Friday, February 17, 2012

AND FINALLY---

***ADIOS AJ***
It appears the trade is final, pending the Comissioner's approval, which will be forthcoming, as soon as they can wake Bunglin' Bud Selig up. The Yanks got two very minor league players in return, both of whom are at least three years away from the majors. The best part of the deal from the Yanks standpoint is the $13 million in payroll they will save over the next two years. That means that Cashman can now go out and sign that left-handed DH He still feels they need. The most likely candidate is Raul Ibanez, but Johnny Damon & Hideki Matsui are also still available. Most likely, it will be Ibanez because he can still go out to play left field without needing a golf cart to get him there.

***AROUND THE HORN***
Tim Wakefield will announce his retirement is a ceremony in Fenway park. He spent 19 seasons in the majors, 17 with the Red Sox. The knuckleballer was an innings eater and the Red Sox will miss him. So will the Yanks, who always seem to do well against him.

Former Expos and Mets catcher, Gary Carter has died from cancer. The "Kid" may not have been the best catcher in baseball, but he was a great leader, a wonderful teammate and certainly one of baseball's best ambassadors. The Empire State Building has announced they will use blue & orange lights (Met colors) to illuminate the building tonight in honor of Carter. He certainly deserves the accolade.

Hideki Okajima has failed his physical prior to joining the Yanks. The Yankees have issued no further information on the problem. He probably forgot to bring his arm with him to the physical. Maybe the Yanks can get back Mark Melancon, who's currently with the Red Sox.

Miguel Cabrera of the Tigers, has lost 25 lbs this winter in anticipation of moving to third base, when he found out you actually have to bend down when you play there. Word is he now weighs in at 250 lbs. Apparently he used Pedro Sandoval's diet coach. Pedro hasn't seen his feet in a few years, either.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Researchers says highly intelligent people are more likely to think their opinions aren't valuable. In a related story, Don Cherry charges up to $50,000 per speaking engagement." -- RJ Currie
"ESPN announced that Ron Jaworski will no longer be in the booth on Monday Night Football. Instead, he'll be watching the games with Tony Kornheiser and Hank Williams Jr." -- Brad Dickson
"On Thursday morning, a Chautauqua/Frontier Airlines flight from Omaha to Milwaukee was delayed after it was reported the pilot may be intoxicated. If you're scared of flying, the last thing you want to see is your pilot touching his finger to his nose." -- Brad Dickson
"On the push to make pole-dancing an Olympic event: "What, will the top three finishers receive gold, silver and bronze $1 bills?" -- Ian Hamilton
"Big Hurt Beer, named for ex-White Sox slugger Frank Thomas, will be on tap at U.S. Cellular Field this season. In a related story, the Giants had to mothball plans for Bonds Balco Brew because they can't get a big enough head on it." -- Dwight Perry
“Safe House” is out in theaters this week. A CIA agent being tracked by the federal government successfully avoids capture. He disguises himself as an illegal alien." -- Alan Ray
"Actress Rooney Mara was invited to the Oscar Nominees Luncheon at the Beverly Hilton. She had so many nipple studs that the metal detector thought she was wearing a bulletproof vest." -- Jerry Perisho

I know some of these aren't sports-related, but if I'm sitting in front of my computer laughing like crazy, I figured you all might like them, too.

CP-

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