IT'S NO LAUGHING MATTER

***...BUT SOMETIMES IT IS***
The Yanks have announced that Brett Gardner's cast will remain on for another week and that he won't be available to play for another 10 days after that. That means he won't be playing until September 5th at the earliest. To be eligible for the post-season, he would have to be on the 25-man roster by Sept. 1st. This could be interesting. At least his injury was related to the game and not some freak non-baseball event. So freaky, that players often make up the way the injury occurred.

The "story" first, the truth in red.
JEFF KENT, 2002
He told the SF Giants he fractured his wrist when he slipped and fell while washing his pickup.
Actually, he broke it when he wiped out practicing wheelies on his motorcycle. The Giants were understandably unhappy.
CLINT BARNES, 2005
He said he broke his collarbone while carrying a bag of groceries upstairs. Well, maybe it was because he fell while carrying a side of venison for his friend.
Or maybe he broke it while riding an all-terrain vehicle at a friend's house.
JOE BIEMEL, 2006
He cut his left hand on a glass while he was in his hotel room.
Close. He was in a bar. It was 2:30 AM. It was on a beer bottle.
DAN MICELI, 2000
This is a beauty. He told the Florida Marlins that he suffered cuts on his right hand and elbow in a fight with "four hippie rednecks" (an interesting combination) outside a bar after they had been hitting on his wife. One of them had pulled a knife. Way to go, Dan. ...or not.
A police report said that he got into a fight with his brother in his kitchen. Their mother had to break it up. Their mother? I guess I would have made up a story, too.
KAZUHIRO SASAKI, 2003
He missed 68 days when he allegedly broke 2 ribs when carrying a suitcase up some stairs
Sources say he broke his ribs while drinking and practicing pro-wrestling maneuvers with some friends.
Of course, team officials aren't always the ones you want to turn to for explanations or announcements. In 2007, JESUS COLOME was placed on the disabled list with "a soft tissue injury in a lower right extremity." That's right; his ass hurt. GM Jim Bowden was just trying to be "sensitive" about a player with an infection in his buttock. Then, he made this remark:
"It's a serious situation. We pray for his buttocks and his family." In that order?