The Nightly NEWT

As you know, Youkilis was called out for behaving like a Newt trying to take out Derek Jeter with a slide, who at the time of the slide was completing a double play throw while in an area code not shared by second base. Consequently, the successful double play was allowed to stand but Pedroia, who was occupying 3rd, was not allowed to score on the play and was returned to the base. You know, as regards Youkilis, the only thing that would make me happy would be pitchers - all pitchers - throwing at Youkilis on very pitch of every at bat (it's his beard, pumpkin head, and stupid stance-antics that are really annoying). While without exaggeration, and regardless of my enormous personal bias, his slide was "over the line", completely bush, and totally Newt-worthy.

None the less, Bobby (I love My Name) Valentine is tonights's first star! Bobby (I Love the Sound of My Own Voice) Valentine receives the coveted Nightly NEWT for his absurd "explaination" and "analysis" of the Youkilis slide. Especially noteworthy was his comment that someone had actually gone completely over the bag on an earlier slide in the series and was not called out while Youkilis was tonight. What a NEWT.

ESPN receives the Miss Ruuner-Up for Corporate Stupidity Award for hiring Sean McDonough (occasionally on-task, but that should always be easy for a purported play-by-play guy), Valentine (I Am A Gasbag hear Me Roar), and the always Inane Orel Hersey-Hiser, to do Sunday Night baseball.

PS - If Hersey-Hiser's broadcasting was either really good or really bad, I'd learn the correct spelling of His last name. But since it's always inane, why bother?

Beckett was an 8 inning assassin. And while it pains me to acknowledge his performance, Varitek called a masterful, veteran game. If you recorded the game go back over several innings and count the time between Beckett's pitches. Nearly every pitch was delivered within 20 - 22 seconds from the time Varitek returned a ball to Beckett's glove.

Dustin Pedroia has taken his wife's "You Stink!" comment seriously. Despite Predoria's claims that he is not intimidated by his spouse we'll let the home - away numbers speak for themselves, with Mrs. Pedroia's permission, of course.

Jeter abandoned "The Stance". Same results.

Teixeira cruised onto the .1nterstate with another 0-fer. Special thanks to Robinson Cano and Eric Chavez for each getting a base hit. CC Sabathia - sloppy but only 1 run.

And finally, we probably saw the last 9th inning Freddie Garcia will pitch for the rest of his career.

A dandy to all. VK