I’ve been scouting the
media for off-season Yankee info. Tough to find. Oh, the Food Channel is
running a documentary on Derek Jeter, MedMD has a dedicated A-Rod page and the
Social Security Administration has provided the Yankee roster with a dedicated login.
The only other reference to a Yankee move is the fictionalized chiller on the
Horror Channel. You know, the one about the Yankees offering Kevin Youkilis $12
million to play third base. Can you believe that some people think this is
actually true? Hilarious.
Then again, the relative
absence of the Yankees in this year’s horse trading may not be a bad thing.
With few exceptions the available talent pool was pretty shallow and Hamilton
and Grienke, the best available players, are not suited for New York service.
Then again, we all might fell a bit better if Hal Steinbonner was not calling
the shots (nothing good can ever come of that), Brian Cashman was playing lap
dog in another town, the team had a proven catcher, a right fielder, a third
baseman, an under 35 / under 250 lb. shortstop…
I could go on.
The following is
presented merely as blog filler (flog?) because the Yankees are currently…
uninteresting. Continue at your own peril.
The recent documentary
on the Pat Summerall / John Madon broadcast team brought up thoughts of great
sports announcers past and present. Past greats include Red Barber, Dizzy Dean,
Curt Gowdy, and Chris “He faked him out of his jock!” Schenkel. Now, the more
broadcast sports I watch, the more often the Mute button is used.
I thought that sports
broadcasting had hit an historic low when Frank Gifford, Don Meridith, and
Howard Cossell were teamed up for Monday Night Football. Frank was a fine
fellow but dull as a bag of doorknobs. Dandy Don was either 1) distracted, 2)
distracting, 3) manic, 4) confused, 5) irrelevant, 6) dumb as a bag of
doorknobs, or 7) all of the above. Howard was a pompous ass. Ah, but today’s
lot of talking heads has far exceeded the banalities of the aforementioned.
Try watching a Joe Buck
/ Tim McCarver broadcast without setting you hair on fire. It can’t be done. At
least when Buck is paired with Troy Aikman in football, everyone is nodding off
by the middle of the second quarter.
I could go on and on and
on and on…
But, you say, we can go
to ESPN for pre- and post-game analysis – as well as post-pre, pre-post,
pre-pre, and post-post game analysis from the best and the brightest. Sure!
Bowhard Bayless, Stephen A. Stupid, JAWS (please shut the up). And someone tell
Chris McHenry (could she be a droid?) its OK to move a muscle, any muscle,
while on the set. Tedy Bruschi makes me wish I had one or two 40 ounc ers after
listening to him. Jerry Rice loves everyone and everything (good for you Jerry,
and I mean that), which disqualifies him from providing any meaningful analysis.
Dick Vitale never shuts up and never broadcasts the game being played directly
in front of his flapping gums – and that perpetual motion gasbag is an icon of
excellence compared to Jeff VanGundy butchering an NBA game, and take a guess how
Jeremy Schapp got a job?
I could go on and on and
on and on…
However, in the interest
of balance I give you 1) Doc Emrick – you always know who is on the ice, who is
handling the puck, and he makes every game sound exciting even if it isn’t, 2) Chris
Collingsworth – no one diagrams a play better, 3) Trent Dilfer – informed, logical
and persuasive, 4) Merril Hoge – has his own tie knot.
I can’t go on and on and
on, but I did warn you.
No comments:
Post a Comment