An article in today’s NY Times reads 0 - 5 Red Sox Looking for Answers

That’s easy.

Ellsbury is too soft. After Tampa Bay, Crawford needs mittens to play in the cold. Pedroia is too short. Gonzalez has too many Zs in his name. Youkilis’s beard is waaay too ugly. Ortiz is too fat. Saltalamacchia, sadly, simply stinks. Scutaro? See Pedroia above. Terry Francona wears his cap like a tea cozy. And don’t get me started on that hideous bunch of pitchers. Would you let your daughter date Becket or Lester?

I didn’t think so.