***ABREU TO THE MARINERS?***
Supposedly, the Mariners want to sign him but can't afford him. Some analysts were saying back in November, that Bobby would be lucky to get more than $6-$8 million a year. Looks like they might be right.
***SHEETS LEARNING TO SPEAK SPANISH***
This is supposed to be an attempt to look better to the Mets. I guess if he gets hurt, he could be the team interpreter.
Actually, this is a joke that was written up in SeriousSportsNewsNetwork, a column that writes these little parodies.
***MANNY IS STILL OUT THERE***
According to Albert Pujols, Manny told him, "Man, no one wants to sign me." Pujols gave Manny's number to Tony LaRussa, hoping that Manny would give St. Louis a discount because "...the city supports it's players". Albert, haven't you been paying attention? Manny isn't interested in support OR discounts. Only $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
***VARITEK THREATENING TO SIT OUT A SEASON***
What is he thinking? This is like threatening to bleed all over a guy holding a gun on you. No one else is even going to make an offer. Sitting out a year basically means your career is over. He has a $5 million offer from the Sox which he considers insulting. Where have we heard this before? Sign already!
***THE NEW 'SCREEN TEST' LEAGUE***
A couple of ball players plan to use the WBC Tournament to "showcase" their talents. Pedro Martinez, who's fastball now registers in the mid-80's, intends to prove he can still pitch. Even if he can pitch, he's a prime candidate for the DL before the All-Star break. Ivan Rodriquez, who probably couldn't get a hit off of Pedro, thinks he can show that he's still "got it". If he does, he's hiding it well. I don't think he hit a ball to the left of 2nd base when he was with the Yanks.
***THE BASEBALL VERSION OF THE SHOOTOUT***
Speaking of the WBC (When Baseball is Crazy), the tournament will have a 'shootout' rule. Starting from the 13th inning, every half-inning will start with 2 men on base. Supposedly, this will ensure scoring and keep games from going on too long. Next thing we know, they'll be hitting off a tee and outfielders will be blindfolded. Why don't they just turn it into a board game and get it over with?
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