Monday, April 02, 2018

SOME THINGS JUST IRRITATE ME

Not that anyone is surprised at that. The list can be long, depending on how egregious the activities are.
Announcers
Can't they just shut up and let the game itself entertain us? Some comments are fine, but they feel they have to explain everything. Maybe the pitcher just wanted to catch his breath. Maybe he had to sneeze. Don't make up reasons. Sunday, on the Yankee game, even David Cone admitted that they received a tweet saying basically, shut Cone up. Wish I'd said that. In his defense, he does express his opinion on some plays and strategies. Yesterday, in the 9th inning, he vehemently disagreed with walking a hitter intentionally to pitch to the next batter. He was correct - the next hitter blasted a brand slam to win the game.
Baseball's unwritten rules
Sunday, an Oriole hitter bunted for a hit against an extreme Minnesota shift in the ninth with the score 7-0. The Twins were upset, saying it wasn't the way the game should be played. Why not? You gave him the opportunity, why are you upset that he took advantage of it? Don't like all these shifts? Keep doing this and it will stop.
Baseball's written rules
I will never understand why a team will "let" a runner steal a base late in a game because his run means nothing and the runner gets no credit because of "defensive indifference." You LET him get a stolen base, so suffer with the stat.
Speaking of bad stats, earlier this year a saw a pitch go thru a catcher's legs to the backstop that was called a wild pitch, not a passed ball. Why? Because the pitch hit the ground before it got to the plate. It shouldn't matter. This was a major league catcher. It was his job to block that errant pitch. I understand if the ball takes a crazy, unexpected hop and the catcher can't get in front of it, but this ball went thru his legs while he was kneeling down. It wasn't the pitcher's fault, it was yours.
More on announcers
Why are the Yankees making such a big deal about radio announcer John Sterling's home run call. He's run out of good calls. The last one heard that was any good was, "An A-Bomb from A-Rod."
That was okay, His latest was his description of a Giancarlo Stanton homer which was in Italian, no less. I'm Italian and I don't get the reference. 
I just wish they would all speak English and not try to describe things in obscure terms. Basketball announcers are the worst. Players don't jump anymore. They go vertical.  They don't dribble and shoot, they score off the bounce. They love that bounce thing. They repeat it over and over to show you how hip they are. 
"In the seventh inning of the Yankees’ opener in Toronto, Brett Gardner homered over the 375-feet sign. Soon, despite that 375-feet sign in full view in two replays, YES’ David Cone parroted a graphic reporting that the home run was “projected” to have been hit 372 feet."  -- Phil Mushnick

The YES network has a new thing: The Nine-Person Booth. All nine of the Yankee broadcast team supposedly in the booth at the same time along with all the variations on how it would work. It's pretty cute, but I suspect I will be sick of it before long. Like, yesterday. They can't stop showing it. Lighten up guys before it becomes monotonous and no longer interesting.

Outside of one good game for Stanton, the Yankee powerhouse hitters have done nothing and the "best bullpen in baseball" has blown two straight games. Here's a baseball axiom that's still true: No matter what the stats say about who's the best, you still have to play the game. 

If the list of Yankees on the DL continues to grow,  the Nine-Person booth could become the Nine-Person on the field.

Just when you thought things couldn't get sillier 
We've all know about the One 'N Done college basketball recruits, but Syracuse Univ. #1 recruit just decide to forgo his one year and signed to play in the NBA's Development League, becoming the first ever None and Done.
I have to stop blogging now and go back to bed so I can stay up to watch NCAA's premier college basketball game  - the Final Four Tournament Championship game, which will air at 9:20 tonight. Which means you better be awake at midnight if you want to see the end of the game. And you thought college was the seat of higher learning. Apparently the NCAA never graduated...or attended.


***THEY SAID IT***
"Looks like God may have decided to abandon Sister Jean in favor of Notre Dame women’s team."  -- Janice Hough
"Danica Patrick said she's going to the Indy 500 to win it. It could happen. Now excuse me while I go onto Twitter to ask  Gal Godat to marry me,"  -- RJ Currie 
"He's the oldest tennis player to be ranked No. 1. Somebody might have mentioned that to me already, but I had a hard time hearing.”  -- Roger Federer
"The Cavaliers suspended guard J.R. Smith for one game because he reportedly threw a bowl of soup at assistant coach Damon Jones. Guess you could say he made himself bowl-ineligible."  -- Dwight Perry
"Major League Baseball wants to speed up their games to attract “millennials” who find the games too long and boring. How about eliminating: The Anthem; God Bless America; Take Me Out to the Ball Game and Sweet Caroline. That’ll save 25 minutes."  -- TC Chong

"The final spring training game  between  the Angels and Dodgers ended in the fifth inning because of a foul-smelling sewage leak onto the field.  Some punchlines just write themselves."  -- Janice Hough
"If we find out that Sister Jean accepted money from a booster to steer her away from rooting for DePaul I’ll become even more jaded."  -- Brad Dickson
"Michael Strahan is to red-carpet interviews what Ryan Seacrest is to rushing the quarterback.”  -- Jerry Perisho
"Five-time Pro Bowl defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh has signed with the Los Angeles Rams. He spent the last three seasons in Miami — his old stomping grounds."  -- RJ Currie
"There's a lot of  hubbub over Dwight Howard producing the first 30-point, 30-rebound game in 36 years. By the way, Wilt Chamberlain accomplished the feat a mere 124 times."  -- Bob Molinaro
"The Arizona D’Backs are trying to speed up games by employing a golf cart to deliver pitchers from the bullpen to the mound. I remember when the Red Sox used that same M.O. and when the vehicle was not used, they sent it down Yawkey Way to pick up fried chicken and beer."  -- TC Chong
"Incidentally, Michael Kay finally may have succumbed to the ESPN virus. After Gardner’s opening day homer, he said, “It’s his first of the year.”  -- Phil Mushnick

CP-
 






 

Thursday, March 15, 2018

MARCH MADNESS - PART II

First of all, congratulations to St. Bonaventure and Syracuse, two local teams who made it through the First Four round. At least one more win each would solidify the NCAA committee's choice to include them.

Nicknames that will mess up my wife's picks:
As you may be aware, her choices often stem from the match-up of nicknames or mascots. Sometimes she has to flip a coin -
Seton Hall Pirates vs. NC State Wolfpack - Both were scourges of the high seas - and mean.
Michigan Wolverines vs Montana Grizzlies - An interesting match-up in the forest, on the court, not so much.
Kentucky Wildcats vs Davidson Wildcats - "What do I do now???"
Auburn Tigers vs  Charleston Cougars -  Well, the tiger is bigger.

Where we differ:
She likes Alabama "Roll 'Tide." I will root for Auburn - War Eagle.
     When we were on a trip down south, we stayed in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Everywhere you went, we saw "Roll Tide signs and banners. Later, We stopped at a gift shop in Montgomery, Alabama. I was looking thru some pins on the counter and Anne asked me what I was looking for. "I wanted to see if there was a "Roll Tide" pin," I said, laughing. From behind, a loud booming voice said, "Y'all in Auburn country, now." It was a little old white-haired lady glaring at me. "Yes Ma'am," I said as I scurried away.

I like to watch Duke play. She likes ABGA (Anybody But Grayson Allen). I actually see her point.

Anne asked who St. Bonaventure would be playing next. I told her they would be in with the big boys, now. Actually, #1, 2, or 3 seeded teams  against are not automatic winners against teams seeded #10, 11, 12 etc. That's one of the beautiful things about college basketball. No matter how large your enrollment is, you can only put five guys on the court at once. This makes for competitive games where you wouldn't think there would be.

I can't do a posting without some mention of baseball.
** The NY Yankees have had their wrist slapped by MLB because Aaron Judge told Manny Machado of the Orioles, "You'd look nice in pin stripes."   Baseball called that very close to tampering. Yeah, like Judge decides who the Yankees will sign. Instead of concerning himself with off-the-cuff kidding between ballplayers, why doesn't Commissioner Manfred pay more attention to improving the pace of play in a reasonable manner instead of the ridiculous ideas he's come up with so far.
** Like these changes that are under consideration.
   Start extra innings with men on base, from a man on second with no outs to bases loaded with no outs.  This flies in the face of the integrity of the game.
   Start extra innings with a three and two count on every batter. This like a beer game. Might as well have a keg out at second base. Actually, that's not such a bad idea.
   Let the managers start each extra inning with whatever lineup he wants. If you're going to do that, why not let each teams best home-run hitter bat continually until he makes three outs or hits a homer. 
All of these ideas is meant to keep teams from having 17 or 18 inning games. Yeah, like we have one or two of those every week.
I will repeat the only thing they have to do to shorten games is KEEP THE HITTER IN THE BATTER'S BOX. There, was that so hard?

***THEY SAID IT***
"Drew Brees turned down much larger guaranteed offers to resign with Saints. Nice to know that it’s not ALL about $$$. Though guessing Drew can still feed his family on $25 mill even if 2nd year not guaranteed."   -- Janice Hough
"Frances McDormand’s Academy Award was stolen during an Oscars after party. No truth to the rumor that the perp was wearing a Tom Brady jersey."  -- Dwight Perry
"About  last Sunday’s Oscars telecast, Michael Strahan is to red-carpet interviews what Ryan Seacrest is to rushing the quarterback."  -- Jerry Perisho
"Warriors coach Steve Kerr said undrafted college basketball players should be allowed to return to school, which is different than the 1960s, when students enrolled in school mainly to avoid being drafted."  -- Jim Barach

"Dolphins going to release  Ndamukongsuh. Ouch, that will really stomp on his ego."  -- Janice Hough
"Canadian skicross racer Dave Duncan apologized for his arrest in PyeongChang for stealing a car while intoxicated. Can’t recall Duncan? He’s the skier whose bib had a cup holder."  -- RJ Currie
"Two U.S. gold medal-winning snowboarders are 17. When I was 17, I’d just gotten the training wheels off my bike."  -- Brad Dickson
" Anybody honestly believe the Dolphins are better without Ajayi, Landry and Suh? It’s like you own a car dealership and your first order of business is to fire your most productive, top-earning salesmen."  -- Greg Cote

CP-
 


Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/spt-columns-blogs/greg-cote/article204717914.html#storylink=cpy





Tuesday, March 13, 2018

MARCH MADNESS

It's my favorite sporting event. Why?
1) Well, it's not just one game, it's many.
2) If you root for your team and they lose, there's another "favorite" team playing later that day (Actually sounds like my dating history).
3) College teams have cheerleaders who actually get excited about the game and aren't paid to jump around in skimpy outfits.
4) The cheerleaders jump around in skimpy outfits
5) EVERY game is sudden death. That makes for exciting finishes because teams go all out even if they're behind by 10 points with 30 seconds left.
6) Coaches run up and down the sideline getting more exercise than they've gotten in years.
7) I don't need Dick Vitale to tell me it's an exciting game.    BABY!
8) There's a hero in every game.
9) Did I mention the skimpy outfits?
10) I love the odd nicknames for some of the teams. (Can you say you root for the Hokies with a straight face?)
11) Did I mention...oh yeah, I did.

The usual comments on match-ups
There are odd match-ups that occur accidentally because the "committee" picks them by the team records. My way is much more fun.
** It can't happen, but wouldn't a Final Four consisting of Villanova, Kentucky, Arizona and Kansas State be interesting? You could root for the "Wildcats" and not be disappointed in the outcome. (Sorry Davidson, but I had to choose four)
** There's only three Tigers in the mix this year: Clemson, Auburn and Missouri. If Princeton had made it, we could have had another fun Final Four. Or a better Elite Eight.
** Some nicknames I don't recall seeing before.
     Brooklyn Blackbirds (If they lose, you could sing "Bye Bye Blackbirds)
     Radford Highlanders (Could be embarrassing to play in those kilts)
     Lipscomb Bisons (Bisons, Yes. Lipscomb, not so much)
     Marshall Thundering Herd (I understand the starting five averages 295 pounds)

More on match-up tomorrow, In the meantime, a sad note. The Omaha World Herald has decided to drop "Breakin' Brad," a humor column written by my friend Brad Dickson. Apparently, newspapers aren't above making dumb decisions. There's enough bad news in the world and humor helps us to deal with it. Mr. Dickson was one of the best at providing that valuable humor. Anne Murray sings, "I really could use a little good news today."  We've just lost some.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Heading to March Madness,   64 down to 1.  And besides the possible Trump administration resignations, there’s a basketball tournament going on."  -- Janice Hough
"Ex-Nebraskan Molly Schuyler won the Wing Bowl by downing 501 chicken wings, an average of 16.7 wings per minute — breaking the old record held by a garbage disposal."  -- Brad Dickson[I'm going to miss this - CP]
"Forrest Whitley, the Astros’ 6-foot-7 fireballing mound prospect, has been tagged with a 50-game suspension after failing a drug test. Club officials figured something was amiss last season when his errant spring-training pickoff attempt in West Palm Beach, Fla., finally rolled to a stop in Okeechobee."  -- Dwight Perry

" WWE legend and porn star Sunny was arrested on contempt of court and fugitive charges. She is reportedly in jail, where all holds are barred"  -- RJ Currie
"The U.S. is sitting sixth in the medal count halfway through the Winter Olympics — behind Russia, Which isn’t even officially here. I was pretty fired up about that. That’s like losing a bar bet to an empty stool."  -- Michael Rosenberg

"Reports are that Peyton Manning could make $10 Million a year as an analyst for Fox Sports or ESPN. And that’s before he mentions Budweiser or Papa John’s every 15 minutes."  -- Janice Hough
"Arkansas landed an inside linebacker named Bumper Pool. Now the Razorbacks are searching for an outside backer named Lawn Darts."  -- Brad Dickson

"Danica Patrick’s NASCAR career ended with a win-loss record of 0 for 191. “See? Now leave me alone!” said  Anna Kournikova."  -- RJ Currie
"The U.S. topped Canada to reach the gold-medal match in men’s curling. That’s like the U.S. beating Italy in pasta-making."  -- Roy Neese


CP-
 




Monday, February 19, 2018

BASEBALL! IT'S FINALLY HERE!

It's Spring Training, the time when every team is a potential champion - at least according to the media. Even the players are strutting about, proclaiming the virtues of their team. As usual, there will be the contenders and the pretenders.
There will be the five elite teams and the one sleeper. Houston, Dodgers, Cleveland, Washington and Yankees.will contend. The Angels, Boston, Cubs and Arizona will put up a fight but probably won't make the World Series. The Brewers and Twins were last years sleepers. This year, I think it will be the Tampa Bay Rays.
The Yanks will be a lot of  fun to watch with all the big bats in the lineup. And I mean BIG. Mike Lupica, NY Daily News, describes them this way. "They're not built to break records. They're built to break windows."  This should be fun.

Money, money, money
I don't believe it. I thought that this year, Scott Boras would finally learn that he's NOT the smartest man in baseball. Teams would no longer be willing to pay out big bucks and long term contracts to players just to get the one or two good years out of them. We made it all the way to spring training before Boras found that "one dumb owner." It was San Diego. They just signed Eric Hosmer to a deal that qualifies them as this year's "ODO."  5 years @ $20 million per year plus 3 more years @ $13 million per year.This for a guy 28 years old. He  has averaged 20 homers a year with a  batting average of .284 over seven years. Good numbers but is that really worth $139 million? Of course, we're talking about a team who traded for Chase Headly without a gun to their heads. There are still a lot of decent ballplayers still unsigned and some of them will remain that way. Even Scott Boras has to be scratching his head.

Let's use our heads (What am I saying?)
Can we please bring some sense of reason to baseball's suggestions on how to shorten the games?  They have suggested putting a man on second to start every inning after the 10th. Start every inning after 12 with the bases loaded and no outs.
They want a pitch clock and a batting clock. These are too hard to control. There are so many parameters that it will take a Philadelphia lawyer to figure out when to start them and when someone has violated the rule. You want to speed up the game without corrupting the basic sport? Two simple rules:
1) Limit trips to the mound to one per inning, whether it's the coach, manager, catcher or infielder. Unless there's and injury, a second visit means the pitcher is out of the game. Fake the injury and manager is also ejected.
2) Keep the damn hitter in the box. I don't care about swings and misses, foul balls or looking for signs. Keep him in the box.
While we're at it, eliminate Instant Replay and Challenges. There's 15 minutes a game right. there. Even with the arguments. Besides, I like arguments.  
As Groucho Marx said, “Outside of the improvement, no one should notice a thing.”

Another suggestion
I am not a fan of play-by-play broadcasters and analysts in the booth. They all need to fill every minute with words which end up being just blather. Please shut up. We can see the same thing you see. We don't need you to explain it. And stop with the "cute" terms. The player did not "go vertical." for cripes sake. He JUMPED. Why do we need so many people to announce the game? That's easy to fix. Just make the booths smaller.  A lot smaller.
Your screaming does not make the play more exciting.  Listen to Bode Miller analyze skiing. Very calm and informative. Please tell us the truth. Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir are not afraid to say that some skating judging is absolutely insane. We know it, we saw it, too. It's not blasphemy to voice that opinion. I like their outfits, too, but Johnny is going to have to explain his hair. How can it grow three inches overnight?

***THEY SAID IT***
Patriots coach Bill Belichick, was asked by reporters what the difference between this Super Bowl and his previous seven: “This one is in Minnesota.”
"Fontbonne of St. Louis beat Greenville (Ill.) 164-154 in overtime Wednesday night, breaking the NCAA Division III record for combined points.In other words, they scheduled a D-III men’s basketball game, and the NBA All-Star Game broke out."  -- Dwight Perry
"The Canadian women’s hockey team defeated the United States at the Winter Olympics. These Canadians were mostly late bloomers. Some of them didn’t pick up a hockey stick until they were 9 months old."  -- Brad Dickson
" So this is how you judge Slope-Style Skateboarding: The winner was determined by who came as close as possible to killing himself while remaining standing on his board."  - Phil Mushnick
"Team Norway at the Olympics got 15,000 eggs instead of the 1,500 they ordered. So far the Norwegians are clean of PEDs, but their cholesterol is off the charts."  -- RJ Currie
"One problem with Winter Olympics is just when we begin to figure out what, for example, a good slalom run looks like, the events are over."  -- Janice Hough

"Serena Williams won the Australian Open a year ago while eight weeks pregnant. I think we’ve finally found something that Roger Federer can't do on a tennis court."  -- Bob Molinaro
"The Yankees have acquired the baseball rights to the Seahawks’ Russell Wilson. Imagine how the Jets and Giants feel, knowing that the Yankees have the best QB in New York."  -- Brett Miller
"Striking strippers in New York canceled plans to perform in Philadelphia this past week after they were told the poles there were coated with Crisco and hydraulic fluid."  -- Tony Chong
" Ex-Nebraskan Molly Schuyler won the Wing Bowl by downing 501 chicken wings, an average of 16.7 wings per minute — breaking the old record held by a garbage disposal."  -- Brad Dickson
"Among Oregon’s football recruits this year: Habakkuk Baldonado, a defensive end from Clearwater, Fla. Talk about mixed reviews: He’s rated a three-star recruit by 247 Sports but only one star by the National Association of Copy Editors."  -- Dwight Perry
"Wait a minute, how did  Shaun White get to be 31 years old? I didn’t know they allowed snowboarders to be over 30."  -- Janice Hough
"A brawl broke out in a professional rugby game in the country of Georgia, complete with punching, kicking and bloodshed. Then things got really violent: they played rugby."  -- RJ Currie 

CP-











Thursday, January 18, 2018

26 DAYS TO GO

Pitchers and catchers report in less than 4 weeks (Feb 13th) with position players due 5 days later. This promises to be one of the most interesting Yankee seasons in a long time. To paraphrase Chris Berman: "They...could...go...all...the...way!" 
In the meantime --
WHO
It's Hall of Fame time again, a very frustrating time for me, since voters have turned it into the Hall of the Very Good. There are 33 names on this year's ballot and I see five that should be elected, in my humble opinion.That's a lot for the harsh taskmaster that I am. The five:
Trevor Hoffman
Mike Mussina
Jim Thome
Gary Sheffield
Curt Schilling
I know that flies in the face of many writers who say that because they can only vote for ten players, a lot of worthy candidates will be left out. There are a few that are close, but not quite.
Wait-till-next-year would include the 2 Jones boys, Chipper and Andruw,Vlad Guerrero, Jeff Kent and Edgar Martinez. And of course, the steroid boys, Bonds, Clemens, and Sosa.
Interesting note about Sammy Sosa. The owner of the Chicago Cubs, Tom Ricketts, says that Sosa isn't welcome back to Wrigley Field until he owns up to his steroid use. Of course, since Sammy "doesn't speak or understand English," he probably doesn't know what's going on.
WHAT
Poor sportswriters, they don't have anything to report. There are lots of rumors but no free agent signings or trades of any significance since the Yanks nailed Stanton. Yu Darvish, the biggest name still out there, has named the only six teams he will sign with and still no movement. This is the Scott Boras Philosophy at it's finest. Who will blink first? Will the free agents lower their asking price significantly or will some team finally panic and offer a ridiculous contract? We will see.
I DON'T KNOW
There is a lot of talk lately about the New England Patriots being the beneficiary of a number of penalty calls that have helped them win games all year. Are they in fact getting all the breaks? It's possible but then others say, good teams make their own breaks.  No one knows for sure and the officials on the field certainly aren't going to say.
What's happening in the NBA? The teams are complaining that there are a lot of Technical Fouls being called and that most of them are uncalled for. The players claim  that the officials hare exercising a vendetta against the players. Again, you'll never get the officials to admit that or even explain what they think is happening. Supposedly, the two sides will sit down at the All-Star break and iron things out.
I DON'T CARE
The networks are afraid that will be the attitude of the viewers if the Super Bowl ends up being a Minnesota - Jacksonville game. No major market team can mean low viewership and worse yet, lower commercial income. Now we can't have THAT, can we? Well, I don't care,

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS
The Good: Utah Jazz Rodney Hood was fined $35,000 by the league after slapping the cell phone out of the hand of a fan as he left the arena after being ejected from the game. Would have been better if it was $50,000. When are these prima donnas going to realize that those fans are the life blood of the sport and should be treated with respect?
The Bad: We have lost Keith Jackson, one of the best sports announcers ever. He understood all the sports he covered and did not try to impose his personality over the actual game. I will miss his pet phrase - "Whoa Nellie!" Goodbye, Keith.

***THEY SAID IT***
"Boston recorded a temperature of minus-30 degrees. And that was just between Bill Belichick and Tom Brady."  -- Brad Dickson 
"Word is Maria Sharapova has unleashed a record-level shriek of 119 decibels. It happened when Australian Open officials announced the withdrawal of Serena Williams."  -- RJ Currie
"The Cleveland Browns just threw in the towel on the 2017 season. To no one’s surprise, it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown."  -- Dwight Perry
"What's it like living in New York City in the 1970s.  I used to jog 5 miles a day — 2 for my health, 3 for my life."  -- Marc Sheffler
"LaVar Ball told USA Today his son Lonzo is a better player than Steph Curry. If there was a concussion tent in basketball, they’d never let LaVar out of it"  -- RJ Currie

"NBC announced that it will air over 2,400 hours of Winter Olympics coverage. Well, 2,402 hours counting the men’s events."  -- Brad Dickson
"The expansion Las Vegas Knights’  have a 17-2-1 home record. Does the policy of having the visiting team partake in the ‘two-drink minimum’ have anything to do with this?"  -- TC Chong
" Since we are now looking at a possible Minnesota-Jacksonville Super Bowl, neither with a quarterback most Americans have heard of,  I guess this might be a game where people really do watch for the commercials."  -- Janice Hough
"Jennifer Lopez publicly suggested Alex Rodriguez should be the next Yankees manager. Really? Last anyone heard, A-Rod had his hands full managing himself."  -- RJ Currie
"There’s nothing so wrong with the NFL that it couldn’t be fixed by a reasonably well-aimed nuclear warhead."  -- Phil Mushnick

CP-

Thursday, December 14, 2017

THE NEVER-ENDING BOWL GAMES

It used to be a really big deal to get into a bowl game. There were about 10 of them when I was a betting...er, a young man, and you had to have a great record to get into one.  They had names like The Gator Bowl, or The Sun Bowl. Of course, there were the big four played on New Years day: Sugar, Cotton, Orange and the Rose Bowl, daddy of them all. Notice too, there were no sponsor's names cluttering up the titles. And forget your record. any excuse a bowl could come up with got you in.
Now, there are some 40 games and they ALL have sponsors. There are so many now that soon the bowls will have to come up with gimmicks to attract fans and teams. Here's what I can see coming up in the near future:

(These are the actual names of bowls)
The Military Bowl
Both teams must remain at attention the whole game 
The Camping World Bowl
No hotels for the teams and no locker rooms. You can shower down by the crick. 
The Play Station Fiesta Bowl
The teams sit in the stands and play Maddon Football on their gameboys.
The Walk-on Independence Bowl 
This one's hard to promote because the game will be played by whoever shows up. 
The AFR Celebration Bowl
There's no game, just a beer party 
The Dollar General Bowl
It won't be much of a game, but hell, it's only a buck. 
The Franklin American Mortgage Bowl
You get in free if you bring a foreclosure notice on your house.

The Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl
Next year, you'll be eligible for the Franklin Amer. Mort. Bowl
The CheriBundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl 
After dinner, you come here for dessert. (Record holder for the longest name) 
The Bahama's Bowl
Make sure you see the guy in the parking lot. "I've got the best stuff, Mon."

The oddest sponsor pairing belongs to The Bad Boys Mower Gasparilla Bowl. Lawn care and a pirate. You figure it out.

Enjoy whatever games you prefer. Remember, it's all about supporting colleges and the sport. Or as My Uncle Al used to say., "I'm taking Notre Dame and the points." 

***THEY SAID IT***
"I just saw the video of Edmonton coach Todd McLellan reaming out the Oilers during a recent practice. Profanity? It reminded me of the last call from my ex-wife."  -- RJ Currie
"Reportedly Astros saw that Yu Darvish was tipping his pitches in World Series. Question of the day – why couldn’t the Dodgers see it?"   -- Janice Hough
" On “Monday Night Countdown,” Steve Young bit the head off a raw fish. If this doesn’t restore ESPN to ratings prominence, I don’t know what will."  -- Brad Dickson
"After explosives failed to raze the Silverdome on the first try, they had to rename it Cleveland Browns Stadium to get it to collapse."  -- Alex Kaseberg
"The IOC is considering pole dancing, poker and foosball for the Olympic Games. At the current rate, soon we’ll have Olympic Hangman and beer pong."   -- Brad Dickson
"LiAngelo Ball just got a tweet of sympathy from Bluto Blutarsky: “Three months of college down the drain!”  -- Dwight Perry
"A Florida couple hoping to sue their landlord for not fixing a door faked a break-in by shooting themselves in the leg. Who gave them legal advice? Plaxico Burress?"  -- RJ Currie

CP-





Sunday, December 10, 2017

THE EVIL EMPIRE RETURNS

..and so have I. There have been a lot of mildly (to me) interesting things happening lately, but we finally have a blockbuster. And baseball's winter meetings won't start for a couple more days.

Last year, when the Red Sox landed Chris Sale, it looked like lights out for the AL East. Instead, the Yankees gave Boston all it could handle before the Sox finally won the division only to fall in the first round. Which proves the adage: You can load your roster with big names, but you still have to play the games, The Yankee fans should keep that in mind, because...

The Yanks have added THE big name this year, one Giancarlo Stanton. This gives the Yankees  potentially four 40+ home run hitters. Of course, scoring is only half the battle. You also have to keep the other team from scoring. Cashman will probably try to nab a frontline pitcher. There are a couple of potential land mines with the addition of Stanton:
Can he accept being just one of the stars on a team loaded with them?
How will he react to the overwhelming media coverage?
Can he fit into the clubhouse dynamic?

The Yanks also have a new manager, one with no experience. It will be up to him to get this machine running on all cylinders. Aaron Boone may be a great guy, and a win was expected of him, but now...it's going to be demanded.

The New York media has already come up with one interesting marketing ploy. Aaron Judge may have the "Judges Chambers," but Giancarlo will  have "Stanton's Island." (Between the NY Daily News and the Post, this could be a long summer)

Will we see the birth of a new episode of Murder's Row? The Yanks have had some powerful tandems of sluggers in their past. Ruth and Gehrig, DiMaggio and Berra, and. of course, Mantle Maris. Even if Stanton & Judge match last years home run totals, they still fall 4 short of the M Boys 115 in 1961. It will be fun to see them try.

The Army-Navy game was played in the snow down in Philly yesterday, with Army winning 14-13.
There were 6 punts, 95 runs and only 3 passes. Somewhere, Woody Hayes - author of the "three yards and a cloud of dust" offense, was smiling, having a beer and saying, "Now that's the way we do it."

Syracuse beat Colgate (the college, not the toothpaste) for the 52nd straight time (maybe it was the toothpaste) and they did it with only three players. At least, that's what it seemed like. Howard had 18 points, Brissett had 20 and Tyrus Battle threw in 24. That's 62 points. The whole Colgate team only scored 58. I don't think the Orange played a very aggressive defense: they only had 5 personal  fouls the whole game.

A girls basketball game in Montana ended with the score 102-0. Come on, what reasonable coach would let his team run up a score like that?  Apparently, the losing squad only had five players. I give them credit for staying to the end.


***THEY SAID IT***

" If Yankees win 2018 World Series will they vote Jeter a playoff share?"  -- Janice Hough
" If you already rooted against @Yankees then it’s not sour grapes if you start rooting against Stanton right?"  -- Janice Hough  [Janice is a die-hard SF Giants fan, so expect more of these. - CP]
"Cleveland receiver Josh Gordon said he used drugs or alcohol before every game. “They also help after games,” said Browns fans."  -- RJ Currie
"The IOC said it might consider including pole-dancing, poker and foosball in the next Games. They also said it’s the first Olympics that will be held in a frathouse basement.”  -- Conan O'Brien
"“Giants players beg Al Michaels not to use their real names during starting-lineup introduction.”  -- The Onion.com
" A meteorite may have flown past the U.S. last week. Then again, it may have been a wayward shot from Lonzo Ball."  -- Brad Dickson
"Per presidential custom, Donald Trump pardoned two turkeys last week. He should’ve pardoned the Giants-Washington game."  -- Dwight Perry
"The attempted implosion of The Detroit Pontiac Silverdome was a complete fail. Meanwhile The Detroit Lions continue to implode."  -- TC Chong
"Arizona is considering a bill to outlaw wearing a mask to a public event, which could make it very rough on the catchers during home games for the Diamondbacks."  -- Jim Barach
"Bruins RW David Backes scored two goals in his fourth game back from having surgery to remove part of his colon. That’s right; he punctuated his return with a semicolon"  -- RJ Currie
"I had a nightmare that New York Giants officials were in charge of the North Pole and sat Santa on Christmas Eve to go with his backup."  -- Brad Dickson
"And you wonder why NFL ratings are down! Putting the Dolphins offense on ‘Monday Night Football’ is like putting Aunt Phyllis’ minivan in the Daytona 500."  -- Mike Bianchi
'Dale Earnhardt Jr. and his wife are expecting their first child. There’s no excuse for not getting Mom to the hospital on time.”  -- Brad Dickson

Just so you know it's really a Yankee Christmas at our house this year.
CP-