souvenirs will run you $634.78. My God, you could get a 50-inch HDTV at Best Buy for $550 and have enough left to buy 84 beers."  -- Rick Reilly
"Cardinals third baseman David Freese walked away OK after crashing his SUV into a tree after swerving to avoid a deer in the St. Louis suburb of Wildwood, Mo. For those of you scoring at home, that's an E-5 on a rundown play."  -- Dwight Perry
" Bud Selig vowed to keep Marlins fans in mind while monitoring Miami's salary-dump trade to the Blue Jays: And the amazing thing is that his nose didn't grow an inch."  -- Jerry Greene
"Tulane is the latest school to join the Big East for football. Perfect, now they can change the conference name to the “Big Easy” and be done with it."  -- Janice Hough
" Reports from the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show had guest performer Justin Beiber saying there was nowhere else he'd rather be. The guy's 18. This is news?"  -- RJ Currie

CP-
 







 


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

SO NOW IT STARTS

***THE BALLOTS ARE OUT***
The Hall of Fame has sent out the ballots to the voters for the 2013 class. For some reason, the roster of voters is not published. Various writers willingly admit that they have a vote, but overall, the list is secret.

Supposedly, some of the players that may have a problem with PED thing,  are hoping the stance against them will soften over time, but that doesn't seem to be happening. There is a lot of discussion as to whether or not the banned substances should have a bearing on the election. Every year, the criterion for election is sent along with the ballot:
 Voting shall be based upon the player's record, playing ability, integrity, sportsmanship, character and contribution to the team(s) on which the player played.
 I've highlighted two important words in that sentence - integrity and character.  As I've said before, it does not seem right that the achievements of some ballplayers are aided artificially and still get compared to the achievements of those who did not use PEDs. 
For example: The career numbers for Ted Williams include 521 home runs, 1839 RBIs and a .344 batting average. Manny Ramirez (you remember him) has 555 homers, 1831 RBIs and a .312 average.  Very similar numbers, right? If Ted Williams is in the Hall, wouldn't this mean Manny belongs, if you go strictly by the numbers?  Do you really think a guy who has been suspended twice for banned substances and has been accused of tanking games because he didn't want to play for a team, really belong in there next to Williams? I didn't think so.
By the way, there are those people who offer this argument: "What's with this integrity and character distinction? What about Babe Ruth who never met a beer or a woman he didn't like? Or Ty Cobb who never met anyone he didn't want to beat up?"  Interesting argument, but I will point out that the above criteria was adopted in 1945, and those two players were elected in 1936. Oh, it's a technicality all right, but a valid one, nonetheless.

Some interesting names are appearing for the first time, besides Clemens, Piazza, Sosa and Bonds. David Wells and Curt Schilling make their first appearance. So do Sandy Alomar, Jr., Craig Biggio and Steve Finley. 

As Vod has pointed out, one of baseball biggest names is missing - that of Marvin Miller, a name that struck fear in the hearts of every front office person in baseball for many years. Miller was responsible for getting players the money they always deserved. In fact, the pendulum may have swung too far in the other direction, but that never would have happened if the owners hadn't been so horrifically greedy for so long a time. Actually, the people who vote for induction are really just 'suggesting,' since the Hall of Fame can induct anyone they want. Maybe this would be a good time to just impose their will and install him. I would go for that.

***AROUND THE HORN***
Andy Pettitte has signed with the Yanks for 2013 for $12 million. Next on the Yankee radar is Mariano Rivera. They hope that deal will be completed by the end of the week. Then, Cashman says the Yanks will look at players like Russell Martin, Ichiro Suzuki and Raul Ibanez.

The Red Sox have made their first big move. It's Jonny Gomes, whose biggest claim to fame so far, is a misspelled first name.

B.J. Upton has signed a multi-year deal with the Atlanta Braves. That's just what Tampa Bay needed - losing another good hitter.

Do the names Casey Close, Dan Lozano, Larry Reynolds and  Brian Greiper ring any bells? How about if I add the name Scott Boras?  That's right, they're all sports agents and according to former GM Jim Bowden, agents have become the most important figures in the winter meetings. The first five agents have the reputation for being fair, honest and professional. Scott Boras, on the other hand, has a reputation for being...well, Scott Boras. 

***BRAD DICKSON'S BOTTOM TEN***
1. Akron (1-11)  The Zips lost 35-23 to Toledo in a game that would’ve been “The Battle for Ohio” if it weren’t for the fact that all the other teams in the state that are better.
 
2. Eastern Michigan (2-10)  Lost 49-7 to Northern Illinois in a contest that was the equivalent of two-week-old Thanksgiving leftovers.
 
6. UNLV (2-11)  Got drubbed 48-10 by Hawaii, a school with one win going into the game and whose season has made local football fans miss the competitiveness of the Hula Bowl

CP-





 

M.M. - R.I.P.


Farewell Marvin Miller. You did more to change baseball’s Plantation Mentality than any other person during my lifetime and yet we hardly knew ya’. Your exclusion from the Baseball Hall of Fame is a sad reminder of the century-long history of players as chattel.

Every youngster visiting Yankee Stadium will see larger-than-life images of George Steinbrenner, twice banned from baseball for being an above-the-law scumbag, twice reinstated because money doesn’t talk, it screams. So, while the likes of George become canonized in bronze, you remain the forgotten man, except in the paychecks of every player.

The enmity directed at you by the genteel Colonels of baseball as revenues grew from $50 million to over $7.5 billion dollars is a lasting testament to their everlasting sense of entitlement. What better leader for this group of later day Fauntleroys than the bumbling Bud Selig?

Rest in peace MM. You leveled the playing field by teaching the players that professional baseball is, first and last, a business, and when business is taken care of the game can begin.

V

Sunday, November 25, 2012

SOME MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS

*** An article appeared in the NY Post today, naming ten of the worst "Clubhouse Cancers" ever in baseball. These are players who never got along with anybody and created disharmony wherever they went. Many of the players named are recent players and I think it's because writers did not report a lot of bad behavior until the 1960s. Even then, there wasn't much reported that was so bad.
Lately, we are familiar with people like Manny Ramirez, who played hard when he wanted and didn't play when he didn't get his way. Carlos Zambrano and Milton Bradley would have tantrums that became viral on You Tube, and never stayed put very long, lasting only until a team just couldn't deal with it anymore.
The King of the List, as you might expect,  is Ty Cobb, who instigated incidents that seemed to be those of a crazed lunatic. He fought everybody: teammates, other players, managers, umpires, clubhouse men and, if the legend is to believed, once went into the stands and beat up a paraplegic. He still made it into the Hall of Fame, so obviously deportment wasn't a factor in his election.

*** Speaking of the Hall of Fame, the 2013 ballots will be sent out this week. Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and Mike Piazza will be on the ballot, so it will be interesting to see how they're treated. Mark McGwire and Rafael Palmeiro have not been well received to date. McGwire has admitted his usage and Palmeiro was suspended for testing positive, his wagging finger notwithstanding.
Bonds admitted taking PEDs but only unknowingly, Clemens denies it's use vehemently and Sosa didn't understand the question.
Buster Olney has taken this stand: "The Hall is a museum meant to document history, with all that entails. The Hall is not some Never Never Land, where everybody stays young and pretends the players are perfect in everything they do."  That's okay as far as it goes. That theory falls apart when you realize that the players admitted are players who achieved numbers that exceed the average player. The fact that they achieved those numbers with artificial help demeans those who reached similar numbers without the use of PEDs. To me, that is the definition of cheating, so I say, farewell Barry, Roger, Mark and adios Sammy (understand Senor Sosa?). 

*** I read that two Iowa athletes were suspended for hunting rabbits on campus. I knew the training tables in college provided different food than the regular cafeterias, but I didn't know the athletes supply their own meat. It's got to take quite a few rabbits to feed a 300 lb. lineman.

*** Sports announcers must feel they have to entertain besides describing the events, so for a long time they have been describing situations with words which really don't belong in the sport. Nobody hits homeruns anymore, they go yard. They don't fumble, they put it on the ground. Basketball players don't rebound, they hit the boards. At least the announcers don't call them cagers anymore.
Here's one that has snuck into the football booths: They have to be able to move the ball vertically. When I went to school, vertically meant up and down. If you throw the ball straight up, I don't think you'll have much of an offense. Please just move the ball horizontally and score.   ...but don't try to do too much.

*** A wise man once said, "Rich or poor, it's good to have money."  No where is this maxim followed more than sports -- any sports. Recently, two college teams, Indiana and Georgetown, played a basketball game that started at 10:10 PM on a Tuesday night. Trouble with the arena lighting? 2nd game of a double header? an especially long National Anthem? No, ESPN had a 10-12 PM time slot to fill. Sure hope no one had an Economics test the next day.

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Arch Duke Joseph Diamond just sold for a world record $21 million. Shocking. A story about a diamond and record millions that doesn't involve the Yankees"  -- RJ Currie
 "Miami shipped pitcher Mark Buehrle to Toronto, he says, despite assurances that he wouldn't be dealt as a condition of signing with Miami. So update that old bromide to read "The check is in the mail, this will only take a minute, and you won't be traded by the Marlins."  -- Dwight Perry
"If these guys were running the United States in colonial times, Brazil and Argentina would be states because they have something we need."  -- SU coach Jim Boeheim, to AP, on conference realignment
"Tufts University rescinded the honorary degree it bestowed on disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong and no, the degree was not in chemistry."  -- Ian Hamilton
"The Nebraska-Iowa game was overshadowed by Big Ten realignment. Actually, with the season Iowa is having, the game was also overshadowed by the “Green Acres” marathon on TV Land."  -- Brad Dickson
"Bill Belichick just won his 200th game. This is sort of like when Secretariat won the Triple Crown with the major difference being that Secretariat showed more emotion."  -- Brad Dickson
 "New Jersey was hit by a small earthquake. Either that or Gov. Chris Christie has taken up jogging."  --  Janice Hough

CP-

  




Saturday, November 24, 2012



Now that the Yankees, aka the Bronx Bombers, will be within the domain of Rupert Murdoch they will certainly need new nicknames, sobriquets and appellations. After all, Rupert simply can’t allow any of his interests to be associated with a place as “47%” as the Bronx.

So… Chad Picasner at Large is proud to sponsor the first Rename the Bronx Bombers Contest. 1st prize is a two-week vacation from any of the parallel universes inhabited by FoxNews’ blowhards and fear mongers. Everyone else must tune into Fox and suffer through four more years of a President who “just isn’t one of us”, 81 commie-democrat members in the House of Representatives, and get-the-hell–out-of-my-country tea-baggery.

Early entries include the Murdock Marauders, the Atlas Shruggers, and The Hackers (at the plate and into the cell phones of politicians, celebrities and anyone else that Rupert and his merry minions can exploit).

Send your entries to chadpicasneratlarge@hotmail.com

Entries will be posted and a winner will be announced when we feel like it. Fact checkers will not control the results.

MORE OF THE SILLY SEASON

Now that everyone has finished eating the turkey, it's time to begin dealing some of baseball's turkeys.  Of course, all the baseball analysts, evaluators and self-professed experts (present company excluded, of course) start rating the current rosters, the free agents and possible trades. It can be fun, envisioning the monster trades that assure your team of a spot in the post season or the surprise announcement of the signing of a coveted free agent. All dreams that end up as far-fetched as wondering if the head cheerleader will go to the big dance with you.
I enjoy reading the lists that rate the free-agents along with their possible resting place. Most are reasonable, but you have to wonder how feasible it is for some of the players to actually get offered contracts. For example:
Freddy Garcia - Garcia is getting pretty easy to hit these days. He has a tendency to give up a lot of home runs. If he signs with anybody, they better have a big park - like Yellowstone.
Nick Johnson - To say Nick is a little fragile is quite an understatement. He's the only player I know that can end up on the Disabled List -- in the off-season.
Ben Sheets - I don't see how anyone would take a chance on him. On one ratings list, he's behind two guys who retired.
Daisuke Matsuzaka - He nibbles at the corners of the plate so much, he's been know to reach a 100 count pitch limit by the third inning. Plus, you run the danger of your infielders falling asleep.

***I NEED HELP WITH THIS ONE***
Not only did Hal Steinbrenner dictate that the Yanks cut payroll, now he's selling off some assets. Rupert Murdoch, Fox News Corporation, is buying 49% of the YES Network. Luckily (Luckily?), the Yankees will control the pinstripe content, including the announcers. Hopefully, this means we will not have to deal with Tim McCarver pontificating as if he still knew something about the game. Because of the Yankee games and associated programming, the network is valued at $3.8 billion. With that kind of an asset, why cut the payroll? They may reduce players salaries, but I'll bet we haven't seen the last of the $10 beers.

***MAYBE THEY DON'T WIN, BUT THE PLAYERS ARE HAPPY***
What do Hiroki Kuroda, Ichiro Suzuki and Raul Ibanez have in common? Much to the dismay of their agents, all have stated publicly, that they all want to stay with the Yankees, sometimes at a discount. In fact, Kuroda has already signed with NY for one year, even though his agent says that he had other offers for two years and more money. Joakim Soria, considered a premium closer, has said he would sign as a set-up man, just to work with Mariano Rivera. What's going on here? Doesn't big money count for anything any more? It used to be that the Yanks were willing to pay so much more than anyone else, that players didn't care about conditions or anything else if the bucks were there. Maybe he was a pain in the ass, but George Steinbrenner was easier to figure out.

***THEY SAID IT***
"There were reports that Miley Cyrus was having three weddings in three locations. Call me a bitter divorce√©, but isn't that three too many?"  -- RJ Currie
"Mike Vick called for another “Players Only” meeting after the Eagles latest loss. Only this time, he couldn’t remember what he wanted to talk about."  -- TC Chong
"Arriving online this week, just in time for Black Friday: the Mariners' Holiday Gift Guide. Prices range from $7.97 for an M's cuff-knit stocking cap to $8.5 million for a gently-worn Chone Figgins."  -- Dwight Perry
Retiring football coach John Gagliardi, 86, to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, recalling his arrival at the Minnesota college: "When I came to St. John's, the monks told me there was a vow of poverty. I didn't realize that included the football coach."
"They had special rules for the family's Thanksgiving Day pickup football game: "The quarterback can't run. With us, that obviously wasn't a problem."  -- Giants quarterback Eli Manning
"Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano was sworn in as a U.S. citizen this week. Eyewitnesses said it was Cano, all right — he didn't exactly hustle up the line to get his papers."  -- Dwight Perry
"It’s a Happy Thanksgiving in 49 states.    Dallas lost."  -- Janice Hough
"A Wisconsin school district is trying to stop a joint public-private high school football team from having crosses on its helmets. This marks the first time a group of people in foam rubber cheeseheads have said: “Your headware is unacceptable.”  -- Brad Dickson
"A player named Jack Taylor at Grinnell (IA.) College scored 138 points in a game against Faith Baptist. A Faith Baptist coach said the team could have done a better job defending Taylor. I believe we have a winner in the 2012 “Understatement of the Year” contest"  -- Brad Dickson
" I had a full Thanksgiving. I watched the Houston-Detroit NFL game, followed by the Redskins-Cowboys game, and then the Patriots and the Jets and — oh, man, I forgot to eat Thanksgiving dinner"  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

Thursday, November 22, 2012

I Love A-Rod. Really. I do.


In the last two weeks Mitt Romney has officially become The Most Hated Man in America. Republican pundits and senior party leaders have fallen all over themselves trashing Mitt for everything from running a lousy campaign (in which all of the aforementioned vigorously participated) to representing Republicans as “The Party of the Stupid” (thank Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) for that). Strange that Jindal was in a Mitt bro-mance and positioning himself for a cabinet spot in a Mitt administration prior to the election night thumping.

While I thought it a bit odd that a party would eat its own, we are talking about a really nasty bunch of dudes. You know, Mitch McConnell, the senate minority leader who said, immediately after Obama was elected in 2008, that the most important issue facing the party was to make sure Obama was a one term president. And this is the same guy who invoked the filibuster over 300 times to stop as much legislation as possible to make that happen – at the expense of the well being of the country. And he was joined by Curmudgeon in Chief John McCain, the man so impressed by Sarah Palin’s resume (how the hell was that possible?) that he chose to put her finger one heart attack away from the nuclear button if he had been able to win – and then has never been able to forgive Obama for handing Team Red a much deserved loss.

But to throw the Mitt under the bus days right after the election after tagging it The Most Important Election of Our Lifetime? I wondered what was up with that, until today.

Today I found Mitt’s kiss of death, the real reason he lost the election. Why did he lose in all the battle ground states (excluding a razor’s edge win in NC)? Campaign contributions, plain and simple. Not the hundreds of millions of shady Super PAC money that flowed in from mysterious sources but the money that came from the previously Most Hated Man America – A-Rod.

Yes. A-Rod supported the Mitt. It’s one thing to embrace the support of a truly deranged Donald Trump or revel in the bile spewed from Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. But take an A-Rod contribution and baby, you are toast.

Thank you, A-Rod. I expect boos will turn to cheers when you play in parks across America. While you did little to help the Yankees you have perhaps saved the country. 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Ahimsa

You give to the world,
You give to yourself,
When you're giving your best to somebody else.

- Donna the Buffalo

Enjoy a shopping free Thanksgiving.

V

Monday, November 19, 2012

A FEW ODD COMMENTS

For those of you who wonder what Santa Claus does during the summer, that's when he takes his vacation. I ran into him in a little town in Wisconsin in August a couple of years ago. He was on his way back from collecting a refund on some eggnog empties.
Sadly, he refused to take my Christmas list letter.






## Former Yankee phenom, Brien Taylor has begun serving his prison sentence. Very sad.

## It seems there will soon be a play on Broadway about the Yankees. It will feature a number of former superstars such as Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle. Some of you may recall a Broadway play and movie called "Damn Yankees," about a man who sold his sold to the Devil to become a superstar playing for the old Washington Senators so they could finally beat the Yankees.
There is no truth to the rumor that George Steinbrenner got control of the Yankees the same way.

## Joe Girardi said the rehab needed on Derek Jeter's ankle will probably keep him from playing until late April or early May next season. Upon hearing this, Jeter immediately challenged Girardi to a race. Girardi said he'd agree, but only if he could have a head start.

## NY Post writer Mark Miller has published a list of the "most useless player" on each team. The Red Sox player was Alfredo Aceves, while Joba Chamberlain was listed as the Yanks most useless. I thought he might pick the whole Yankee lineup.

## Marlins owner, Jeffrey Loria, managed to get the city of Miami and most of Dade county to pay for his new stadium, by threatening to move. Now the Tampa Bay Rays are trying the same thing, but the Marlins were big losers after Loria brought in a bunch of highly paid studs and subsequently sold them all off, infuriating his fan base. This little scenario was not lost on the city of Tampa Bay. The odds on the city funding a new stadium for the Rays has diminished greatly and may force the Rays to move, since there is no way ownership will spend their own money.

## The World Baseball Classic is coming around again.  This is Bunglin' Bud Selig's baby: a national baseball tournament where Major League baseball players who are not yet in shape, get to come dangerously close to career-ending injuries...for no good reason. If I owned a Major League team, my players would be absolutely forbidden to play.

## Speaking of Selig, he is still "reviewing" the Marlins-Blue Jays trade. He should be able to concentrate on this situation as soon as he's finished handling the Oakland A's attempt to move to San Jose. This has only taken 2 1/2 years so far.

## Joel Sherman of the NY Post wonders if the Yanks will back off their payroll deduction kick in an article titled: "What Would George Do?" According to Sherman, Boss George would never stand for a team in their division making the big splash that Toronto did in acquiring three of the Marlins best players without going out and buying a couple of superstars himself.  Alas, those days are gone forever. Son and heir, Hal Steinbrenner has locked up the Yankee checkbook and won't tell Brian Cashman where the key is.

## Interesting little tidbit from the ESPN show, The Sports Reporters, yesterday. Mike Lupica, whom I call a 'conversational bully,' always tries to dominate the discussions, whatever the topic. He began to talk loudly over one of the other reporters, but excused himself by saying, "Sorry to interrupt, but it's in my nature."  Boy, that's for sure.

***BRAD DICKSON'S BOTTOM TEN***
3. Akron (1-10): The Zips had a bye week. Still, oddsmakers picked them to somehow lose
4. Southern Mississippi (0-11): Lost a heartbreaker to UTEP 34-33, a game in which no one left early, mostly because nobody showed up in the first place.
7. Western Carolina (1-10): Scheduled to play Alabama the week after the Crimson Tide lost for the first time. If you missed the game, picture a tank driving over a field mouse.
 9. UAB (3-8): Lost to Memphis, which was 2-8 going into the game. These two teams were on a collision course. Sort of like a Yugo heading for a Vega.

A couple of personal notes. Chad and his lovely wife (and editor) will be heading to Connecticut on Wednesday to celebrate Thanksgiving with son Mark and his family. I should say, DR. MARK, since he recently completed his quest for a doctorate in English. While I am proud of his achievement,  I am not looking forward to having my postings corrected for grammar and graded.

Secondly, Happy Birthday to my good friend, Dwight Perry, whose sense of humor I've utilized in this blog for a few years. I don't know how old he is, but Tony Chong says Dwight is once again, celebrating his 39th birthday.

***THEY SAID IT***
" A question about those Pittsburgh Steeler throwback jerseys. Can they throw them back?"  -- Janice Hough
"A Gallup report shows that Sunday is the day we spend the most time doing things we aren't good at. Especially if you're a Jacksonville Jaguar."  -- RJ Currie
" Hidden injuries! Switched jersey numbers! Intentionally deflated footballs! When USC said they wanted coach Lane Kiffin to set an example, I guess they should have specified what kind of example."  -- Greg Cote
"Marlins Park was the first to feature a retractable roof and retractable roster."  -- Steve Rushin
"Yanks Nick Swisher has turned down their qualifying offer. He says other teams are more than willing to pay him handsomely for the privilege of having their fans booing him. --  TC Chong
" Reports out of Philadelphia say 76ers center Andrew Bynum, already sidelined with a knee injury, has hurt the other knee — while bowling. So what do you classify this injury as, a lane violation?"  -- Dwight Perry
"AMF Bowling Worldwide filed for bankruptcy: "Not to worry. If my math is correct, they'll have that paid off as soon as they rent nine more pairs of bowling shoes."  -- Brad Dickson
"Caltech — known for its brainiac students and losing teams — getting busted by the NCAA: "Banning Caltech from postseason is akin to forbidding Pope Benedict XVI from break-dancing."  -- Norman Chad
" The Big Ten is considering the addition of Maryland. Great. Husker fans haven't yet figured out what a Boilermaker is and now we have to worry about the Terrapin?"  -- Brad Dickson

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL !

 CP-






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Yanks Sweep 2014 World Series



The Evil Empire is ready to become an adjunct of one of the slimiest, corrupt, international organizations of the early 21st century. Sounds like a match made in heaven.

Rupert Murdoch's News Corp is expected to announce this week that it will acquire a 49% stake in the YES Network from the New York Yankees baseball team and its partners in a deal that would value the sports channel at $3 billion.

The deal is structured to allow News Corp to eventually acquire control of the channel, which broadcasts Yankees baseball games to 15 million subscribers.

The deal would allow YES to raise the $2.99 monthly fee per subscriber it currently charges cable and satellite operators to carry the channel.

Oh boy! That’s great news, especially if YES will be managed similarly to Murdoch’s American centerpiece, FoxNews(????). No need for the Yankees to play 3+ hour-long games with $200 million rosters of under-performing 40-is-the-new-20 players in billion-dollar taxpayer supported ball parks. Like Fox, YES can simply make stuff up, like scores and standings, and report it as fact!

I really enjoyed the Bombers’ sweeps in the 2013 and 2014 World Series, but most impressive was Derek Jeter winning the Triple Crown, both the Al and NL MVP, Gold Gloves and Cy Young awards at age 50. 

All this and the opportunity to put money into Rupert’s pocket so he can spy, lie, cheat and steal on an ever grander scale.

The Boss would be proud. 

V

With Friends Like These Who Needs Blogs

And from the Josh and Sandy Dunn Perpetual Sibling Rivalry and Favorite Football Team Feud ...

Josh: Hey, Sandy, how do you get a Dalls Cowboy to stand up? Just say, "Will the defendant please rise."

Sandy: Hey Josh, how do you keep the Buffalo Bills off your lawn? Simple. Put up goal posts.

V

Friday, November 16, 2012

OTHER THINGS

***TWO MORE CHOICES THAT ARE HARD TO ARGUE WITH***
Miguel Cabrera and Buster Posey were chosen as MVP for their respective leagues. There certainly were other candidates that were worthy, but since both players' teams ended up in the World Series and both had great seasons, it's hard to find fault with the winners.
The "Mouth That Roared," Curt Schilling, tried . He picked Mike Trout, and he did have a great season, but Schilling seemed to focus on the fact that he was going to be good for a lot of years. It seems to me that Schilling is as good a baseball analyst as he is running a video game company.

David Price and R.A. Dickey won the Cy Young awards, two more good choices. Unlike the MVP award, which indicates the value a player has in helping his team win, the Cy Young award goes to the pitcher that had the best year. While there were other good performances by others, these choices worked for me.

***BUD SELIG IS REVIEWING THE MARLINS-BLUE JAYS TRADE***
I don't know what that means. There are analysts who have argued both sides of the deal, one side claiming the Jays came out on top, while the other side say the prospects the Marlins got will prove them the winner. This was not a "sale," players weren't sold, so how is Selig going to justify voiding the move. Years ago, Bowie Kuhn canceled a couple of deals by Charlie Finley of the Oakland A's, who sold three players for one million dollars each, to reduce his payroll because he was losing money. Kuhn  said the deals "...were not in the best interests of the game."  This obviously did not please Finley, who began calling Kuhn, "The Village Idiot." Maybe Selig should try and help Florida finish counting presidential election ballots and stay out of things he has no insight into.

***SOME JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES***
Of course, straight lines have a lot to do with that. A pub in England is hosting a "World's Biggest Liar" contest. I first read about this yesterday and so far I have seen four different punch lines on the various sites I frequent, all with similar themes: certain people have been declared ineligible. Senators, lawyers, generals and even A-Rod to name a few. I was going to put one in my post, but all the good ones were already used. Here's a couple of them:
"A British pub hosted a “World’s Biggest Liar Contest” this week. Since this was an amateur event, lawyers and generals were not allowed to participate."  -- TC Chong
"The Bridge Inn pub in Northwest England is hosting "The World's Biggest Liar" contest.
Alex Rodriguez — who said he wanted to play for a winner, then left an ALCS Mariners team in 2000 to sign a record deal with last-place Texas — is reportedly up for a Lifetime Achievement Award."  -- Dwight Perry

***ANYBODY INTERESTED IN WATCHING COLLEGE BASKETBALL"***
There is something called "Marathon Madness" going on today. The games will start at 10:00 AM  with the last game starting a little after midnight. A total of 67 games, 134 teams will go at it. I've been know to stay up until 4:00 AM to watch college games with as much importance as Oswego City League games, but this is a little much for me. Some of them might be interesting, Oklahoma State vs, Tennessee, or Wake Forest vs Connecticut, but others...well. The Highlanders of Redford will tip off against Towson Tigers in the Comfort Suites Invitational at 8:00 PM. If that holds no interest for you, try the Quinnipiac Bobcats against the Iona Gaels in the Paradise Jam, in which the winning team gets to pick a new nickname (Go Iona!!)
I never realized how many states are divided up between schools. Check out this list:
Eastern Kentucky and Western Kentucky
Michigan has three - Eastern, Western and Central
North Carolina could have it's own conference -
N Carolina, N Carolina State, N Carolina Central, N Carolina Greensboro, N Carolina Wilminton, Eastern Carolina, UNC Ashville and N Carolina A & T. And they all play today. I believe there will be a lot of college professors looking at empty classrooms today.

A final note, 26 of these 67 games will be televised nationally. This means that some fans will HAVE to suffer through Dick Vitale  -- "Baby!"

***THEY SAID IT***
" A University of California study finds the harder the lessons we have to learn, the stronger the brain gets. Does this mean all Toronto Maple Leafs are geniuses?"  -- RJ Currie
"A-Rod says he will approve a trade, as long as he doesn’t go to a team that wants to use him exclusively as a DH. As witnessed during the recent playoffs, it’s obvious that he still wants to play the field."  -- TC Chong
"MLB Commissioner Bud Selig is apparently “examining” the pending trade between the Miami Marlins and Toronto Blue Jays. What, to find out why the Marlins didn’t make the deal with the Yankees?"  -- Janice Hough
"At the airport I was asked if I'd seen anything unusual lately, so I reported witnessing the Kansas City Chiefs get a first down."  -- Brad Dickson
"My favorite video game as a kid? Pac-Man, a little yellow guy who kept popping pills until he won. He was the Lance Armstrong of his day."  -- Craig Ferguson
"Don Cherry, the bombastic Canadian hockey broadcaster, incurred a few bee stings when he stumbled upon a nest built in his backyard shed.Our unofficial straw poll says 73 percent were rooting for the insects."  -- Dwight Perry
"Northern BC communities that lack real Banks (Taylor, BC) will get ATMs with video links to “live” tellers.
I tested one of those video ATMs once. I held up a gun to indicate it was a holdup. The video teller responded by showing me a set of handcuffs."  -- TC Chong
"In college basketball, No. 9 Duke defeated No. 3 Kentucky, 75-68.Give Kentucky coach John Calipari credit for not using the fact that three freshman Kentucky starters left for the NBA at halftime as an excuse."  -- Brad Dickson

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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Bush the Blowhard (No, not George)


Buffalo fans are holding a Squish the Fish rally prior to tonight’s game and are taking particular aim at loud-mouth Reggie Bush for dis-ing Buffalo women and uttering other stupid crap.

No doubt Reggie is just ticked off because 1) Kim dumped him for Kanye, and 2) because he made more money in college than he does now.

V


Wednesday, November 14, 2012


Thanksgiving, without doubt, is our family’s favorite holiday. The sentiment of the day is an expression of caring, kindness and community. Laura, my wife, thoroughly enjoys preparing a family meal and Thanksgiving eve is perhaps the best night of the year, when all of the kids are able to come home, stay over night, share their recent stories and reminisce about days gone by.

Over the years it has been a tradition that we watch a movie or two, John Candy’s Planes, Trains, and Automobiles a long time favorite, with each of the kids parroting their favorite lines right on cue. I also like to choose a film that we haven’t shared before and this year I suggested Seabiscuit while talking to our oldest son. He surprised me when he said, “I don’t like horse movies.”

I told our daughter several days later and she laughed, asking just how many horse movies he had seen. Considering the question, we were able to quickly name National Velvet and the recent War Horse. We both agreed that The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse really wasn’t “horsey” and were hard pressed to come up with other ‘horse films’ he might have seen and found ‘unlikable’. We did what needed to be done; we Googled ‘Horse Movies’ and struck gold.

Among those we somehow missed were the 20th century classics A Horse Grows in Brooklyn, Gone with the Horse, and It’s a Wonderful Horse.

World War II themed films included The Horse Over the River Kwai, A Horse To Far, and the Pearl Harbor inspired Horsey! Horsey! Horsey!

Mel Brooks, the great comedic director, contributes Young Horsenstein, Horse Balls, and Blazing Horses.

The visionary films 2001: A Horse Odyssey and A Clockwork Horse highlight the legendary Stanley Kubrick’s catalogue.

And who could forget the film that launched the still stunningly successful James Bond genre, Horsefinger.

Yet, we remain baffled. What’s not to like?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

V

AROUND THE LEAGUE

***A DIFFERENT WAY TO ATTACK THE PROBLEM***
The Miami Marlins and the Toronto Blue Jays have pulled off a blockbuster trade. The Jays got SS Jose Reyes and pitchers Josh Johnson and Mark Buehrle. The Jays gave up SS Yunel Escobar, some secondary players and four pretty good prospects. Of course, the Blue Jays still don't have a manager, but one more big trade like this and they won't need one.
The Marlins are left with Giancarlo Stanton and...well, that's all. Since it's against the rules to have him bat third, fourth AND fifth at the same time, it doesn't look like they'll have much of an offense. Stanton's not too happy, either. "Alright, I'm pissed off!!! Plain & Simple," Stanton tweeted.
Owner Jeffrey Loria is supposedly changing the decor of the stadium to a number of white flags...all at half-mast.

***...AND ANOTHER THING I WANT...***
The Lakers hired Mike D'Antoni to be their new head coach, much to the chagrin of Phil Jackson. Reportedly, Jackson thought the job was his and it was just a matter of ironing out the details. Rumor has it, his price was too high -- waaay too high. "Okay, I want the final say on all personnel matters, part ownership in the team, a lounge chair on the bench, a sedan chair ride to and from the locker room,...where'd everybody go??

***THAT WAS EASY***
Mike Trout and Bryce Harper were voted Rookie Of The Year in their respective leagues, in what had to be the easiest choice since electing Babe Ruth into the Hall of Fame. I can see the new candy bar now: the Mike and Bryce. "Buy it now, because the price is going to skyrocket later."

***HE FOUND HIS FIRST 'ONE DUMB OWNER'***
Robinson Cano became an American citizen yesterday. Apparently. it's Scott Boras' first move with his new client. I wonder what the US Government had to agree to? A No-Trade clause? Player options? Incentives? 

***DO YOU THINK YOU WERE TOO HARD ON HIM?***
Andrew Marchand of ESPN, had an end-of-the-year interview with Joe Girardi. Some sample questions were, "What was your favorite team? What's your favorite food? Do you cook?"  I guess he was leaving the tough questions for Barbara Walters.

*** THEY SAID IT***
" At the Victoria Secret Fashion Show in New York, Alessandra Ambrosio wore a $2.5 million jewel-studded bra. It's the costliest bust this side of Bill's quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick."  -- RJ Currie
"Jackson's demand for paid nap time killed Laker deal."  -- eTrueSports.com
 "AMF Bowling Worldwide Inc., the world's largest bowling-alley operator, filed for bankruptcy for the second time in 11 years, citing debts up to $500 million. Creditors, in keeping with the theme, say they'll be lucky to get a 7-10 split."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Dodgers signed ex-steroid slugger Mark McGwire as their hitting coach: "His name was on a state highway in Missouri, but at USC it's on the chemistry building."  -- Argus Hamilton
"Well, give him points for honesty: QB Tyler Bray told reporters “I’m paid to win football games.” For the initiated, Bray plays at Tennessee. Not the Titans. The University of Tennessee."  -- Janice Hough
"The Philadelphia 76ers have something called Big Bella - the world's largest T-Shirt launcher. How embarrassing is this for North Korea? We now have a T-Shirt gun with a longer range than their missle launchers."  -- Brad Dickson
"Trainers at a South Korean zoo have taught an elephant to say words which locals claim they can understand. So there's new hope for Charles Barkley."  -- RJ Currie

Just for the record, when I lift a direct quote from another source, I italicize and color it. If it's not colored, I made it up.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Warning. This post contains an asterisk which may be unsettling to sensitive readers.


Jeff Gordon, four times NASCAR champion, took a page from Bullet Bob Gibson’s book and threw a high, hard one at Clint Boyer’s noggin in Phoenix this past Sunday. Boyer had been responsible for wrecking Gordon earlier in the year costing one of NASCAR’s iconic drivers a win at Martinsville and, according to Gordon, had run into him enough other times that it was time to take care of business. And he did, waiting on the track after another paint-trading encounter to take Boyer and his championship hopes into the wall. 

Boyer’s pit crew immediately went to the grease racks (mattresses were unavailable) and attacked Gordon’s crew setting off one of the great infield scrums in NASCAR history.

Gordon was fined $100,000 and put on double-secret probation until the end of the year (that would be one more race). No suspensions, no warnings to crew chiefs that the next incident means your ejection. In NASCAR, issues are settled by the drivers, in cars, frequently at speed.  Bob Gibson would like that.

While we wait for the Yankee’s to become relevant once again (this could take a while) … we have another K Rove winner.

The recent presidential election produced a clown-car load of nominees. Mitt Romey’s campaign manager looked like a sure winner when he announced that “fact checkers will not control our campaign” but was sent to the sidelines when Fox News decided that facts would not control their news. (Fox remains a candidate in the Best Fictional Account of the Election, the Country and Reality category.)

Early Republican primary candidates Herman Cain (… I have so much spinning around in my head…), Rick Perry (…the three departments of the federal government I would eliminate are… uh, I can’t remember… ), Rick Santorum (Obama said he wants every one to have an opportunity to go to college. What a snob!) and our very own Newtster, ready to colonize Mars, were all serious contenders.

Our winner is… the darling of the Tea Baggers, the no-taxes on the rich pledgemeister, Grover (Grovel Before Me) Norquist.

In explaining the election results in an interview on CBS, Norquist blathered that President Obama’s decisive win was largely due to his portrayal of Mitt Romney as a “Poopy Head”. No lie! He claimed that because Obama called Romney a “Poopy Head”  (which, of course, the President did not) over 50 million stupid, gullible Americans voted for Obama.

It appears that rather than trying to attract voters among the fastest growing demographic groups in the country, Norquist is tweaking his message to attract the not-yet-potty-trained pre-schoolers - a group he was already strong with.

Yes Karl, now there’s a complete HorsesA*s.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

HERE AND THERE

## ONE RIGHT CHOICE, ONE WRONG CHOICE
Two hitting coaches were hired this week, and the choices were on the opposite ends of the scale.
Tino Martinez is the new hitting coach of the Miami Marlins. There might be politics involved in this choice, since Tino lives in Florida and he will probably appeal to the Latin contingent of South Florida, and he's never held a position like this before, and I've never heard anything about a scientific approach to hitting. But, you can't argue with his personal success with the bat and he does have a squeaky-clean personal reputation. That alone will go far after the fiasco that was Ozzie Guillen.
The other coaching choice is one I don't understand. Mark "I-Don't-Talk-About-The-Past" McGwire, who moved from the Cardinals to the Dodgers. It's one thing to use PEDs while playing, especially before suspensions were decreed, but why hire an admitted user AFTER his playing days are over. This guy lied and danced around his drug use in front of a Congressional hearing and didn't 'fess up until he was basically safe from any punishment. He may actually be an effective coach, I just don't agree with rewarding his terrible behavior when he could have stood up like a man and not been so arrogant in his denials. It may seem outrageous for the Dodgers to spend money like they have the last few months, but this was definitely a poor choice.

## SPEAKING OF MONEY...
The Dodgers just paid over $26 million for the rights to negotiate with Japan's latest pitching phenom, Ryu Hyun-jin (I'm sure we'll be told how to pronounce it later), and that's only the start - they still have to negotiate a contract with him.  No matter how many times this kind of deal for a Japanese pitcher goes sour, somebody will still step up with the checkbook. And this time, it's not the Yanks.

## SOMEBODY HAS TAKEN GEORGE STEINBRENNER LESSONS
His name is Mitch Kupchak, the General Manager of the LA Lakers.  After just 5 games, coach Mike Brown has been terminated because of the teams 1-4 record. With two new starters in the lineup, you have to know that it takes time for a team to jell and 5 games is nothing. Even Yogi Berra lasted 16 games before George dropped the axe on him. You could have picked a better role model, Mitch.

## LOWERING THE YANKEE PAYROLL IS WRONG...
...according to agent Scott Boras. Of course he thinks that. One of Boras main ploys is to set Boston and New York against one another, or to use the threat of big Yankee money to get better contracts for his clients. And it worked: many of the times, the Yanks were Boras' O.D.O. - One Dumb Owner.
Mike Lupica was not impressed. "...that's just Boras operating under the tragic misconception that we still care what he thinks. Nice to know, though, that he's still willing to throw his back out if he spots an extra twenty-dollar bill on the floor."

One sportswriter suggests that the Yanks post a "No Loitering" sign by first base for Robinson Cano's benefit. Probably not a bad idea. If there is one bad aspect of Cano's ability. it's his penchant for loafing to first base unless he is absolutely, 100% positive that he has an extra-base hit. Maybe Girardi should start handing out escalating fines for this behavior.

Congratulations to my friend Dwight Perry, Night Editor of the Seattle Times, and a source of many quotes in this blog, for completing his 3000th column in the Times this week. His column, "Sideline Chatter," is a must-read for me and thousands of others. His barbs, twists and groaners are the result of an ingenious sense of humor -- or perhaps too much scotch. Whatever the source, he is a very talented writer. Dwight, Picasner thanks you for your help and encouragement.

***THEY SAID IT***
"There’s a lot of college football left to play…but right now the BCS national championship could feature – Oregon vs. Kansas State. A prospect that must have ESPN as excited as FOX was to televise a SF vs. Detroit World Series."  -- Janice Hough
"Steve Nash is out with a small fracture in his left leg — in just his second Lakers game. Probably not the definition of fast break that Lakers fans had in mind."  -- Dwight Perry
"Cowboys owner Jerry Jones got locked out of his team's locker room: "Now that's an NFL lockout we can support."  -- Todd Dewey, Las Vegas Review-Journal
"The president got heckled during a late campaign stop in Cincinnati: "Obama's get-tough-on-crime policy has cost the Bengals half their defense."  -- Brad Dickson
"A 14 year old Chinese golfer has qualified for next year’s Masters by winning an overseas amateur event. His scorecard will be the only one completed and signed with a crayon."  -- TC Chong
"Wash St votes to legalize pot: Seahawks fans will be able to purchase “nickel or dime defense” bags to take to their seats."  -- TC Chong
"The New York City Marathon says it may erase Lance Armstrong's result from the 2006 race. Lance finished 868th. Imagine the excitement of the guy that moves up from 869th?  -- RJ Currie 
"New York has been hit with a major snowstorm just days after tropical storm Sandy. It's one disaster after another, like Tim Tebow going in for Mark Sanchez."  -- RJ Currie

"A Tour de France winner is okay after being hit by a car while riding his bike. This is when you know there maybe PEDs at the Tour de France - a guy is hit by a Buick and keeps on pedaling."  -- Brad Dickson
"Mike Brown got fired from the Lakers for a lot of reasons, starting with this one: He put in a Princeton offense with a Laker team that couldn't beat Princeton.  -- Mike Lupica

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Thursday, November 08, 2012

Can You Find the Baseball Metaphor?

Dick Morris, Fox News contributor, was a bit off in his prediction of a Romney landslide, guaranteeing a 5-10% margin of victory in the popular vote and over 300 electoral college votes. Morris was closely trailed in the race for the Most Wrong-Headed, Insipid, Mathless Prediction by Kudlow, a Fox News contributor, Krauthammer, a Fox News contributor (do you sense a pattern here), and the Mighty George Will, a Fox News contributor...

Collectively, the Fox News Contributors are awarded a 1st Runner-Up Sash in the inaugural K-Rove Awards.

It's hard to believe that the  propaganda of the Fox-trots is not our winner. But on the very day following an historic election that demonstrated a national  refusal to continue to live in fear and once again enjoy a uniquely American sense of confidence and good humor, one man has been able to transcend this sense of freedom and relief and cast the election in truly disgusting terms. That man, the Big Sausage Grinder, the man Behind the Curtain of the GOP and Other Lands of Make Bekieve... Rush Limbaugh... is the first recipient of the - K Rove Horse'sAss - Lifetime Achievement Award!

Rush earned his award by describing the overwhelming support that women, who, by the way, made up over 54% of the voting electorate, gave to President Obama in these terms...

"They were afraid that he (Romney) was going to take away their birth control pills."

"He (Obama) treated them like vaginas so they supported him."

Fox News, perhaps in a hissy fit caused by the loss of their candidates (which were predicted to win in the Asses by all Fox News pundits - ironic, huh?) was one of the few cable news networks not to air the tape of Rush hruuummmphing his infamous remarks on his radio broadcast (not ironic at all but, in less than 10 seconds, the endlessly blovating Limbaugh managed to offend, minimalize and totally dismiss  over half of those Americans who voted in the election while candidate Willard only reached the 47% mark in his infamous moment of truth.).

Is it possible that Rush has now set the bar so high for the incredibly stupid and demeaning that no one can ever again realistically aspire to achieve the level of depravity demonstrated by
the 1st K Rove winner?

Possibly. But let's not underestimate the depth of the Fox News bull-sh*t-pen (see, there's a baseball metaphor). We've yet to hear from Sean Hannity and his his merry henchmen, among a host of others.

So, Rush, enjoy your K Rove while you can. You currently epitomize the perfect Horse'sAss, but others are aiming for your hindquarters.

- "Colorado voted to legalize marijuana for recreational use. The Mile High just became figurative." Josh Dylan

V

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Mitt is dead. Long live the K Rove. He has better hair than Donald.

V


Tuesday, November 06, 2012

THE START OF THE SILLY SEASON

This is the time of the year when the rumor mill is in full swing, when any little hint or mention of a player is blown completely out of proportion - The Silly Season. We also get some explanations, reasons or excuses for the happenings of the previous season.

***ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE BAND WAGON***
After being bad-mouthed by Bobby Valentine, David Ortiz has some unkind words for his former manager. Bobby had insinuated that Ortiz had quit in August not because of an injury but because the team was out of the playoff hunt. Needless to say, Ortiz was unhappy with that accusation: "I did not respond to the message and I said to myself, this guy must have some mental issues or needs medicine or something? I said, I am dealing with someone crazy and I am not going to drive myself crazy, so it is better if I leave it alone." I think if the door to any future managing job for Valentine was still open, this latest episode has pretty much boarded it shut.

***HOW MUCH WAS MELKY CABRERA WORTH***
An ESPN poll asked voters if Cabrera should get a full World Series share from the Giants. 68% of the almost 5000 voters said no.  Players used to vote on shares for people on the team, including part-time players, trainers, coaches, clubhouse personnel and the like. It made for some interesting meetings. The shares are now controlled by union rules. Cabrera was eligible for enough games to earn a full share, PED use notwithstanding. Ya gotta love those unions.

***THE FREE AGENT MARKET***
It used to be that the interest was in what players went where. These days, of course, there are two elements that come into play: HOW MUCH and HOW LONG. The players (actually, their agents) come up with the same drivel every year. "I want to go where I have a chance to win, where I'm wanted and needed. I want to get that World Series ring."  If only that were true. Catch an agent in a weak moment and you get a different answer, one that is closer to the truth. This is from Buster Olney: "I once asked an agent which club was the favorite to sign a specific client of his and the answer may knock you off your rocker, so brace yourself. "The one that offers the most guaranteed money," he replied."  That kind of honesty can get you kicked out of the agents club.

***CASHMAN, YOU'VE GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DO***
The Yankees have claimed catcher Eli Whiteside off the waiver wire from the San Francisco Giants. His record last season: 11 At-Bats, 1 hit and 1 walk. Too small a sample for you? For his CAREER, 489 ABs, 10 homers, a .215 batting average and a .273 on-base pct. The money is supposedly only $75,000. It could have been more, but Eli said that's all he could afford. 

***THE MARKET FOR LAST YEARS YANKEES***
# The market for catchers is pretty slim, so Russell Martin may be in demand. The Yankees are reportedly interested in keeping him, but they have indicated that they won't overpay - whatever that means.
# Hiroki Kuroda could inspire a bidding war if he was open to any situation, but it's said he is only willing to go to certain teams (NY is one of them) and only wants a one year deal. Cashman will be pushing hard.
# Swisher will get a number of offers and most will be more than the Yanks will offer. If he's smart, he will wait for a while before he accepts an offer. The more removed from his terrible post-season, the less sever  his failures will appear.
# There are some intriguing situations awaiting some of the other Yankee free agents. Pettitte will probably sign only with NY if he decides to play, as will Rivera. There isn't any word yet on Cashman's willingness to sign  Raul Ibanez, Jason Nix or Ichiro Suzuki.  There is interest in all three, but the question is, how do they fit into Hal Steinbrenner's payroll decrease plan.

Joakim Soria, Kansas City's closer is also a free agent. He is recovering from Tommy John surgery and probably won't be able to pitch until May of next year. He wants to be a closer - except with the Yanks. He wants to play with Mariano Rivera, his hero,  and will be a set-up man only for NY. That could be quite interesting.

***BRAD DICKSON'S BOTTOM TEN***
2.) COLORADO (1-8) Fans throwing snowballs from the stands, have a higher passing efficiency rating than the Buffaloes quarterback.
4.) NEW MEXICO STATE ( 1-8) The Aggies lost to an Auburn team Saturday, that had less momentum than Stonehenge.
7.) SOUTHERN MISS (0-9) They lost to UAB (2-7) in the Exercise in Futility Bowl

***THEY SAID IT***
" Winnipeg's new football Stadium reportedly has 150 seats with obstructed views. Having watched the 2012 Bombers, that's not nearly enough."  -- RJ Currie
"Got to love polls – sports version. Stanford, #15 with the AP college football rankings – beat Colorado 48 to ZERO. And was dropped to #16."  -- Janice Hough
" Steve Spurrier says the Kansas City Chiefs could beat several college teams."   -- SportsPickle.com
 "Coaches in Florida were busted for betting on kid-football games: "Players shouldn't be asked to shave points until they can actually shave."  -- Jim Barach, WCHS-TV, Charleston
"Washington, D.C. is hoping to return to some semblance of normalcy after the election. The Redskins, alas, are already there."  -- Janice Hough
"Jets QB Mark Sanchez and actress Eva Longoria have split up. Or as his receivers prefer to call it, getting some separation."  -- Dwight Perry
"How about the Giants' Pablo Sandoval? In the game last night, he had three home runs and a single. And today Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees said, "You can do that?"  -- David Letterman

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Friday, November 02, 2012

NO GAMES TODAY

...on the field, that is. There is plenty going on in the board rooms, the locker rooms and the court rooms.

##  In the front offices of baseball teams across the country, General Managers are starting to form their off-season strategies. Most teams are checking scouting reports, the Dodgers are checking bank accounts.

## The Boston Red Sox are reportedly looking to trade Jacoby Ellsbury, drop negotiations with David Ortiz and use Dustin Pedroia at shortstop AND 2nd base at the same time. The plan is to use the money that is saved to hire an actual big league manager.

## Curt Schilling has been sued by the state of Rhode Island for $100 million dollars after  his video game company went bankrupt after failing to repay a $75 million loan from the state. Schilling was quoted as saying the suit was strictly political after he called Gov. Lincoln Chafee a "buffoon" and "a dunce of epic proportions."  Boy, some people are sure sensitive.

## Syracuse University won it's first basketball game of the season, beating Division II Pace University 99-63. In an attempt to keep the final score reasonable, Coach Jim Boeheim used cheerleaders for the final 10 minutes. Setters' head coach, Jim Harter, said his players tried hard, but were confused by all the pom-poms.

## The Miami Marlins have hired former Marlin's player, Mike Redmond, to manage the club for the next three years  or until owner Jeffrey Loria gets tired of him. The transition to Redmond after Ozzie Guillen's antics, should be seamless as Redmond once took batting practice naked for 3 days in a row to inspire to snap a slump. Which gives new meaning to the phrase "letting it all hang out."

## Since the power is out at their hotel due to Hurricane Sandy, the Pittsburgh Steelers are flying into New Jersey on Sunday morning for a 4:00 PM game with the Giants. Here's hoping the airline loses those hideous "Bee" uniforms. 

THEY SAID IT
"A Sports Illustrated poll has named Tim Tebow the NFL's most overrated player. A similar poll of women said Jets starting quarterback Mark Sanchez is the most over-dated."  -- RJ Currie
"A guy walks up to the bar and orders 12oz of flat beer in a plastic cup and insists on paying $9 for it. The bartender asks “Are you crazy?”. The customer says “No, I just miss going to NHL games”.  -- TC Chong
"Brian Cashman spotted signing players in middle of Giants victory parade."  -- TheOnion.com
"Edenbridge, a town in southeast England, plans to burn a 30-foot replica of disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong in effigy as part of its annual Guy Fawkes Day celebration. Adding further insult, safety officials are calling it a chemical fire."  -- Dwight Perry
 "Thursday night, I had a Trick-or-Treater ring my doorbell at 11 p.m. I said, "Halloween was last night. You're 24 hours late. Who are you supposed to be, anyway?"  He said, "The cable guy."  --  Brad Dickson
"Gaylord Perry threw out a ceremonial first pitch on Wednesday's World Series game. The home plate umpire noticed there was so much moisture on the ball, he almost called a rain delay."  -- TC Chong
"The NFL is investigating whether San Diego receivers used an illegal sticky substance on their hands against the Broncos, but proving it might be difficult. Heck, the Chargers couldn't even hang on to a 24-0 halftime lead."  -- Dwight Perry
" WWE rassler C M Punk accidentally slugged a spectator: Ironically, this was the only fan who left the arena thinking that pro wrestling is real."  -- Brad Dickson
"The most unpopular jersey in the New England area belongs to Ochocinco. I noticed his Patriots jerseys were in a Reduced to Clear rack for $20. So I picked one up, the clerk came over and thanked me, then he handed me 20 bucks."  -- TC Chong

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Thursday, November 01, 2012

Hurricane Sandy


Best wishes to everyone touched by hurricane Sandy. The loss of life and the enormous path of destruction are tragic. A donation, regardless of the size, to an organization central to responding to this disaster will touch, and may well save, lives.

There are many from which to choose. Please help.