Wednesday, May 30, 2012

AND NOW IT'S EIGHT MEETS ZERO

## There is a saying in baseball: "Good Pitching Beats Good Hitting."  I'd like to say the Yanks proved that the last two nights, but they have yet to prove to me that they have 'Good Hitting." Good hitting is not having one guy hot at a time, it's a whole lineup pulling their weight. It's not a cleanup hitter who gets three hits in a game but they're all singles and none come with men in scoring position. If I hear Ken Singleton say one more time, "He's close. I think A-Rod will break out any time now. He put on a show in batting practice," I'm outta here. If that's the case, broadcast batting practice and show a movie while the game is played.
Phil Hughes continues to frustrate everyone. He throws a 94-mile an hour fastball, breaks off curves that drop 4 feet and gets hit all over the park. After the game, Girardi will say, "I thought he pitched pretty good."   Yeah, I'm sure the Angels thought so, too. The Yanks need to take tonight's game if they're going to reach the four-win goal. I think they're ready to break out.  ...out of town, that is.

***HOW TO BEAT A SHIFT***
"This is how David Ortiz is dealing with the shift (from ESPN Stats & Info): Ortiz had three extra-base hits Tuesday, all of which were hit to the left of second base bag. Fourteen of Ortiz's 18 doubles this season have been to left field or left center, and 12 of the 14 have come at home at Fenway Park. Ortiz has 35 hits this season to the left of second base, most by any left-handed hitter."  Buster Olney 

## Who was that masked man? He's hitting .376 with an on-base pct. of .420. He leads the Majors in hits and has 50 hits in the month of May...so far. His name is Melky Cabrera.

## Okay, help is on the way. The Yanks have signed a pitcher off the waiver wire. His name is Ryota Igarashi. Who, you say? He's 33 years old, played in 80 games in the majors, mostly with the Mets and has an ERA of .617 and a WHIP of 1.78. Who, indeed. He's going to Scranton, who I hear, needs a bullpen catcher and Ryota has been promised a tryout. He can throw the ball in the mid-nineties, so he should be able to warm guys up pretty quickly.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Dario Franchitti averaged 167.7 mph in winning his third Indianapolis 500: "If you were married to Ashley Judd, you'd hurry home, too."  --  Jerry Perisho
"Packers receiver Donald Driver said winning "Dancing with the Stars" was about the same as winning a Super Bowl. What? "To win the Super Bowl, you have to get past Ray Lewis, to take 'Dancing with the Stars,' Driver had to defeat the guy who played Urkel."  -- Brad Dickson
" Oklahome City Thunder fans stand at the beginning of every game until the Thunder scores. Fans in Pittsburgh tried this at PNC Park but abandoned the practice after several perished waiting for the Pirates to score."  -- Norman Chad
"Bud Selig said he doesn't think more TV replay is needed, at least not right now. Translation:  the Yankees don't want it."  -- Janice Hough
"The Olympic flame arrived in Britain from Greece Friday. It was sent C. O.D."   --  Torben Rolfsen

CP-

Monday, May 28, 2012

SIX MEETS FIVE

## Tonight, the Angels, on a six-game winning streak, host the Yankees, who have their own five-game winning streak. The Angels will start Jered Weaver, who is having a Cy Young type year, against Phil Hughes, who is not.  Actually, Hughes has pitched very well recently, but Weaver has been outstanding all year.

## Kuroda pitched his best game of the year yesterday, completing a sweep of the A's. Mark Teixeira continued his hot hitting and the Yanks rode a monster shot by Andru Jones to a 2-0 victory. New York has looked helpless all year but seems to finally put it all together. They'll need it against the Angels.

## The National League East is completely upside down. Last year at this time, the standings read, Philadelphia, Miami, Atlanta, New York and Washington, in that order. Today, it's Washington, New York, Miami and Philadelphia. In addition, Baltimore leads the AL East and Cleveland is atop the AL Central. What is happening?

## What did he say? Derek Jeter discussed the Yanks current winning streak in an interview with YES network yesterday: "When things are going poorly it's usually not as bad as it looks. When things are going good, you're always that good."  You figure it out.
Mark Teixeira was no different. "I'd rather hit 39 home runs than 20 or 15. I would rather drive in 111 runs that 80, so I'm going to be more aggressive." I would say the speech writer position for the Yankees is available.

## The Red Sox failed again to rise above .500, losing to the Tampa Bay Rays 4-3, on a ninth inning two-run homer by Sean Rodriquez. The Rays were actually dancing in the clubhouse after the game and Joe Maddon commented, "We're a lot of fun when we win." Most teams are, Joe. Bobby Valentine was an enigma, as usual. After Alfedo Aceves blew another save, Bobby had this to say,"His control has been pinpoint, those pitches were just a little off." 10 walks in 22 innings is not exactly 'pinpoint,' Valentine.

## Somebody's not paying attention. DeMaurice Smith, executive director of the NFL Players Association, has instituted a lawsuit against the NFL, charging the owners with collusion in 2010 by establishing a secret salary cap against the players. It sounds like he's in there protecting the players, doesn't it? However, the agreement he signed with the owners last year, specifically prohibits the Players Association from suing the NFL for anything that occurred previously to the new agreement. I wonder if Commissioner Roger Goodell has been able to stop laughing yet.

## I've been 'forced' to listen to part of the Yankee games on YES Radio lately. Never again. John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman go on and on about everything but the game in front of them. They discuss why they think teams are doing well or playing badly, why Teixeira is slumping, what players are slumping and why, and even to discussing the quality of Waldman's home-made chicken soup. One Yankee batter made an out before Sterling even told us who was up. I tuned in in the middle of the game and I had to wait till the end of the half-inning to find out the score. Even Phil Rizzuto wasn't this bad. On the TV, there is a little box that tells us the score, the outs, the count and how many on base. With Sterling & Waldman, I don't even know who's playing.

***THEY SAID IT***
"From MLB: No decision on the A's, no decision on the future of the DH, no decision on Pete Rose. Bur Bud Sekig and his crew are about to make a momentous decision on banning the move where the pitcher bluffs a pickoff throw to third and wheels and bluffs to first."  -- Scott Ostler
"The Roger Clemens perjury trial is entering its fifth week, for those of you snoring at home."  --  Dwight Perry
"On the Clemens trial: "Jurors must weigh an untrustworthy witness' testimony against an incredibly unlikable defendant. Cannot confirm the foreman asked the judge if it was possible to convict both men" -- Greg Cote
"Phoenix Coyotes pretend homeless drifters at Greyhound bus station are fans welcoming team home."  -- Headline at TheOnion.com
"The Minnesota Twins, under the MLB draft's slotting guidelines, have been authorized to spend around $12 million on their top 10 picks. Calvin Griffith's coffin, we assume, just went into spin cycle."  -- Dwight Perry
"Memorial Day weekend generally is considered a sign of approaching summer. Another sign – we only have about another month left in the NBA playoffs."  -- Janice Hough
"Three women in today’s Indy 500 and not much hype or commotion. Of course, none of them do provocative television commercials."  -- Janice Hough

CP-

Sunday, May 27, 2012

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

## So far, it is for the Yanks. Winning 4 out of 6 on a West Coast trip is pretty good and the Yanks are half way to the four wins. Today they  face Tommy Milone, who is arguably their best starter. You never know what you'll get from Kuroda, so we'll have to hope for the best.  At least the offense seems to be coming around.

## At least Teixeira has awakened, hitting three home runs in the last two games. He SAYS he decided to quit trying to beat the extreme shifts teams throw at him and just go back to mashing the ball and taking his chances. This sounds good, but I never saw him try to hit the ball to left while batting left-handed, much less attempting a bunt. I don't think Mark can even spell bunt.

## Nick Swisher also says he's changing his style of hitting, too.  He's not trying to steer the ball, hitting it away from fielders. When asked if Coach Kevin Long gave him any tips, he said no, he was taking his grandmothers advice. What was that?  "Just hit the damn ball!"

## Boston and Tampa are having fun. Rays manager Joe Maddon said the Boston coaches were the most aggressive people in their bench-clearing brawl Friday, and their actions were "...a disgrace and unprofessional," among other things. Bobby Valentine said his coaches were "doing their job" and trying to stop the fight and that Tampa's coaches were doing all the pushing and shoving and were "out of control." It's a playground fight. I'm waiting for "Nyah, nyah. My bench coach can beat up your bench coach."

## Of course, Valentine doesn't needs Maddon's help to look silly.  Yesterday, in a 0-0 game with 2 outs in the bottom of the sixth, he inserted a pinch runner for Adrian Gonzales at second base, even though there was a man on third, too. This accomplished two things: it lost another at bat for one of their best hitters in a tight game and at the same time, irritated Gonzales. If the next guy gets a hit, you will score at least one run, which may be enough and if you don't, it's still 0-0 and you'll need A-Gon to get another chance at the plate. Valentine said it was a "total roll of the dice." Maybe in Japan, Bobby, not here. I want that big bat in the lineup.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Ex-pitcher Curt Schilling's troubled video-game company laid off its entire staff of 400 on Thursday. Red Sox apologists immediately blamed it on too many employees drinking beer and eating chicken in the break room."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Kentucky Derby is often called "The Greatest Two Minutes in Sports." Wait a minute; that might be Kim Kardashian."  -- RJ Currie
"After being thrown out trying to stretch a double into a triple: "I always think I'm faster than I am."  -- Mark Teixeira
"Hal Steinbrenner denied a report that the Yankees are for sale for $3 billion. Imagine, $3 billion. Do you have any idea how many players the Yankees could sign for that kind of money? Well, two."  -- Brad Dickson
"A veterinarian told CBS he's spotted golf balls, fish hooks, needles and toys when X-raying a dog's stomach. "They've pretty much seen it all, well, except homework."  -- Cam Hutchinson
"The  Roger Clemens (second) trial has now dragged on over six weeks. Six weeks?! That’s longer than the 2012 Cubs stayed in playoff contention."  -- Janice Hough
"Four-hundred Spanish soccer fans missed a match in Bucharest after mistakenly going to Budapest. When I hear comforting stories like this, I feel reassured that not every country in the world is about to surpass the United States."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

Friday, May 25, 2012

SHORT AND SWEET

## The Yanks are on the west coast to play the Oakland A's and then the Angels. Historically, they have not done well out there, but they better start putting together a couple of win streaks. As Yogi once said, "It gets late early out there."

## A-Rod slugged two home runs on Wednesday. The Yes team aired a quote from him saying that he felt he was ready to go on a tear.  Makes for a good story, but I have to wonder how long they've been sitting on that quote, waiting for the home runs.

## This happens all the time and it kills me: Former major-leaguer Chad Curtis has been arrested and charged with Criminal Sexual misconduct. Now Chad played for the Angels, the Tigers, the Dodgers, the Indians and the Rangers, yet the headline for the article read, "Ex-Yank Chad Curtis..."  They had 6 choices and they chose ex-Yankee. They could have even said 'Journeyman Curtis', but no, it had to be the Yanks.

## Brett Gardner, who went to the minors to rehab his wrist and stayed to rehab his elbow, has re-injured that elbow. Is anybody watching out what goes on down there? It's not supposed to be serious and will only cost a few more days, but I'm beginning to think Gardner needs a body guard.

## Curt Schilling has been working hard on his video game enterprise, 38 Studios,  and couldn't even attend the anniversary celebration for Fenway Park because of "business concerns." Alas, it hasn't worked out as Schilling's company has suspended operations and defaulted on a $75 million bailout that was guaranteed by the state of Rhode Island and it's Govenor, Lincoln Chafee. In a final cost-cutting effort, Schilling has laid off all 400 employees. As a goodwill gesture however, the employees were all given a commemorative Bloody Sock as separation pay.

## The NFL is going to allow nicknames on the back of the players jerseys next year.  Sounds like fun, but I'll bet there will be some abuses. Some years ago, MLB decided to do that and sure enough, some people took advantage. Andy Messerschmidt of the Atlanta Braves, convinced MLB that his nickname was "Channel" and had that sewn on his jersey right above his number - 17. Everything was fine for a couple of weeks till they realized that the Braves games were being televised on Ted Turner's superstation - Channel 17 - in Atlanta. I'll bet Charley Finley wished he had thought of that one.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Once-intimidating Tiger Woods is reduced to making headlines when he survives a cut: Woods has gone from Jack Nicklaus to Danica Patrick."  -- Janice Hough
"Eugene Polley, inventor of the TV remote control, has died at age 96. Couch potatoes immediately honored him with a mute-button moment of silence."  -- Dwight Perry
"The NY Post reports Rex Ryan has lost 90 pounds. But enough about his ego."  -- RJ Currie
"One of the Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At A Barbecue: "Hello 9-1-1? It's me again"  -- David Letterman
"Danica Patrick won't compete in the Indianapolis 500 this year. It'll be quite an adjustment for home viewers to not have the cameras tracking the car in 23rd place for the entire race."  -- Brad Dickson
"Eugene Polley invented the TV remote control. He will be buried between two couch cushions."  -- David Letterman

CP-

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

THE NUMBERS ARE GOING UP

## The Yanks broke out of their slump of hitting with runners in scoring position, getting two of them last night. Before you get too excited, consider this: the first hit was a bunt single, the second, a bloop hit to right center. That's not going to put any fear in the minds of the opposing pitchers.

## The Yanks won the game 3-2, but is Girardi serious about handling the bullpen like this? One pitcher for every hitter? Sure, why not wear out everybody?  We'll see if this trend continues tonight. It will unless the Yanks can score 7 or 8 runs. Sorry, I lost my head.

## Headline on ESPN: "DICKEY LOOKING FOR EXTENSION" I read the article, looking for a wardrobe tip, instead it was about baseball.

## Chris Perez may have been right. The first place Cleveland Indians played before a "crowd" of 15,000 fans last night, one-third the capacity of the stadium. They had no hard feelings, though, they gave Perez a standing ovation when he came in to close out the game.  Afterwards, Perez graciously thanked the fans --individually.

## Mike Tyson debuted his two-hour show in Las Vegas this weekend. Two hours! Personally, I would have lost interest after, "And here he is, Mike Tyson."

## In the (Yawn) Roger Clemens trial, the jurors submitted 29 questions they wanted to ask Brian McNamee, including, "Why should we believe you?"  29 questions when the only one  they should have asked is, "Why are we still here?"

## A jersey worn by Babe Ruth was sold for $4.1 million. I'm not sure you can believe in it's authenticity, when the only proof they offer, are the mustard and beer stains on the front of the jersey.

## Buster Olney says that Theo Epstein is working hard to improve the Cubs.  All he lacks to make them competitive is 4 or 5 young pitchers and 5 or 6 position players. Is that all?  Cub fans are saying, "We knew that. How much are they paying him?"

## According to the Brookings Institute, Dallas' Cowboy's Stadium is the largest domed stadium in the world, and is responsible for 6.2% of all global warming. I wonder how much that number goes up when Jerry Jones is in the building?

***THEY SAID IT***
"Chad, you're 68? Then you must know that Whitey Ford is not the name of the car Bobby Richardson drove."  -- TC Chong   [Thanks, Tony]
"It's such a busy time for the Kardashians right now with the show starting and the NBA playoffs, which as you know is their prime mating season."  -- Jimmy Kimmel
"In 1937, Bill Veeck planted vines against the outfield wall of Wrigley Field, to increase the property value, and, in 1988, lights were added to help ballpark custodians find chewing gum stuck under bleacher seats."  -- Norman Chad
"Lone awake juror to decide Roger Clemens' fate."  SportsPickle.com
"On Tommy John's 69th birthday: "Do young people know he was a pitcher and not an orthopedic surgeon?"  -- Len Berman
"Nearly four tons of marijuana bales worth $3.6 million were discovered bobbing in the Pacific Ocean 13 miles off the Southern California coast on Sunday. Police say they have no suspects, though three Dana Point surfers broke the world record in the 20,000-meter freestyle trying to get to it."  -- Dwight Perry
"Not saying tonight’s game five between the Heat and the Pacers was rough,  but the winner may be sanctioned by the WWE."  -- Janice Hough

CP-

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

SIX FOR SEVENTY-TWO

That's .083 for those of you without a calculator handy. That's the Yankee batting average with runners in scoring position in the last nine games. Down 3-0, the Yanks loaded the bases with no outs last night, and the 3-4-5 hitters coming up. The result: Cano struck out, A-Rod struck out and Ibanez flew out to deep left center. At least he's trying.  The Yankees have no trouble getting men on base, but they can't get that one big hit.  The numbers will fool you: Jeter's hitting .343 (but not lately) Cano's hitting .303 (with no one on base) and A-Rod got two more hits last night - but not when it counted. A-Rod is another story altogether. He now has warning track power. He thought he won the game Sunday night, only to have the ball caught in front of the fence. The broadcasters tried. They blamed the wind. The wind didn't seem to bother Cincinnati. Granderson has 13 home runs but twice as many strikeouts as walks. And Mark Teixeira, well, I've yet to see him try to hit the ball the other way when batting left-handed. Right now, the most reliable hitter on the team is the oldest player on the team: Raul Ibanez.
The pitching staff isn't really that bad, but there's a lot of pressure on you when you feel like you can't even give up one run.  Not that they aren't prone to mistakes, too. Garcia threw a wild pitch that allowed a run to score. The way the Yanks are hitting, a run is a major obstacle. And Freddie knew it, too. He was so upset, he slammed the ball into the ground. ...and it took him two tries to hit it.

## The Red Sox, who looked dead two weeks ago, have caught the Yanks with a record of 21-21.  The two "powerhouses" of the AL East are sitting comfortably at the bottom of the standings, one team heading up, one team heading down.

## Who's the beast team in the AL right now? Hold on to your hats, it's the Baltimore Orioles. They have a better chance of making the playoffs than the Yanks as long as the magic in Buck Showwalter's wand holds out.

## So far, two jurors in the Clemens trail have been dismissed for falling asleep during the trial. I don't blame them; I almost nodded off writing about it. A third Juror had to be awakened during the proceeding. I think they wanted to make sure he didn't miss lunch.

## I celebrated a birthday yesterday and at the request of Dwight Perry, I blew out the candles on the cake. Luckily, Annie-O had an oxygen tank handy.

## From Buster Olney's blog:  "Chris Perez met with front office officials after criticizing Cleveland Indians fans on Saturday for the way they support the team. In general, I don't think it's ever a good idea to suggest how other people should spend their money."
Buster's right. When you're making $86,000  a week, you should shut up and play.

## According to Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune, the Cubs may shake up their lineup if the team doesn't start to produce. The Cubbies have the worst record in the NL, 15-27. Maybe they should threaten to trade some of them to the Yankees.

## Cincinnati Reds fireballing lefty, Aroldis Chapman, was arrested for driving without a valid license and speeding. I'd love to hear that defense. "93 isn't that fast, your honor. I throw faster than that."

## MLB umpire, "Balking" Bob Davidson, was suspended for "...continuous failure to adhere to front office rules regarding escalating confrontations."  Davidson immediately ejected Bud Selig. (Boy, I only wish that were true)

***THEY SAID IT***
"Sharp Electronics of Japan introduced the Cocorobo vacuum that not only drives itself, but can talk. Lately, mine keeps saying, "If you think I suck, try watching Yankees pitcher Hiroki Kuroda."  -- RJ Currie
"In defense of umpire Bill Miller, his friend and personal optometrist Steve Wonder vouched for him and said both those pitches sounded like strikes."  -- TC Chong 

"A Michigan teen found a finger in an Arby’s sandwich. Too bad “Finger Licking Good” has already been trademarked."  -- Tony Chong  (no wonder Tony calls them 'groaners.')
"The next time Schllling rants against Democrats, hope someone tells him to put a bloody sock in it."  -- Janice Hough
"The NBA will not suspend Dwayne Wade for a flagrant foul. Here it is right here: Rule 17, Article IV: A superstar will  be suspended in the playoffs only if the flagrant foul involves nunchucks or pepperspray."  -- Brad Dickson
"Watching PGA golfer Kevin Na this weekend, it’s obvious why he’s not playing pro basketball. There's a 24 second shot clock."  -- TC Chong

CP-

 

Thursday, May 17, 2012


The Yankees will be giving away Curtis Granderson replica bats on Bat Day this year. They wanted to give away Mark Teixeira replicas but the factory couldn't duplicate the hole in Tex's bat. Maybe next year.

Charles Dickens  predicting Willard "The Mitt" and Bain Capital in A Tale of Two Cities, 1859. "We were so robbed by that man that stands there, as all we common dogs are by those superior Beings, - taxed by him without mercy, obliged to work for him without pay... I say we were so robbed, and hunted, and were made so poor, that our father told us it was a dreadful thing to bring a child into the world, and that we should most pray for, was, that our women might be barren and our miserable race die out!"

Once again, the more things change the more they remain the same.

V

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

SHORT - BUT NOT SO SWEET

## Juror #2 in the Roger Clemens trial, has been ejected for sleeping. Where's Franklin and Bash when you need them?

## Another beanball outing. Met pitcher, DJ Carrassco, hit the Brewers Ryan Braun and Mets manager, Terry Collins, pulled his best player, David Wright, before the Brewers retaliated. David Wright was not happy about it, but Collins refused to back down. I don't know what good that will do. The two teams will play again this year, and if teams will hold grudges over the winter, this incident will not fade from memory.

## Blue Jay Brett Lawrie is about to be suspended for hitting an umpire with his helmet. After home plate umpire, Bill Miller, blew two straight calls, calling Lawrie out on strikes, Lawrie threw his helmet down which bounced up and brushed Miller. That's not a good thing.  The Blue Jays should sign somebody with better aim. As Miller left the field, a fan, who had better aim, hit him with a cup of beer. 
The fan got away.

##  During the Seattle-Boston game, the Mariners put an extreme shift on against left-handed hitter, David Ortiz. Ortiz promptly bunted down the third base line and was across first base before anyone even reached the ball.  Let me say that again: ORTIZ BUNTED THE BALL TOWARDS THIRD.
Do you think there's a chance that Mark Teixeira may have heard about this?  NAH!!

## David Robertson is now also on the DL. In the meantime, Rafael Soriano is rubbing a rabbit's foot, throwing salt over his shoulder and lighting votive candles.  So is Girardi.

## The Angels have fired their hitting coach, Mickey Hatcher. He deserved it:  He hasn't gotten a hit all year.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Josh Hamilton set an all-time AL single-game mark with 18 total bases—four homers and a double. The last guy to get past first base that often in one night was Tiger Woods."  -- RJ Currie
"Chipper Jones, 40, is mad at Jamie Moyer, 49, for accusing him of stealing signs. I guess this episode is baseball's version of Grumpy Old Men."  -- Janice Hough
"A family in La Puente, Calif., woke up to find a Lexus at the bottom of their swimming pool Sunday morning. Officials said it was the wildest drive since the last time Charles Barkley picked up a golf club."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Washington Nationals are serving an 8-pound burger that costs $59. It's designed to feed eight adults or two 9-year-olds."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

HERE WE GO

There is a rumor going around that the networks are going to increase the number of sit-coms in the fall season.  Why not? It's sure working in sports.

## Cole Hamels. the 28-year old left-hander of the Phillies, will be a free agent at the end of the season. His agent has said that if the Phillies want to sign him, they have to be willing to go to seven years. Sure, go for it, Philadelphia.  That's worked so well in the past.  Just ask the Giants about Barry Zito. or the Yankees about Carl Pavano. Pitchers are so delicate that hangnails can put them on the disabled list. Josh Beckett had a sore muscle in his back and he missed a start. Luckily, it didn't interfere with his golf game.  I mean, let's not get ridiculous.

## The Clemons trial is proceeding nicely. In the latest incident, the judge has instructed the attorneys to step up the pace because the jurors are becoming bored. He's right, too. One juror has been dismissed for falling asleep DURING the proceedings.  Four other jurors immediately feigned sleep, but the judge didn't buy it.

## The arbiter who overturned Ryan Braun's suspension, Shyam Das, has been fired by MLB.  This is how it works: A player receives a punishment for violating the rules. He then appeals the punishment to the Arbitration Board. This Board consists of one representative from Major League Baseball, one representative from the Players Association and one independent arbiter. This arbiter can be fired by either of the other two representatives simply by giving written notice without any reason.  Seems fair. No matter which way you decide, you irritate somebody and your job is on the line every time. And you thought air traffic controllers were under pressure.

## The K-Boys take pot shots at one another. Clayton Kersaw of the Dodgers and Ian Kennedy of the Diamondbacks are busy throwing at each other. It started last season when Arizona's Gerado Perra hit a homer off a Dodger reliever. It seems he enjoyed it a little more than he should have and Kersahw took offense, yelling at him from the  dugout. The next night, Kershaw plunked Perra and was promptly ejected. Last night, in an obvious act of revenge, Ian Kennedy threw one high and tight to Kershaw. Apparently, Kennedy didn't think he'd made his point, because three pitches later, he threw one behind Kershaw.  Two innings later, Kershaw threw one under the chin of Ian Kennedy. The umps apparently thought, "Boys will be boys," and ignored the whole thing. 

## The Yanks Triple-A farm club, Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, isn't doing too well. They're in 4th place with a record of 18-18, and you have to wonder why. The team has the two phenom pitchers, Betances and Benuelos along with 'major leaguers' Nunez, Pena and Cervelli. Here's why: the two pitchers are 2-4, with a combined ERA of 4.50.  The other guys are hitting a combined .233.  On the other hand, that is better than Russell Martin and Mark Teixeira.

## Who do you think is one of the highest paid individuals on the Mets?  Believe it or not, it's Bobby Bonilla. Yes, there are 17 players on the Mets current roster who make less than Bonilla's salary of $1,193,248.20.  The 47-year old Bonilla hasn't played for the Mets since 1999 and has been retired for 9 years. This is the first year his deferred salary kicks in and the Mets will be sending him this same check until the year 2036. That's 24 more years. When they questioned the GM about it, I believe he said, "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

## A female stalker rushed onto the floor of an LA Lakers - Denver Nuggets game, in an attempt to get Kenyon Martin's autograph. She was unsuccessful. Kenyon Martin plays for the LA Clippers.

***THEY SAID IT***
"The Tacoma (Wash.) News Tribune says a new fake TV—a panel of bright LEDs—is a good alternative to a home alarm. It's also a good alternative to watching the Seattle Mariners." -- RJ
Currie
"The WNBA's Seattle Storm committed a whopping 39 turnovers in its 86-60 exhibition loss in Tulsa on Friday. Or as the fans in the first three rows now call it, Ball Night."  -- Dwight Perry
"So what’s the diff between USDA Select, USDA Choice, USDA Prime and Kobe?  They are just different grades of Dead Meat!"  -- TC Chong
"Oklahoma City Thunder 119, Los Angeles Lakers 90. If this keeps up when the series heads to Staples Center Jack Nicholson will ditch the sunglasses in favor of a paper bag over his head."  -- Janice Hough
"There is a lack of support for a 16-team college football playoff, probably out of concern that 12 of the teams would be from the Southeastern Conference."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

Sunday, May 13, 2012

ONE DOWN, FOUR TO GO

The season is about 1/5 over, so let's see where we stand:

## The Orioles lead the AL East.  Yeah, I don't believe it, either, but there they are. They have a two game series with the Yanks starting tomorrow, so that should give us a little more insight as to their future.

## It should also give us a peek into the Yankees season, too. It looks like their pitching is starting to come around and so is the hitting. Don't count on Pettitte too much.  He may be okay, but I'm not comfortable with him being in the rotation. Starting him against the Mariners is a good idea, though.Their team batting average is .233, tied for 26th in the majors.

## If pitching is 90% of baseball, how come the Phillies, with Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee, are mired in last place, 6 1/2 games out?  There is a rumor that the Phils are quietly shopping Hamels and Shane Victorino.  Don't believe it.

## The Rangers are having Josh Hamilton fitted for his Triple Crown. Don't put any money on this one, either. There have only been 14 in MLB history, the last one in 1967, by Carl Yastremski.  Let's not forget that two weeks ago, Matt Kemp was also a shoo-in for the triple crown and currently, he's not the leader in any of the three categories. In spite of his current statistics, Hamilton has only walked 13 times so far this year. His scouting report says he tends to swing at everything, so why are pitchers throwing him strikes?

## Brett Gardner? Oh yeah, he plays left field , when he's not hurt. In the meantime, Raul Ibanez is hitting .287 with 7 homers and 21 RBIs. That's a pace for 34 homers and 103 RBIs. He's not close to being the fielder that Gardner is, but that's a big bat.

## In the five games since he hit his only home run this season, Albert Pujols is 4-21 with no homers and 2 RBIs. His slump is not over.

## In the Orioles/Rays game yesterday, the two teams made 7 errors -- and Eduardo Nunez wasn't even in the game.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE WONDERFUL LADIES OUT THERE.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Josh Hamilton set an all-time AL single-game mark with 18 total bases—four homers and a double. The last guy to get past first base that often in one night was Tiger Woods."  -- RJ Currie
"Shaquille O'Neal earned a doctoral degree in education in 4 1/2 years. He would have gotten it sooner, but part of his thesis including having to shoot 10 free throws and make five."  -- Jim Barach
"Former Saints lineman Anthony Hargove apparently said in his statement that he was told to "play dumb" about the bounty program. Telling an NFL player to play dumb? Now there's a stretch."  -- Janice Hough
"Nationals teen phenom Bryce Harper wound up with 10 stitches in his face after a bat-swinging tantrum in a clubhouse tunnel. Immediately questioned and released: Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels and the entire Saints defense."  -- Dwight Perry
"They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish, and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel."  -- Craig Ferguson
"There was a bizarre incident during the Lakers-Nuggets game, when a woman took about 17 steps onto the court. NBA refs were prepared to call walking if she took an 18th step."  -- Brad Dickson
"It's reported that the Dallas Mavericks are getting rid of Lamar Odoms, due to a lack of passion. Rumor has it Odom's official response after hearing this was, "Whatever."  -- Brad Dickson
"Tiger made the cut at The Players Championship. Elin thinks they named this tournament in his honor."  -- TC Chong
"Terrell Owens was on the Dr. Phil show stating that he is almost bankrupt and unable to pay child support to his four children from four different mothers: T.O. should attempt a comeback — in the NBA."  -- TC in BC

CP-

Saturday, May 12, 2012

HARD TO BELIEVE

Sometimes you just have to shake your head and wonder --

## The Red Sox dumped a pretty good manager in part, because he was "too soft." In reality, I think everyone knew that the Red Sox had too many arrogant players, who didn't think they had to follow the rules. So Boston went out and hired a strong personality, a disciplinarian, who would set things right.  Their choice: Bobby Valentine. How's that working out?
Not well. Valentine was willing to pick on the newcomers, the less senior players. The ones who weren't the leaders of the team. Oh, he talked a good fight, but in the end, that's all it turned out to be: talk. You have Pedroia, criticising the manager, an issue that Valentine never even addressed. Now you have Beckett, playing golf after missing a start because of injury, and insisting that he was in the right. First, Valentine claimed ignorance of the situation, then he downplayed it and finally did nothing. 
The Sox are playing badly, have no leadership and obviously, no discipline. You're doing a fine job, Bobby.

## Speaking of Beckett, his main argument is that he can do whatever he wants on his "off-day." He says he only gets 18 of them, and no one should question how he uses them. He gets only 18 days off?  Now wait a minute. The regular season lasts about 180 days, give or take a few,and he gets 32 starts a season. In my math classes, we would say that leaves 140+ days when his only responsibility is to do a little throwing, do a little running, drink beer and eat fried chicken. I'd call that an off-day.  He doesn't get the fact that his sin is not in actually playing golf, but that he played a sport when he couldn't perform his regular, well-paid job, because he was "injured."  Of course, Valentine is nowhere around to explain it to him.

## It's official now. The Yankees can all go home now. They're out of the chase to make the playoffs. Nomar Garciaparra has declared that New York has no chance to make the playoffs because Mariano Rivera is done for the year. Sorry, Yankee fans.  Joe Morgan, Stephen Smith, Tim McCarver and Skip Bayless, move over. There's a new member of the "Clueless Club."

## This one's really hard to believe. Mesa Prep was declared winners of the Arizona State High School Baseball Championships, when their opponent in the final game, Our Lady of Sorrows, forfeited. Why, you ask? Because Mesa Prep had a (gasp!) girl on the team. A pretty good one, too.  Apparently, it's a school rule at Our Lady of Sorrows, that there can be no co-ed sports teams. To quote Danica Patrick, "It takes a lot of ovaries to stand up for your principles like that."  Ovaries, maybe. Brains, nope.

On a bright note, Happy Birthday to Yogi Berra, who is 87 today. He supposedly said a lot of crazy things in his time, but nothing was as dumb as the people mentioned in this posting.

***THEY SAID IT***
"A woman who interrupted Game 4 of the Lakers-Nuggets series. She had no business being on the court during an NBA playoff game. Of course, a couple days ago they were saying that about the Knicks."  -- Brad Dickson
"The judge in the Roger Clemens case told lawyers to pick up the pace. Good thing Mike Hargrove isn't on trial."  -- Bill Littlejohn [For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Hargrove, his baseball nickname was "The Human Rain Delay" because of the amount of time he took to get ready to hit - before every pitch.]
"John Marinatto resigned as Big East commissioner on Monday. Marinatto knew it was time to go the instant he awoke in a cold sweat and couldn't remember whether he was heading up the Big East, Mountain West or Conference USA."  -- Dwight Perry
"Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels was suspended and fined for beaning rookie Bryce Harper on purpose. On the plus side, the New Orleans Saints have made Cole an honourary captain.’’  -- TC in BC
"Local Hastings Park BC Jockey Mario Gutierrez won the Kentucky Derby this past weekend. Us racing fans here in BC celebrated by Having Another, & Another & Another. I left just before it was my round.  -- Tony Chong"Canadian Jolene Van Vugt set a speed record in Australia by driving 75 kph on a motorized toilet. The lady isn't kidding when she says she's really gotta go."  -- RJ Currie
"Pitcher Josh Beckett missed a start for the Red Sox due to a golf related matter. The Boston Bruins wouldn’t let him play through" -- TC in BC

 CP-

Friday, May 11, 2012

A LOT OF BASES TO COVER

## The Yanks had their first taste of life without Mo on Wednesday. We watched Robertson blow a ninth inning 1-0 lead in a big way, loading the bases, giving up one run and then a 3-run blast, to turn the game over to the Rays. Soriano was better on Thursday, but he still gave up a run. I think they would be better off using Soriano  and fitting in Robertson when there was a little cushion.
They have to solve this one now. You can't say the Yanks aren't doing everything they can for Rivera. He saw at least four different doctors, had x-Rays and MRIs. They did everything but send him to Lourdes.
## Joe Maddon is leading the league in extreme shifts and it's working. Other teams, including the Yanks, are starting to use it, but not to the extent that Maddon does. And, it works. The Yanks had a number of hits 'stolen' by those shifts, so something has to change. These shifts rely on the fact that the hitters won't change the way they hit (Notice that I refuse to say "can't") and that's what makes them effective. Not only that, A-Rod is on third with two outs and Swisher at bat, hitting left-handed. The third baseman was stationed at least thirty feet away, and the pitcher was going into a wind-up. Did A-Rod steal home? Nope! That's the way to make Maddon look like a genius. These guys are major league hitters.  If they can't hit the other way, then spend 8 or 10 hours in the batting cage and LEARN. If you can't make that adjustment, I know a nice motel in Scranton.  Start a rally, drive in some runs, steal some easy bases and Maddon stops these shifts.
## The Clemens trial is going well - for Clemens.  What is it with these prosecutors?  I think they have Roger dead to rights and their own witnesses are proving the defense's case. The same thing happened with OJ. 
## The yanks have made the fewest errors in the majors - 12. It doesn't mean you're the best defensive team, it just means you catch what you can get to.  Except for Eduardo Nunez.  He has 4 of the Yanks 12 errors. It's pretty bad when the guy you used to use as a defensive replacement gets replaced himself - in the 6th inning yet. You could see the Rays hitters trying to hit balls to him for three innings.  Is that what you would call a Negative Defensive Shift?
## It seems that baseball is going to eliminate the fake-to-third, check-at-first play by pitchers. First of all, it appears to me that it violates the  "can't deceive the runner" rule. Secondly, it only works on rare occasions, when the runner on first is asleep  (or is Nunez).  I'm in favor of it's elimination simply because I can no longer stand Michael Kay's "Ah, the old Jeff  Nelson."
## The Red Sox are at it again. Josh Beckett missed a turn because of a sore back, but that didn't deter him from going golfing the next day. Of course, it got leaked and he was pestered with questions, which he dismissed. His position was that it was his day off and what he did on his day off was nobody's business.  Yeah, right! Boston is paying him a half a million dollars a start so I think they have every right to question how he deals with his body. Surprisingly, most of the ESPN analysts back Beckett, saying it was a non-issue and no big deal, etc. If the Sox were leading the league (they're not), if Beckett was pitching well (he's not) and Boston hadn't folded like an accordion last year (they did), maybe it wouldn't be a problem.  Bobby Valentine "...knew nothing about it," of course. Beckett is just too arrogant for his own good.  Last year, he was able to get bombed twice in one day: once on the field and then again in the clubhouse. Now he's limited to once and I think it's making him surly.
And I'm enjoying every minute.
## Vod has asked where Kim Jones went. Well Vod, I understand that the Yanks made several offers for her to stay, but she decided to pursue other options. I think she has signed on to do "Bowling for Dollars."

***THEY SAID IT***
"The population in Amarillo has stayed the same over the last 50 years — every time some woman gets pregnant, some man leaves town.”  -- poker player Amarillo Slim
"Chess needs a dress code like Switzerland needs a navy."  -- Norman Chad
"Will there be an OPENLY gay male pro athlete in one of the major U.S. sports in the next 20 years? And if so, what sport? How about basketball? Because sooner or later someone’s going to notice the one guy who does not have 9 children by 7 mothers."  -- Michael Duca
"Robert Griffin III, the Redskins' rookie QB, has taken steps to trademark "RGIII" and "RG3," ChangeLegal.com reported. The Indianapolis Colts, not to be outdone, immediately declared first dibs on "LOL."  -- Dwight Perry
"A poll says that one in seven people worldwide think the world will end during their lifetime. The other six think are waiting for a sign of the apocalypse. Like the Cubs winning the World Series."  -- Jim Barach
"The presidential candidates are talking about the need to spend taxpayer money wisely. I Agree. All taxpayer money should be set aside to try Roger Clemens 100 times if need be to get a conviction."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-
Go east young fan. The most interesting races are in the American and National League East divisions, and that's where they are likely to stay all season. And only 130, yawn, more games until the playoffs.

Note to Valentine: Be careful what you wish for.

Note to Girardi: Be careful or you'll squeeze your eyebrows right off your face with those mega-brow-furrows in the post-game interviews. You should avoid dong anything that makes you any more painful to watch.

Yo, Chad, where did Kim Jones go? I haven't watched much Yankee baseball but have noticed Kim is gone and you know I'd rather watch Kim do anything than watch Russell Martin hit.




Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Good Thinking

Yankee catcher Russell Martin said, in addition to giving Andy Pettitte signs in the usual manner, he will hold up flash cards displaying the sign during Pettitte's wind-up. When asked why,  Martin said that there was a 50-50 chance that Pettitte could misunderstand what he signaled.

V

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

IT IS BASEBALL, RIGHT?

Phillie pitcher Cole Hamels plunked rookie Bryce Harper in the back. It happens. But Hamels came out and admitted that he did it on purpose, to "welcome" Harper to the big leagues. That has started all kinds of discussions about whether or not it was right, should he have admitted it and what should be done about it.

The League was kind of forced to do something, but what? So they suspended Hamels for five games, but since he's a pitcher, it basically corresponds to his next scheduled start. ...so, nothing.

What happened in the game? Hamels hit Harper. Harper went quietly to first. His next time up, he singled, went to third and then stole home on a pick off attempt to first. The next time Hamels came to the plate, the Nationals pitcher hit HIM.  Problem solved: it's baseball.

Washington GM Mike Rizzo, however, went ballistic, calling Hamels "...classless, gutless...a chicken(bleep) act." He also said it wasn't 'old school,' as Hamels claimed. It looked like it to me. but maybe because I'm old school, too.  Classless and gutless is when you hit someone to intimidate him because you can't get him out, when you don't have enough talent to get by on skills alone.

There were plenty of intimidators when I first started watching baseball back in the fifties (Did I just admit to being that old?). Guys like Don Drysdale, LA Dodgers, who admitted intimidation was 50% of his game.  Early Wynn of the Cleveland Indians and Chicago White Sox, who would throw at his own mother...but only if she was crowding the plate.  Legend has it the Wynn once hit his own kid in a Father-Son game, because, "...he was swinging too aggressively."  (More on this later)

I guess what I'm saying it that Mike Rizzo ought to go back to signing checks and let the players take care of business on the field..

## ESPN is doing a series on concussions in football. I'm watching it but I wish I wasn't.  It very upsetting to hear about players like Junior Seau committing suicide because of the long-term effects of concussions. To watch players in interviews who can't remember the questions, who need to have their GPS programed with their home address because they sometimes can't recall how to get home. It's very sad.
One former player once said (tongue-in-cheek) that the way to prevent concussions is to ban helmets...and maybe shoulder pads.  In the meantime, over 1500 former players are suing the NFL because, they say, the NFL knew about the problems and refused to reveal that information to the players. Congress should be focusing on this instead of trials about perjury.

***THEY SAID IT***
How bad was Early Wynn?
"That s.o.b. is so mean he would $^#&ing knock you down in the dugout." - Mickey Mantle
"I usually stick out my hand and hope he puts the ball in it. Except the one time when I went out to take him out of a game. I stuck out my hand and he hit me right in the stomach with the ball." - Al Lopez
Here's what Wynn himself had to say:
"A pitcher will never be a big winner until he hates hitters."
"I've got a right to knock down anybody holding a bat."

"Reliever Guillermo Mota was suspended 100 games for a banned substance.  Considering that his ERA is 5.06,  maybe Mota’s defense is that  with a 5.06 ERA whatever he was taking sure wasn’t performance enhancing."  -- Janice Hough
"The European Chess Union is imposing dress codes preventing women from showing cleavage—like no shirts unbuttoned past the top two. So is undoing a third button an illegal opening move?"  -- RJ Currie   (Raise your hand if you thought you'd ever see a chess reference here)
"Cornerback Janoris Jenkins, the Titans' first-round draft pick, has two marijuana arrests, a bar-fight arrest and four children with three women among his credits. Or as NFL talent scouts prefer to call it, a modern-day triple threat."  -- Dwight Perry
"Alex Rodriguez has passed Willie Mays on the RBI list. Isn't that like Kate Smith being passed by Lady Gaga?"  -- Bill Littlejohn

CP-


Monday, May 07, 2012

NO GAME TODAY

...But there was one yesterday, unfortunately for the Royals.  Three blasts by the Yanks: A-Rod, Swisher and a grand slam by Cano. Phil Hughes finally started to look a little like the Phil Hughes of two years ago, pitching into the 7th inning, allowing 6 hits, 3 runs and striking out 7.
That's a good thing because Andy Pettitte was molested by the Pawtucket Sox, giving up 8 hits and 5 runs in 5 innings. Andy says he's ready, but the only ones who agree are  in Al East, opposing the Yankees.  In a very classy move, after he finished pitching, Pettitte sat in the concourse and signed autographs for 45 minutes, shaking everyones hand after signing. Needless to say, the Red Wing's front office was thrilled.
Jeter continues to flirt with .400, getting two more hits yesterday, to keep his average at .397.  He's on a pace to get 277 hits for the season. That won't happen, but it's still a jaw-dropping stat.

Two weeks ago, Bobby Valentine was quoted as saying, "...if it gets any worse, we'll have to find new ends of the earth, I guess."  Since then, the Sox have gone 6-6 and are now 7.5 games out of first. How's that search going, Bobby? 

Another Yankee from the glory days of the 60's has passed away.  Bill "Moose" Skowron died in Arlington Heights, Il. at age 81.  For three years, 1960 - 1962, the Moose averaged .282 with 25+ home runs and 76+ RBIs. There was Roger Maris, Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra and Elston Howard hitting in front of him.  He was also known as a slick-fielding first baseman and played in 8 All-Star games.  In 1963, the Yanks traded him to the Dodgers for Stan Williams, who only won 10 games in two years for NY.  The trade was made to make room for 21-year old Joe Pepitone, a left-handed power hitter made for Yankee Stadium.  Joe Pep also introduced the normally old-fashioned Yankees to toupees and hair dryers.

***THEY SAID IT***
"NBC-TV had a three-hour Kentucky Derby preview show Saturday, for a two-minute race. Unless the horses started talking, that strikes me as a bit excessive."  -- Greg Cote
"The 7-59 Charlotte Bobcats posted the worst winning percentage in NBA history:  Paul Silas did not get fired as the coach, he got paroled."  -- Mike Bianchi
"The Kentucky Derby was won by I'll Have Another: Breathalyzer, I think, was second."  -- Dan Daly
"Conan" is expected to get a ratings bump Monday night when Lakers forward Metta World Peace — suspended for elbowing an opponent in the head — is scheduled to appear. Most will be tuning in just to see if Conan sits within 10 feet of his guest."  -- Dwight Perry
"Oil Can Boyd says he used cocaine every day when he pitched for the Red Sox in 1986, a year he won 16 games in 1986 with a 3.78 ERA. Talk about things going better with Coke."  -- Janice Hough
"ESPN The Magazine estimates up to 60 per cent of the Oregon football team smokes marijuana. They also say half the players are addicted to Doritos."  -- RJ Currie
"Kansas football coach Charlie Weis is having his team practice celebrating big wins. If this works out, Kansas football may start practicing blocking and tackling."  -- Brad Dickson

CP-

Sunday, May 06, 2012

NO MO'? NOT SO!

"It's not over.  I'm coming back!
"Write it down in big letters," he said.  So I did. There are sportswriters who say that this was a sign, that his time was over.  Maybe, as sad as this is, it's better than not performing up to his standards. I remember Willie Mays, at the end of his career, fumbling, tripping over himself and generally looking inept in the Mets outfield, and I'm thinking, don't go out that way, Mo. Not like that. Normally, an athlete 42 years old, losing a whole year to injury, will never be the same.  But Rivera has never been "the same." Never!
Bob Ryan told this story on the Sports Reporters today:
"Remember 8 or 9 years ago? Mariano had an awful April. A terrible April. One team hit him up for 4 runs in one inning, and we sat around afterwards, nodding, saying, 'Well, he couldn't do it forever.  It's been a nice run.'  ....8 or 9 years ago." 
In the meantime, the ninth inning is in the hands of David Robertson, who has yet to be scored on and is averaging over 15 strikeouts per nine innings pitched. I can live with that.

***YES! NO! MAYBE! I MEAN...***
Andy Pettitte told Congress that Clemens told him he used PEDs. Clemens said that Andy "...mis-remembered." Andy told a courtroom this week that he wasn't sure and it was 50-50 that he got it wrong. Well, he's right. Two statements under oath, two different answers to the same question.  One answer was truthful, one wasn't. That's 50-50 in my book. I wonder if Pettitte is considering running for office when his baseball  career is over.He's halfway there - his reputation as a stand-up guy is over with..

***AROUND THE HORN***
I'm not sure I understand this. Roger Goodell, NFL Commissioner, decides a punishment, the players appeal and the appeal is heard by...Roger Goodell.  Of course, the appeals are denied.  I had better luck with my Dad, after breaking a window.

I love the Kentucky Derby. Not the race, I love the hats. Some of them were so large, I think they had to buy their own ticket.

Andy Pettitte is completing his final rehab assignment right here is Rochester in about one hour (as of this posting).  Frontier Field sold out (10,840 seats)  in about 4 hours on Friday, when the announcement was made. They are still selling standing room and bleacher seats. 
An interesting tidbit from Jim Mandelaro, D & C staff writer.  "Pettitte threw a knuckleball as a rookie with the Oneonta Yankees but stopped because his catcher struggled to hang on to it. That catcher was Jorge Posada."  Not too surprising , is it?

If all goes well, Pettitte will start for the Yanks on Saturday at the Stadium against Seattle.  I believe this move will put Hughes back into the bullpen.  The one in New York...maybe.

Albert Pujols again failed to hit a home run or drive in a run for the Angels yesterday. His woes are becoming...Wait, what? He didn't play?  Doesn't matter, I'd be right either way.
Update:  Albert Pujols hit a home run today.  No, really! He did, honest. Let's see, that's...uh, one so far.

There's so much funny stuff out there today, I haven't even drawn from some of the regulars:
***THEY SAID IT***
"The Colorado Rockies put pitcher Jeremy Guthrie on the disabled list after he hurt his shoulder falling off his bike. Pitchers never could hit for the cycle."  --  Ian Hamilton
"There is now a paternity test that can identify the father in the eighth of pregnancy. That's barely a quarter of the way into an NBA season."  -- Jim Barach
"Anybody at the NFL Players Association who allowed Roger Goodell to not only hand out suspensions but then act as his own arbitrator, ought to be fired this afternoon. ...Then fired again Monday morning."  -- Mike Lupica
"Red Sox sign Mark Prior in order to fill a need on the disabled list."  -- Fark.com
"If this is it for Rivera, it will be the worst ending to greatness since the final episode of 'Seinfeld."  -- Mike Bianchi
"Mohammad El Akkari scored a record 113 points in a Lebanese Basketball League. Kobe said, there's no place in the NBA for ball hogs like him."  --  TC in BC
"It's time once again for that annual homage to the Sport of Kings, the Kentucky Derby. Officials at Churchill Downs have signed pop icon Mary J. Blige to sing the National Anthem. And an added attraction this year -- in the winner's circle, Willie Nelson will honor Kentucky's contribution to Big Tobacco by smoking some of that local blue grass."  -- Bob Mills
"Angelina Jolie's engagement ring has an estimated value of $500,000. Or, as Kobe Bryant said, "Chump change."   -- Cam Hutchinson
"If the Charlotte Bobcats get the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft, fans there have a chance to purchase upper-deck season tickets for $43. That's roughly the yearly salary of the workers who make Air Jordans."  -- Bill Littlejohn

CP -

Friday, May 04, 2012

IT AIN'T NO MO'

***NO MO' #1***
Mariano Rivera is done for the season and maybe forever. This is obviously a big blow to the Yankees' chances of success this year. Sure, they will miss his reliability when closing out games, but there is another issue.  There is the mystique of Rivera sitting in the bullpen like a vulture waiting to feast on the remains of any team trying to come from behind to beat the Yanks.  To be sure, the Yanks do have a couple of excellent options in Robertson and Soriano, but there will always be that chance that someone could beat them.  That wasn't the case with Rivera. Opponents just KNEW they weren't going to be able to hit that cutter. ...or the next one.  ...or the one after that. But now, a freak occurence has done what no team could do: take down the king.

***NO MO' #2*** 
Down a run, men on first and second, no outs and the #3 & 4 hitters due up. Normally, a no brainer, the Yanks would tie the score at least. Not so far this year. Outside of Jeter's hitting and Granderson's home runs, the Yankee bats are silent. Yes, they are missing Gardner and Swisher. Though not really Hall of Fame players, they are a lot better than the replacements Girardi is being forced to run out there.  But you can't blame everything on those injuries. Even when A-Rod hits the ball hard, it's not going out of the park. Teixeira talked boldly about hitting the ball the other way and even about bunting, when teams threw a shift at him, but that's all it's been - just talk.  The way Cano is swinging, I think Annie-O could get him out. The talk is all about how unsettled the starting pitching is, but that would all go away with a couple of 6-run innings... or, hell, even a 6-run GAME.  What has happened to hitting coach Kevin Long's magic?

***AROUND THE LEAGUE***
The Yanks aren't the only ones struggling. Albert Pujols has still not hit his first home run. In fact, after 104 at bats, he hitting only .202 with 5 RBIs.

Injuries are killing the Red Sox, too. They have no outfield, in fact, there is a rumor that Carl Crawford may be on the trading block.That's giving up awfully fast on a guy with his talent.

Surprise, surprise. Only three teams in the majors have a better record than the Baltimore Orioles: Tampa Bay, Texas and the Dodgers. This bubble does not want to burst.

For those of you who thought the Yanks made a mistake by dealing AJ Burnett, you should now be convinced that it was the right move. On Wednesday, AJ gave up 12 hits and 12 runs in 2+ innings against the Cardinals. ESPN has a rating system for starting pitchers that factors in hits, runs, walks, etc. An excellent outing usually rates 60-70 score.   The lowest I've ever seen was a 7.  AJ's rating for Wednesday was  minus 13.

***THEY SAID IT***
"You gotta hand it to Amare Stoudemire. Might be the only guy who went after a fire extinguisher and put himself out."  -- RJ Currie
"No. one draft pick Andrew Luck isn't on tweeter, isn't on facebook and owns a $10 'retro' cellphone without texting capability. I think I've found my new favorite pro athlete."  -- Brad Dickson
"A London marathon runner stopped 800 yards from the finish line to propose to his girlfriend. Unfortunately, a guy from Kenya passed him and ended up proposing first."  -- Jimmy Fallon
"When the arena scoreboard says 'CHARGE,' it can only mean one thing: Our concession stands accept Visa and Mastercard."  -- Alan Ray
"Stunt woman Jolene Van Vugt of London, Ontario, broke a world land speed record when she clocked 46 mph in Sydney, Australia — on a motorized toilet. Canadians are reportedly so flush with pride they can't keep a lid on it."  -- Dwight Perry
"Magic Johnson says the Los Angeles Dodgers will reduce the price for general game parking from $15 to $10. Makes sense. $15 seemed a little steep for the 90 minutes or so between the third and seventh innings."  -- Janice Hough
"The Ashley Madison website put out a bounty on Tim Tebow's virginity Tuesday, offering a million dollars to any woman who can prove she seduced him. It started a stampede. Five college football coaches came forward to claim the prize but only women are eligible."  -- Argus Hamilton

CP-