AROUND THE HORN WITH CHAD

No rants, just highlights.

***DYKSTRA FILES FOR BANKRUPTCY***
A year ago, there was a story about Lenny Dykstra's post-baseball career. He was picking stocks and advising clients about the market. He was so good at it, that it warranted a TV spot. Everyone was shocked because, while he was playing, he called himself 'Dirt' because he couldn't remember how to spell Lenny. Now he was successful beyond belief, making so much money in the stock market, even he was shocked. He now owes between $10 and $50 million with assets of $50,000. It doesn't take a market genius to know those numbers don't add up.

***MANNY BEING...WELL, YOU KNOW***
Manny didn't like a strike call in the 5th inning, so he tossed his bat, flung his helmet and flipped his elbow guard. Unfortunately, the guard landed close enough to Umpire Hirshbeck to warrant the thumb. Didn't matter, however, since Manny said he he was through for the day anyway. To which Joe Torre responded, "Yeah, we only wanted him to...what?" As Boston writer, Bob Ryan, so aptly put it, "Just wait, Los Angeles. He'll quit on you. He always does."

***YA GOTTA LOVE SCOTT BORAS***
Boras is very upset with the Detroit Tigers over their treatment of his client, Magglio Ordonez. He was recently benched because of lack of production and manager Jim Leyland also announced that Magglio would be platooned with rookie Clete Thomas. "Totally unacceptable," was the way he put it. Now why is that? Could it be that Boras had incentives built into his contract based on plate appearances? Well, yes. It doesn't matter that Ordonez is hurting his team as long as Boras gets his 10% of the most money he can. This inmate not only wants to run the asylum, he wants to own it, too.

***LEFTCOASTSPORTSBABE***
"Manny Ramirez was ejected in the fifth inning of his fourth game back from his female fertility drug suspension. The Dodgers outfielder apologized afterwards, but explained that it was “that time of the month.”
"Oscar Mayer, the founder of the company that bears his name, died at the age of 95. He had attributed his long life to never eating any of his own products."

Michael Kay is on vacation till next week, so there will be no silly questions for a while. Kenny Singleton is trying, but it just isn't the same.