Tuesday, March 31, 2009

MORE PICKS FROM PICASNER

Since I seldom watch National League games, I am not as confident as I might be, but here goes:

EAST:
Philly (Only injuries could stop them)
Mets (Matthews picked them to win - 'nuff said)
Florida (A young team - a Billy-Beane clone)
Atlanta (Farm system has dried up. Trying to be like the Yanks but without the money)
Washington (First in war, first in peace... Oh well, at least they got rid of Bowden)

CENTRAL:
Cubs (Sweet Lou has the guns, it better be their year...or else)
St. Louis (LaRusso has some strange ideas...and sometimes they work)
Milwaukee (Last year was their chance. I think the heart has gone out of them - along with a couple of pretty good pitchers)
Houston (I never think they have a good team, but they always surprise)
Cincinnati (I think Dusty Baker is a bad manager)
Pittsburgh (I don't care, I love their stadium)

WEST:
Dodgers (Even if it means I have to hear "Manny being Manny" all year.)
Arizona (Don't know much about them 'cause they're hidden away in the desert, but they always seem to be in the thick of it)
San Francisco (I know, I'm surprised, too)
Colorado (I love Colorado...the state, not the team)
San Diego (I'd hate to see what happens if Steinbrenner ever got a divorce)

No promises, but I bet I'll be closer than Bob Matthews (like that's hard!)

Monday, March 30, 2009

PICASNER'S PICKS...AND MORE

At the risk of becoming a Bob Matthews clone, here is how Picasner sees the season going:

***AMERICAN LEAGUE***
EAST:
New York (Well, I am a fan, after all)
Boston (As many questions as the Yanks)
Tampa (Good young team, but I believe they got a lot of breaks last year and everyone will be gunning for them this year)
Baltimore (They don't look as hapless as they have in the past)
Toronto (Let too many good players get away)

CENTRAL:
Cleveland (Poised for a big run)
Chicago (In spite of Ozzie)
Minnesota (Too many injuries, watch for a strong 2nd half)
Kansas City (In two years, they'll be contenders)
Detroit (What happened to that Genius manager and Ultra-sharp GM?)

WEST:
California (By default)
Oakland (How does Billy Beane do it?)
Texas (They always find a way to live down to their expectations, Nolan Ryan will get them going)
Seattle (I believe he prefers the name be the Seattle Ichiro's - they need to dump him)

Tomorrow, the National League (There's a National League?)

***NOT THE NEXT MANTLE***
Brett Gardner is the starting centerfielder. He proves you don't have to hit home runs to be a force. It's been a personal battle, but Picasner is slowly coming around on him (slowly).

***GIAMBI CONCENTRATING ON DEFENSE THIS SPRING***
I can see it now: "Jason, this is a glove. ...uh no, the other hand."

***IS THIS A NEW DEFENSE?***
Matsui, Damon, Gardner, Cabrera, Nady, Swisher. That's six outfielders. Good thinking, Girardi, that should eliminate any extra base hits. And it doesn't include the guy who SHOULD be in centerfield, Derek Jeter.

***MARCH MADNESS***
Since Syracuse is out, Picasner has to root for a new team. GO 'NOVA!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

NOTHING FUNNY IN TODAY'S NEWS

A famous painter once said, "You cannot show light without dark." Pretty basic point, but it applies here.

***SYRACUSE GOES DOWN***
I don't believe this is sour grapes, but Oklahoma didn't impress me that much. It looked like their offense was just 'pass it around until we can get it to Blake Griffin.' Effective last night, but how far will it take them. Griffin is impressive: extremely agile for a big guy. Syracuse looked like they were shooting a 10-inch ball at an 8-inch basket. Oklahoma was never under any pressure to get an offense in gear. If everyone stays, Syracuse should have a real powerhouse next year.

***CALHOUN STILL UNDER FIRE***
I understand that even if he personally did nothing wrong, he is still responsible for the whole program, but he made a good point. Nobody can keep up with all the changes in an already ponderous amount of rules in the 508-page NCAA rule book. Ya' gotta love the NCAA. This is the group that wanted to suspend Steve Alford of Indiana years ago, because he posed for a calendar that a sorority was putting out for charity. Neither he nor the sorority received any compensation for the calendar. His crime: he didn't ask for permission. Luckily, the NCAA relented when they heard that Bobby Knight was oiling up his favorite shotgun in preparation for the appeals hearing.

***JETER TO LEAD OFF THIS YEAR***
Girardi has decided to swap Jeter and Damon in the lineup to try and eliminate all the double plays Jeter is prone to hit into. Mathematically, that will eliminate 25% of his DPs right away and if Gardner is on base, Bret's steals should eliminate more. Now, if we can keep opposing hitters from hitting grounders past him, we may have a superstar again.

***BOOK REVIEW***
Picasner read Rob Neyer's book, "Baseball's Biggest Blunders." Some interesting things, but most of it was after-the-fact reporting based on all these new statistical formulas that purport to be able to convert standard stats into wins and losses. For example, player A gets traded from New York to Detroit for player B. Player A's stats earn him 5 Wins-Over-Replacement-Player (WORP), while player B earns only 3. New York loses the pennant by one game, therefore they would have won if they kept player A. 200+ pages of this: don't waste your time.

***A WORD ON THE NEW STATS***
People with no lives whatsoever are coming up with statistical formulas to try and put a number on every aspect of the game. Interesting, maybe, but really proving nothing. It does not account for the individual traits of ballplayers. For example, Nomar Garciaparra was considered an excellent defensive shortstop, but Picasner seems to recall that he tended to make an error at a crucial time in the game, at least against the Yankees. They also don't seem to account for how a player reacts to a new team and so forth. Let's just watch and enjoy the game. As Charlie Brown says to Lucy, "Tell your statistics to shut up!"

Friday, March 27, 2009

THIS ISN'T BASEBALL, BUT...

March Madness is one of Picasner's favorite sporting events. What's not to like? The enthusiasm of the fans, the uncertainty of the outcomes, the cinderella teams, the cheerleaders, the fleeting heroes that emerge, the disheveled & raucous coaches and the games themselves.

There hasn't been any surprising upsets so far this year and, if you believe the seedings, there won't be any, but it's still exciting. Some of Picasner's highlights so far:

***Has any #1 seed been more unpredictable than Pittsburgh? You never know if you're going to get the Big East powerhouse or the opportunistic just-squeak-by team.

***It's funny how you can change from becoming a well-respected, under-the-radar coach to a media target. It's looks as though the press has been waiting for years to jump on Jim Calhoun of Connecticut. In spite of current allegations, Picasner believes that Calhoun is one of the more upstanding individuals in the game, and certainly not the Jerry Tarkanian of the East. It may have helped; his team is playing great.

***Best game of the tournament will probably be on tonight. Syracuse-Oklahoma. Depending on which columnist you read, SU will either eke out a close decision or Oklahoma, led by Super- ...I mean Blake Griffin... will devastate the SU zone for an easy Sooner victory. The BEST analysis comes from our old favorite, Bob Matthews, who says "If Oklahoma can hit their three-point shots, they'll make it tough for Syracuse." Ya' think, Bob? How about this: if Oklahoma scores more points than Syracuse, they'll probably win. Probably.

***Picasner has thought all along that Memphis was over-rated. I don't think the Missouri win was any kind of an upset, in fact, I'm surprised that Memphis lasted this long (Apologies to our President. I hope his decisions on the economy are better).

***We get closer and closer to an all-Big East final four.

***Okay, maybe Picasner is old-school, but... Four out of every five great plays occur because the refs allow some form of traveling. It's used to be a step-and-a-half was allowed. I could understand two steps sneaking in occasionally but three and four steps happen all the time. When is the last time anyone saw 'carrying' called. If you're dribbling and your hand goes underneath the basketball, we should be hearing a whistle. Instead, we hear announcers raving over "a great move." Oh well, I guess I'm just an old fuddy-duddy.

***GO SYRACUSE***

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

ITS ALMOST TIME

The start of the season is almost here, but the silliness has not yet ended. At least the WBC is over...except for Jayson Stark of ESPN.

***AS IF THE WBC WASN'T DISRUPTIVE ENOUGH***
Jason Stark has come up with a plan to make the WBC palatable. Wait till you hear this:
Round 1 - Played AFTER the World Series, when the players are still in shape (...after a 4-week layoff for most players - he left that part out).
Round 2 - Played during spring training (That's not disruptive, is it Jason?)
Round 3 - Played during ALL-STAR WEEK (Another new part of the plan). The week would include the home-run derby, the all-star game and the finals of the WBC. (I'm sure teams in the middle of a pennant race would be glad to gamble that their players wouldn't get hurt.)
Here's Picasner's plan - NO WBC.

***THIS FROM GREG COTE OF THE MIAMI HERALD***
Barry Bonds is still interested in a comeback: "Analysts say he is expected to attract interest from the many teams that are lacking a 44-year-old clubhouse cancer, who is the face of the steroids era and is awaiting trial on federal perjury charges." Quite a package!

***FROM DWIGHT PERRY OF THE SEATTLE TIMES***
Front row seats at Yankee Stadium cost $2625 for one game. "In keeping with the theme, ticket-booth personnel will wear a ski mask and brandish a pistol. What's next? Bernie Madoff Bobblehead Night?

***T.O. A NO-SHOW***
But the Bills aren't worried; it was a voluntary workout. Still, I'm sure some of the front office people are are shaking their heads and thinking, "So now it starts."

***CURT SCHILLING RETIRES***
Of course, his blog goes on and on. There is already a discussion of his chances for Hall Of Fame membership. A 216-146 record isn't quite enough in my mind. Burt Blyleven and Mike Mussina have a lot more wins and their entry is being questioned. ...and Blyleven definitely belongs. Schilling's proponents talk about his post-season credentials, which are outstanding and his "bloody sock", which isn't. By the way, I saw that sock in Cooperstown; I thought dried blood was brown. This was still red (Can you say Sharpie?). Interesting. Sorry, Curt, maybe the Sportswriters HOF will be interested.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

HERE AND THERE

***EXPENSIVE SEATS AREN'T ENOUGH***
Picasner has noticed, as he drives down the road, there are all kinds of things for sale in people's yards, from cars to ATVs to toys. The economy is such that people are trying to make some extra cash any way they can. So are the Yankees. They're not selling those $2600 seats fast enough (No, really), so they've come up with a new method of income: selling grass. Yes, you can buy some Yankee Stadium Turf for approximately $1.50 per square foot, five sq. feet minimum. I'm not talking about turf that was once in the old stadium, but from the company that is supplying turf for the new stadium. I wonder if I can get some autographed by Derek Jeter? What's next, paint chips?

***NATIONALS WILLING TO MAKE A TRADE***
The Nats are trying to trade Nick Johnson (now that he's off the DL), but aren't having much luck. The only offer so far, is from the Mayo Clinic.

***I GUESS THEY WON'T HAVE TO PLAY THE GAME***
Elena Bergeron of ESPN, has decided that Syracuse doesn't have much of a chance against Oklahoma. She says that Oklahoma forward, Blake Griffin, will eat up the Orange 2-3 zone. He'll have a field day on the boards and will probably score 20-30 points. If Devendorf and Rautins can hit ALL of their 3-point shots, they MAY stay in the game for a while, but Griffin will see to it that Syracuse has no inside game. Gee, maybe Griffin will trip over his cape on the way onto the court and fall on the 'S' on his chest. That will give Syracuse a chance.

***THEY'RE STILL PLAYING?***
It's true. The WBC is still going on. and on. and on. The Sports Reporters have discussed the best time to play this tournament and have decided the best time is...never. I agree.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

MARCH MADNESS - PLUS...

***SO MANY TOURNAMENTS, SO LITTLE TIME***
This from the Bimb: "Let's see if I've got this right. The NIT is for teams that didn't get into the NAACP, right?" Uh, yeah. After all, NIT stands for "Non-Integrated Teams."

***NOW THIS IS DEDICATION***
Dr. J. Stephen Jones, of the Urological Clinic in Cleveland, reports that he's "all booked up" during the NCAA tournament with guys who want to take some time off to watch some of the games. The procedure: VASECTOMIES. ("Just a little off the bottom, Doc. Go 'Cuse!") I don't think I like basketball THAT much.

***THAT'S DEVENDORF, BUDDY***
Danny Kaspar, coach of the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks, "We cant' give Jonny Flynn any easy looks. And that other kid, Devenbaugh? Defenbaugh? We can't give him any easy looks either." Good going, Kaspar. That's what Eric needs, something to get him up for the game. I suspect you'll know the correct name by 4:00 PM Friday.

***PICASNER DOESN'T GET THIS ONE***
Why is there so much stumping for the Memphis Tigers? Okay, their record is 31-3, but how did they earn that? Their Strength Of Schedule rating is 38 (38th in the country) and they beat teams like, Marist, Lamar, Fairfield and Christian Brothers (I assume without the robes). To be fair, they did win a tip-off tournament: The O'Reilly Auto Parts Tip-Off. No joke. Syracuse beat them: make of that what you will. And still people think they should have a #1 seed and are picking them for the final four. I just don't see it.

***OKAY, SOME BASEBALL***
--> USA Team is hurting. Now Youklis can't play and the replacements from MLB that the rules allow, are also hurt. Wonderful.
--> Manny being Manny again. He's being held out of spring training games because of his bad hammy. So what's he doing to while away the time? Why he's playing Cricket, of course. When asked if Joe Torre had given him permission to do this, Manny replied, "Ha Ha Ha." There you go Joe, $45 million worth of laughs.

And finally:
***POOR LADY***
A Swedish aristocrat is suing her ex-husband, asking to have her alimony doubled because she can't get by on the $43 million he is currently giving her. Who the hell does she think she is anyway, A-Rod? I wonder what she can do in the clutch.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A WEIGHTY QUESTION

This would seem to be the perfect place to discuss some of the sports world's most pressing questions, such as: Should teams have the players names on the backs of their uniforms? What follows is one such question.

***WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF "BATTING AROUND"***
Picasner has never heard or read any discussion on this topic. This is a "chicken or the egg" quandary and therefore, no one is going to be right or wrong.

Piscaner feels that once the ninth batter has had an at bat, that team has batted around. The only basis for this opinion is that announcers will make that statement when the ninth hitter appears and not the tenth. In fact, I do not recall them saying that when the tenth batter appears. They usually say, "so & so is the tenth batter of the inning."

Picasner hates to be in agreement with the sports opinion of a city that would sign Terrell Owens, but there it is.

A WBC RANT

***MORE AND MORE PLAYERS ARE GETTING HURT***
Chipper Jones just left, Dustin Pedroia got hurt, Francona is unhappy, the Mets are unhappy; the only one who isn't unhappy is Bud "Clueless" Selig. He's thrilled: he says the TV ratings are up, the crowds are great and the games are wonderful. Of course they are, Bud, baseball is a great game. How good will the crowds be in the regular season if teams have to load up on triple-A players because everyone else is hurt. You may be disappointed in two years when teams won't let anyone on their ML roster play.

***THE METS HAVE THE MOST TO FEAR***
They let 16 players go to the WBC. What were they thinking?

***THAT'S GETTING YOUR PROBLEMS BEHIND YOU***
Finally, a player who gives you a straight answer to health problems. When asked how his strained muscle in his gluteus maximus (his rear) was, Eric Bedard replied, "My ass feels good." We'll, uh, just take your word for that, Eric.

***MANNY'S REALLY HURT...THIS TIME***
He apparently re-injured a hamstring chasing a ball in left field, so it's not true he pulled a muscle watching a roadrunner cartoon. Why is he in the field this early anyway? Didn't they watch him play left field in Boston, where he became a master at turning a regular single into a surprise double?

***SOMEONE SIGNED PUDGE RODRIGUEZ?***
Yup, it was the Astro's. Why, you ask? Well, Rich Justice of the Houston Chronicle offers four choices:
1. The Astro 1-14 record in spring training.
2. Scott Boras reduced I-Rod's price from $3.3 million to $1.5 million
3. GM Drayton McClane woke up with his hair on fire and decide he had to do something and it was too early to fire the manager.
4. All of the above.
Picasner thinks I-Rod is done for. He's caught too many games and his production has declined rapidly since he was...well, bigger. He is one of the players that Canseco allegedly "trained". When asked if he we one of the 104 players who tested positive, he replied, "Only God knows". And he's not talking, right Pudge?

***IT'S NOT JUST THE YANKEES***
The Angels are offering 36 seats for $215 each on the warning track past the dugouts. Not to be outdone, the Yanks have countered with an offer of $150 for seats on the warning track behind home plate. ...at the old Yankee Stadium.

***GO SYRACUSE !!***

Saturday, March 14, 2009

MORE THOUGHTS...

***...TRY,TRY, AGAIN***
When the third base trick didn't work, the A's moved Bobby Crosby to 1st base, thinking, maybe this will fool them. Uh, the Yanks already have a 'decent' first baseman, guys.

***PITCHERS FIND GIAMBI'S WEAK SPOT***
Giambi was hit in the back, forearm and triceps in one game. He was only a rap on the leg away from being hit for the cycle. Okay, he got on base 3 times, but you'll notice he didn't hit any homers.

***TWO YANKS HURT***
Robinson Cano and Damaso Marte returned from the WBC with shoulder problems. I don't mean to say I told you so, but...I TOLD YOU SO.

***I-ROD WON'T ACCEPT BACKUP ROLE***
A 37-year old catcher who has caught almost 2200 major-league games, wants to be a full time player, NOT a backup. Oh, he's willing to change positions, though. Here's a new position for you, I-Rod: Standing Alone Outside The Stadium. Full time, too.

***HOW COME NO ONE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE?***
The Texas Rangers are going to have their pitchers throw more strikes this year. Um...duh?
I mean, DUH? Could it really have been this simple all along?

***BERNIE WILLIAMS? OUR BERNIE WILLIAMS?***
Bernie is being investigated for hitting a woman in a nightclub in Puerto Rico. Apparently, she tried to take his picture when Bernie grabbed the camera, broke it and hit her in the face. Allegedly. No truth to the rumor that Bernie apologized to Plaxico Burress for leaving his hand gun at home.

***SYRACUSE. AGAIN!***
How long can this go on? This is one bunch of gutsy players. Picasner thought they looked like they were pressing too hard in the beginning, as though to prove they weren't tired, but fell back into their normal game quickly. They also play very smart, taking what ever the opponent gives them, which is a credit to the coaching staff, I guess. Is Boeheim really starting to prove he belongs in the Hall of Fame? One more game, good luck. Then, the Big Dance.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday...

Friday, March 13, 2009

THOUGHTS WHILE AWAITING REAL BASEBALL

***PADRES LOOKING FOR PITCHING***
You gotta know it's all about the Benjamins. The Padres own Jake Peavy, one of the league's top pitchers and they've done everything to try and get rid of him but sit him alongside I-5 with a "For Sale" sign around his neck. Yes, he will make $6.5 million this year, but even in this economy, it could be considered a bargain. Giving up a 1st round draft pick also enters in to this. Good luck, Padres.

***PEDRO TO THE DODGERS?***
Is Torre trying to thumb his nose at the Yanks by bringing in former Red Sox. Two guys who beat up old men: Joe is welcome to them.

***PAYBACK IS A B---H***
Buster Olney reports that a current unnamed free-agent is wondering why he can't get an offer. A few team executives say that his agent would not return phone calls back in November & December. Picasner thinks some agents are getting a hard lesson in economics.

***NO LESSON NEEDED HERE***
In spite of some blips in the radar this year, Scott "Mystery Team" Boras, still strikes fear in the hearts of General Managers. Writer Matt Taibbi says, "Talking to Boras about baseball executives, is like talking to a lion about red meat."

***I TOLD YOU SO***
In today's column, Bob Matthews mentions that over the last 10 years,"...better than 50% of the previous years winners, repeat the next year." Someone has been doing some research in preparation of their 'startling' predictions for this year. Just post last years final standings, Bob, we'll understand.

***MARCH MADNESS BEGINS IN EARNEST***
I thought the Villanova-Pittsburgh game was great, but... Will there be a better game the rest of the year than Syracuse-Connecticut? Picasner thinks, not. 6 OVERTIMES! Unbelieveable! I think it will be very difficult for Syracuse to beat West Virgina tonight with oxygen tanks strapped to their backs. Congrats to both teams.

***MANNY POINTS A FINGER***
Manny, to Matt Kemp: "You're late. I was here at 6:30."
Matt Kemp: "I was here three weeks ago."

***IN CASE THERE IS NO POSTING TOMORROW***
Happy Birthday to "The Cas". I won't say how old, but Social Security has kicked in.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

AND THE BEAT GOES ON

***IT SEEMS THERE IS LYING IN COLLEGE, TOO***
From Scott Ostler: "At Texas Tech, Michael Crabtree was listed at 6'3". At the NFL combine he was listed at 6'1". One wonders how technical Texas Tech is if they blow a simple height measurement by 2 inches."

***DOMINICAN REPUBLIC IS OUT***
How bad is it when a highly favored baseball team is beaten by a country where the #1 sport is...pigeon racing? Now who's the pigeon.

***JOBA PITCHES WELL***
Three good innings. Wonderful. Picasner still thinks he belongs in the bullpen. He can be overpowering as a starter but he's absolutely lights out in the 'pen. His fastball is consistently in the mid-90's as a starter, but pitching in relief, he can dial it up to 98-100, probably because he doesn't have to pace himself. I have to believe the Yankee brass will wake up to this eventually.

***BRET GARDNER CONTINUES TO HIT WELL***
Picasner is not a fan of Punch & Judy hitters, but Gardner seems to be actually hitting this year. Maybe we're okay.

***A-ROD TO MISS ABOUT 35 GAMES***
It has been suggested that the Yanks will be a better team without him and if the Yanks start out strong, they'll be no stopping the A-Rod haters. Well, freaky things do happen: In 2003, Jeter separated his shoulder and the Yanks went 25-11 (.694) without him. We sure didn't hear how the Yanks were a better team without Jeter.

***ARE THE A'S SHOWCASING CROSBY FOR THE YANKS?***
The Athletics are playing Bobby Crosby (former SS) at third and the rumor is, they're trying to interest the Yanks in him as an A-Rod replacement. A better way to showcase Crosby would be to hack into Baseballs official record book and delete his career .239 batting average.

***PUDGE AND PEDRO, BASEBALL'S MINSTREL SHOW***
Scott Boras is not having any luck with selling I-Rod to the Florida Marlins. "Obviously, the issue is playing time," said Scott. A couple of months ago, Marlins President Sampson said the Marlins had "zero interest" in Pudge. That would certainly be a limiting factor in playing time. As for Pedro Martinez, the Mets have said there is "not a chance" that they're interested in Pedro. Doesn't leave a lot of negotiating room, does it?

***PICASNER'S PREDICTIONS***
Actually, I'm going to wait until Bob Matthews of the Rochester D & C makes his, so I'll know who to stay away from. In reality, Bob usually just picks last year's winners to repeat, bold prognosticator that he is.

Monday, March 09, 2009

THERE'S NO 'LYING' IN BASEBALL

There may not be any crying, but as far as lying...

***LETS START WITH THE BIG THREE***
Palmeiro: "I did not take steroids." (Finger gesture)
Sosa: "No spika da Inglish." (And we no believe-a you)
McGuire: "I'm not here to talk about the past." (Luckily, you won't be making any speeches at Cooperstown, either.)

***THE EVEN BIGGER TWO***
Clemens: "I'll sue him!" (How's that working out, Roger?)
Bonds: "Say, what? I didn't know." (The big change in your hat size should have been a clue.)

***THE RECENT ADDITION***
Many stories are starting to surface about Jim Bowden, ex-GM of the Washington Nationals. As Poky Reese said, " You can tell Jim Bowden is lying when his lips move." Bowden once held a team meeting in Cincinnati and told the players not to talk to Hal McCoy, staff writer for the Cincy Middletown Times. The players immediately told Hal what Bowden said. When Hal confronted Jim, he denied it. Hal said, "Five players told me. Who should I believe, 5 players or you?" Bowden said, "Me!" I'm sorry Bowden is out of baseball. He fits right in.

***YOU KNOW, WE DO PAY ATTENTION***
Vladimir Guerrero happened to mention that he was 35 years old during an interview. The Team media guide lists him at 34. Later the reporters asked team officials about it. The team went and questioned Vlad, who admitted to being 35. The team then announced that they knew it all along. Sorry, Angels, we couldn't get on the turnip truck; it was full.

See, we don't need actual baseball games to amuse ourselves. Sometimes, this is more fun.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

NOT TOO MUCH BASEBALL

...unless you're into the WBC. And we all know Picasner is not.

***ANOTHER PASS ON PEDRO***
Kansas City is the latest. Pedro actually pitched well in the WBC, but no one seems too impressed.

***NO RUSH FOR I-ROD, EITHER***
He had a big day and no push for him, either. Maybe it's the competition that's keeping the scouts quiet.

***A-ROD OPTS FOR SURGERY***
Looks like a 6-9 week rehab. The Yanks should be strong enough to withstand his loss for that long. Now we'll see how Teixeira stands up to the NY pressure.

***SYRACUSE LOOKS GOOD***
They played up to their potential against Marquette. Flynn was amazing, Rautins can shoot, they played good 'D' and Onuaku still looks like they give him a bowling bowl to shoot free throws with.

***PETER GAMMONS SAYS***
He's a decent judge of ability in ball players. His latest: the Florida Marlins Giancarlo Cruz-Michael Stanton. He's 6'4", 240 pounds and can run and throw. He hit 39 homers in the Southern league last year and he's only 19 years old. Remember that name.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

IT'S VERY QUIET

Not much going on. Manny has finally signed and A-rod hasn't had a chance to put his foot in his mouth, yet. However...

***MANNY BEING MONEY***
There is no better help in the world than a good agent. Instead of signing Manny up last November for a paltry $45 million for two years, Boras held out for 4 months till he got Manny...$45 million for two years with more than half of it deferred money. Atta boy, Scott.
I'm sure we all see the lesson in this... ...no, I don't!

***MANNY'S BOSTON CONDO UP FOR SALE***
$8.5 million. The Red Sox are currently kicking in to buy it in case Manny change his mind and decides to move back. It comes with 3 valet parking places: one for Manny, one for Scott Boras and one for Scott's ego. The condo also has 6 bathrooms which lends credence to the theory that Manny is full of it.

***ODALIS PEREZ IS ON THE MARKET***
But no one seems interested. A-Rods cousin is getting more offers. Odalis will take anything. He recently said he would love to play for the Marlins, but I hear they already have an organist.

That's all for today. Traveling to Phoenix today for lunch with Windy and... ..oh yeah, the Cas. It's been very quiet here, too. Vod is recovering from a trip into the Confederacy, and The Bimb has laryngitis. No other comment on that since I don't like sleeping in the garage.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

Not much going on these days, so Picasner had to search for some comments.

***THE ORIOLES COME THRU***
Following the Yankees lead in recognizing the plight of the fans, the Orioles have come up with a little promotion to aid economically challenged fans. The Birds will award ONE free ticket for fans on their birthday. It can be used any day in the month of their birthday except games against the Yanks or the Red Sox. Normally $8 a ticket, these seats are located "...in the upper portion of the third deck." So high, I guess, that if the Oriole game is boring, you could turn around and watch the Washington game, some 35 miles away...providing it's not a cloudy day. I don't think these are 'obstructed view' seats, just 'distant view'. The most outstanding thing about this is, you only get ONE ticket. According to the Orioles, most people want to celebrate their birthdays alone. More likely, they don't want to admit they're Oriole fans to any of their friends or relatives.

***STEVE PHILLIPS MEET BOB MATTHEWS***
In the race for the pinnacle of sports ignorance, this is a virtual tie. Phillips edges ahead with this little gem: In a round table discussion of the upcoming season, Phillips was asked if he thought Brad Penny of the Red Sox would be effective this year. On and on raves Phillips, saying, "Oh yes, he's healthy and in the best condition of life. He'll give the Sox 25 -30 quality starts." Good news, right? The next day, Penny was scratched from his first spring training start because of stiffness in his shoulder. Steve, don't you get sick of being right all the time?
Okay Matthews, its your turn.

***OUR SOURCE WAS THE NY TIMES***
So you know it's gospel, right Vod? Athletes, both college and pros, continually get bigger, stronger, faster and more talented as the years go by. Most basketball players from the 60's couldn't keep up with today's players, for example. But here's an interesting little tidbit: the free throw, that 15-foot, unguarded shot should be the easiest to make. Since a large number of games are decided in the last couple of minutes by the foul shot, don't you think that coaches would see that their players would be as proficient as possible? If the overall college average in the 60's was 69% and the pros was 75%, what do think it is today? 80% and 85%? 90% and 95%? Nope. It's still 69% and 75%. Forty years and no progress. Unbelievable.
It is also interesting that the worst shooters seem to be big men, such as Shaq or Wilt Chamberlain. I watched Syracuse last night and you could make money betting that Onuaku, the Syracuse center, wouldn't hit the backboard, net or the rim from the foul line. Hell, he's only got a 50% chance of hitting the floor.

***A-ROD TO THE DOCTORS***
Apparently he has a cyst on his hip. Girardi says he was a little sore all last year. Why did they wait till now to do something? Now, he might not be able to play in the WBC. Well, how about that?

***MANNY GOES TO LOS ANGELES***
It seems he heard a rumor that spring training had started. I guess he's going to "take charge of these negotiations, himself." "What team is this again, Scott?" Picasner will keep us all informed.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

A LITTLE OF THIS, A LITTLE OF THAT...

***ESPN POLL: IS GARCIAPARRA A HALL-OF-FAMER?***
Surprisingly, the poll currently shows 84% NO. Picasner also thinks no because he doesn't like quitters (ala Manny). Let's not forget the famous Jeter-into-the-stands game against the Red Sox, when Nomar seemingly refused to play because there was a rumor the Sox were going to trade him for A-Rod. I say, 'seemingly', but I think it was obvious, since every player in the dugout was lined up on the rail except pouting little Nomar. You're out, Nomar.

***TOM STURDIVANT DIES AT 78***
A decent pitcher for the Yanks in the late 50's, probably remembered only by die-hard fans like Picasner. He was part of a little known record held by the Yanks. In the '56 Series against the Brooklyn Dodgers, Tom was one of 5 Yankee pitchers to pitch complete games consecutively for the Yanks: Ford Sturdivant, Larsen, Turley and Kucks. Today, of course, we have middle-inning men, set-up men and closers. The starter only needs to go 6 innings so as to "protect" him. And yet, they still get hurt.

***BYE-BYE, PEDRO***
Pedro Martinez says if he doesn't get a good offer, he'll just go fishing. None of this small-base, incentive-laden contracts for him. "That disrespects my ability," he said. So did your performance last season, Pedro. I hear Shorty's in Oswego has some good bait.

***BOBBY BONDS IS LOOKING FOR A TEAM***
Is he serious? Oh wait, I think he means a team of lawyers.

***SABATHIA THROWS SIMULATED GAME***
Well, only two innings and 28 pitches "against" Matsui and Kevin Cash, who, I guess, were practicing taking pitches.

***THE SAGA OF SANTANA***
He hurt his elbow and was shut down for a couple of days, but he's all right now. Mgr. Jerry Manuel is recovering from cardiac arrest after Johann's elbow problem. The New York Vultures (the Daily News & the Post) were all over the Mets, citing their ineptness in the care of injured players. They claim the Mets said Ryan Church was fine after a concussion last year, even after Ryan didn't remember batting in a game against the Cubs. We were told that Billy Wagner was fine and two days later, he went on the DL and hasn't pitched since. Now, we're told Santana "is fine." We'll see.

***ANOTHER UNHAPPY PLAYER***
After the A's signed SS Orlando Cabrera, last years starter, Bobby Crosby, began stumping for a trade. Bobby better learn that a career .239 hitter with little power and a history on injuries, doesn't have much leverage.

***I THINK THERE'S A CORRELATION HERE***
It appears the most dangerous activity in baseball today, is agreeing to play in the WBC. Two more players, Joe Nathan & BJ Ryan dropped out because if injuries. If I'm a GM with players in the Tournament, I think I would be sitting in a corner with my thumb in my mouth about now.

That's all for now. Looking forward to lunch with Tootsie and the Jud.

Monday, March 02, 2009

STILL TOO EARLY FOR REAL BASEBALL

***BOWDEN QUITS NATIONALS***
And not a moment too soon. Bowden was fired from the Cincinnati Reds in 2003, who have yet to recover from his "leadership". How did he leave Washington? Well, they now have 4 corner outfielders and 3 first basemen. I suppose if opposing hitters only pull the ball they'll be okay. They let their best pitcher get away and signed Adam Dunn. With all those cream puffs hitting around him, Adam will only see good pitches in batting practice. Bowden did lead the league in signing players with aliases.

***MANNY VERSUS THE DODGERS***
Everybody knows how Scott Boras plays the game: wait, wait, wait and then wait some more. This works, because: 1. eventually teams panic and give in, 2. sometimes (just sometimes), Scott pulls off a coup and goes with another team (see the Teixeira soap opera). It's not working now because there is NO surprise team and Ned Colletti loves to play hard ball. One un-named executive says he has the answer: Tell Scott, here is our offer. We can't say how long it will stay on the table. Let us know. And WALK AWAY. There is also a 2nd idea: Since Boras always goes for the most money, tell him here's our offer; in 48 hours we're taking off one million dollars. In 72 hours, we're taking off another million, and so forth. Money always gets Manny's attention.

Picasner would also tell Scott, "We're looking at a 'mystery' outfielder." This is fun.

***STATISTICAL STEROID DEPARTMENT***
Here's another beauty: Matthew Hooker has come up with Leverage Index (LI) in conjunction with Win Probability Added (WPA) to chart the accomplishments of the Baltimore Orioles bullpen last year. Rob Neyer says, "I don't know what I'm looking at, but it's pretty." Picasner says, "They finished LAST, with the 2nd worst percentage in the AL ." I don't need no stinkin' statistics.

***KANSAS CITY HAS A NEW STADIUM***
Well, not really. They are spending $250 million renovating the old stadium "FOR THEIR FANS." The renovations include: a new restaurant, a game room, miniature golf, more bars more brands of beer, more luxury suites...oh, and more restrooms. Interesting how all this might translate into more income for the Royals. On the other hand, they did re-institute general admission seating at $7 a pop. That's good, thank you. By the way, there will be only 475 of them, about 1% of the total seating capacity. I wonder if they're all 'Obstructed Views'? Kansas City Royals: last in the American League but first in line at the bank. Having seen a game there, Picasner will say their attendants are the nicest he's ever seen.

***BILL MADDEN - MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS***
Madden, who writes (and I use the term loosely) for the NY Daily News, says that A-Rod met with MLB officials last night "...and they had questions for him." Really? I thought it was for tea and crumpets. No reports on the meeting yet, but Mike Lupica has already said A-Rod was lying.

I think both NY papers should include an emblem of a vulture in their mastheads.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

PICASNER'S GOT TO GET A LIFE

***...AND SO DO SOME SPORTSWRITERS***
Baseball has always been about numbers and statistics and statistics is just stirring up numbers in a bowl. For the last few years, writers and sports nuts have been trying to use numbers to measure every aspect of the game. They have come up with stats to quantify everything: the value of stolen bases, on base pct. (OBP), walks + hits per inning (WHIP), etc. They have even tried to measure the effect ballparks have. Now, Peter Keating has tried to put a number on the ACTUAL value of relief pitchers, called the Kay-BR (strikeouts per baserunner). I read his article and explanation and I still have no idea how that translates into the value of a reliever. You know it's bulls**t when half the article is spent explaining all the oddities and abnormalities that don't fit your original thesis. Peter, take off your shoes, put your feet up, have a beer and turn on a spring training game. Trust me, the headache will go away.

***WATCH THIS GUY***
Destined to be a first round draft pick, this San Diego State pitcher has some amazing credentials. In his last game, he struck out 16 hitters in 6 2/3 innings. According to the radar gun, his fastball reached 102 mph...7 times! His name is Stephen Strasburg. Could be great...and we don't even know what his Kay-BR is.

***OZZIE HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR***
When the White Sox played the Cubs in an inter-league game at Wrigley last summer, Ozzie was unhappy that he couldn't use a DH. So when they met up for a spring training game, Cubs manager, Lou Piniella told Ozzie, "What do you want. We'll try to accommodate you." Ozzie replied, "Can I have a couple of your players?" You'll need 'em, Ozzie.

***AH, CURT SCHILLING - THE MOUTH THAT ROARED***
Since he is now a free agent, he was quoted as saying, "I would love to play, but only for a team that is a playoff contender, like the Rays or the Cubs." Uh, didn't you just blow a shot at the Red Sox? Why don't you and Manny start your own team?

***ANYONE REMEMBER OIL CAN BOYD?***
Former Red Sox pitcher who hasn't pitched in 17 years with a career record of 78-77, has recently stated he's ready for a comeback at age 49. According to Kevin Gleason of the Middletown Times, Oil Can says he still has a "12-to-6" curveball. Kevin says, "I assume he means it leaves his hand at 12 and reaches home at 6."

***YA GOTTA LOVE SCOTT OSTLER***
"What's the hardest thing to do in sports? Most people say it's hitting a baseball. I say it's justifying Bud Selig's salary."

***LAST, BUT NOT LEAST - MANNY***
" ---------------------------" No, that's not an x-ray of Manny's head, there's just nothing to report.