Yo, Picasner. WAKE UP!

MLB

I see that Chad was upset that the Hall asked for Strasburg’s hat following his lights-out debut. Perhaps he would feel better if they asked for the Yankee’s bat. They’re not using them so they won’t be missed. Chad’s right though. What’s the big deal? 32 Ks, 5 walks, and 4 earned runs in 19 innings. Just imagine what his numbers would look like if were lucky enough to face the Yankees – the team that turns bullpen fodder into Cy Young candidates.

NBA

ABC hit a new low in selecting their crew for the NBA finals. The play by play was well done but the color guys were as useless as Laker Pau Gasol’s latest love interest, referee Joey Crawford. (Pau and Joey’s favorite song? “I Could Have Danced All Night”.) Describing a slo-mo replay of Gasol hammering Kevin Garnett, the bozo in the booth said that Gasol blocked the shot by hitting “the hand part of the ball”. Apparently both Crawford and the booth bozo missed Gasol hammering the “wrist part of the ball”, the “arm part of the ball”, and the “body part of the ball”. Would the real WWF please stand up?

FIFA

If you needed and excuse to ignore the remaining FIFA World Cup games (football or soccer or whatever), the screwing the United States received today should fit the bill. While we’ve all seen teams get “homed”, this is the first time I’ve seen one get “Continent-ed”. Soccer may be many things but what a crock when a referee can call a foul and, by rule, is not required to identify who committed the foul or the infraction committed. Sounds like the perfect job for Crawford.

The US Open

It has come to my attention that Picasner is not a fan of golf in general and cannot understand how anyone can waste their few remaining hours of life watching golf on television. Clearly, Picasner knows less about golf than he does about the former location of Pagano’s Market in Oswego. Not surprising since he’s never been in Pagano’s and the only putter he’s played with is… well, that’s another story. While I play golf three or four times a week, the only tournaments I watch are the US and British Opens. It’s a pleasure to watch great players struggle on these courses as hard as we mere mortals flail on our favorite public links. I urge our hero to give the Open at least a look this weekend for three reasons. 1. Unlike his pin-stripped favorites, professional golfers can actually hit a ball with modest regularity. (Admittedly, it helps that a golf ball is stationary – but those of us who play know it doesn’t help that much) 2. Unlike the NBA, these guys don’t need blind mice to make stuff up – they’re required to call penalties on themselves, and do. And, 3. Unlike FIFA, cheating is not an institutionalized art form. What’s not to like?

I can only hope for our safety given the bogus bull that will be flowing out of CP’s flame throwing keyboard as he babbles his way through another ill-conceived response. (Note: it’s getting harder to motivate our anointed one to write something remotely accurate or interesting. Must be all that “government work”.)