Jerry Crasnick, ESPN, wrote an article about the best nicknames. There are a lot out there, but Crasnick did lay down some criteria which made it a little more interesting:
# Shorthand riffs on actual names do not count (A-Rod, K-Rod, etc)
# When a player officially renounces his nickname (Mexicutioner for Joakim Soria)
# No John Sterling-ism (The Giambino, etc) (Thank you, Lord)
What are we left with? Here's Crasnick's top ten:
10) Big Donkey (Adam Dunn)
9) Tony Plush (Nyjer Morgan)
8) Pronk (Travis Hafner
7) Joey Bats (Jose Bautista)
6) Zorilla (Ben Zobrist)
5) The Flying Hawaiian (Shane Victorino)
4) King Feliz (Felix Hernandez)
3) Kung Fu Panda (Pablo Sandoval)
2) Big Puma (Lance Berkman)
and the number one nickname:
Big Papi (Do I really have to give his name?)
Some of the names are cute, but most have no romance and some do not have universal recognition. Not that I'm an expert, but I never heard of the bottom five. 'Big Papi' is cute and I like 'Kung Fu Panda' and the 'Flying Hawaiian', but I'll bet that 'Big Papi' is the only nickname that follows a player into the Hall of Fame. In fact, right now, he's the only name on the list that has a chance to go in.
There are some nicknames which will be forever recognized: 'The Bambino', Joltin' Joe', the 'Georgia Peach,' the 'Splendid Splinter' and, of course, 'Yogi.'
Some players belong in the Hall just because of their nicknames. Names like Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown, John "Blue Moon" Odom, Enos "Country" Slaughter and my personal favorite: Wilmer "Vinegar Bend" Mizell. Now there's some nicknames with heart.
## Yanks lose 2 of 3 in Texas.
It's wrong to blame it on one guy, but if A-Rod doesn't start hitting, the Yanks are going nowhere. Hughes and Garcia better start earning their money, too. It looks to me like Girardi has lost all confidence in Hughes. Maybe the experts on the bench see things I don't have the ability to see, but to pull him after two plus innings says "I can't wait for him to straighten out and my offense isn't going to score a lot of runs". In the meantime, Texas threw a piecework staff of pitchers out there and still the Yankees couldn't do anything with it.
# Not that NY is the only team underperforming. The Red Sox, the Angels and the Phillies are all playing lousy. Plus, Detroit is suddenly in third place. They're only a half-game out, but it means that two other teams are right with them.
As bad as A-Rod is doing, Albert Pujols is worse. Age may be catching up with A-Rod, but with Pujols, it's all in his head.
Speaking of ageing ballplayers, Is Jeter going backwards? Is there some drug that MLB hasn't caught up to, yet? Is Minka Kelly that good? It would certainly explain the smile on Jeter's face.
***THEY SAID IT***
"A US man says he accidentally shot himself by dropping a dumbbell on a bullet. He is not be confused with Plaxico Buress, who was a dumbbell." -- RJ Currie
"The Canucks got eliminated so early from the playoffs, rioters complained that they didn't even get a chance to finish training camp." -- Dwight Perry
"Lingerie League's planning a foray into Asia, Australia, Canada and Mexico: In other words, it's expanding to places where they don't understand football, but might understand lingerie." -- Brad Rock
" The oldest living former Major League Baseball player, Conrado Marrero, just turned 101. He spent the day mulling over a five-year contract offer from a desperate Kansas City Royals organization." -- Brad Dickson
"Florida point guard Erving Walker agreed to pay $301 for stealing a taco, The $301 is believed to be the most ever paid for a taco outside of Yankee Stadium." -- Bill Littlejohn
"The New York Yankees have come out with new team fragrances, for men and women. The perfect choice for those who want to smell like money." -- Janice Hough
"The Boston Red Sox have expressed interest in Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo, saying he may be better than any stoppers they currently have." -- TC Chong
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