A FEW QUICKIES

***JENNY CRAIG?***
The San Fran Giants' 22-year old 3rd baseman, Pablo Sandoval, is being touted as a future superstar. Pablo is 5'11" and weighs 245 lbs, which means he looks like Picasner after a big meal. In an effort to positively affect his weight problem, the Giants put him on a food regimen for the winter. And it worked: he positively gained weight. His trainer said, "We were doing all right until he escaped."

***BYE-BYE MANNY***
Manny says this is his last year in L.A. Must be getting a early start on his summer vacation.

***I KNEW IT ALL THE TIME***
Johnny Damon has officially signed with the Tigers. His reaction: "This is where I wanted to be from day one." Day one, of course being last Sunday.

***I CAN'T WAIT***
American skater, Evan Lysacek, has announced his engagement to gymnast Nastia Liukin. With male skaters often being perceived as "feminine," and female gymnasts as feminine without the hormones, this ought to be a really interesting ceremony. I wonder who will wear the dress?

***USA HOCKEY TEAM BEATS CANADA***
After this shocker, many Americans are declaring themselves hockey fans. When asked if they thought an American team would win the Stanley Cup, they replied, "They sure will! ...What, uh, cup is that?"

Just a side note, our friend Bob Matthews predicted a win for Team Canada, 5-2. Atta boy, Bob.

***SYRACUSE - PROVIDENCE TONIGHT***
The Orange won the first meeting on Feb. 2nd. When asked about the game, Providence coach, Keno Davis said, "We knew what to expect." When the reporter mentioned the final score, 85-68, Davis replied, "We got what we expected."

***SPEAKING OF WHICH***

UCONN beat West Virginia last night 73-62, in another Big East Battle Royal. UCONN coach Jim Calhoun, one technical, WVA coach, two technicals and an ejection. The two T's ended whatever chance the Mountaineers had of winning the game. Analyst Jay Bilas blamed the referees. During the replay, he showed the referee standing right in Huggins face while Huggins ranted and raved. Bilas' take: "Why did the ref stand there? Nothing was going to change, all he did was infuriate Huggins. He finally walked away a few steps and THEN "T'd" him up." Huggins, of course, thought it was over with when the ref walked away and when he got called, had a second spaz with a similar result. I think Jay had a good point.

CP-

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